William Shakespeare, The Comedies
(Oxford, 1916)

William Shakespeare (1564-1616)  
[Created: 1 August, 2021]
[Updated: February 6, 2023 ]
The Guillaumin Collection
This title is part of “The Guillaumin Collection” within “The Digital Library of Liberty and Power”. It has been more richly coded and has some features which other titles in the library do not have, such as the original page numbers, formatting which makes it look as much like the original text as possible, and a citation tool which makes it possible for scholars to link to an individual paragraph which is of interest to them. These titles are also available in a variety of eBook formats for reading on portable devices.
Source

William Shakespeare, The Complete Works (London: Oxford University Press, 1916).http://davidmhart.com/liberty/OtherWorks/Shakespeare/1916-OxfordCompleteWorks/EnhancedHTMLversion/Shakespeare_Comedies1916.html

 

This book is part of a collection of works by William Shakespeare (1564-1616).

 

Editor’s Note

This “enhanced HTML” version of the plays is taken from The Complete Works of William Shakespeare edited by Craig and published by OUP in 1916. Because of the length of the book and the complexities of the coding I have taken the plays and split them into into three parts following the practice of the First Folio edition: The Comedies, The Histories, and The Tragedies. The entire book (which also includes the poems) with a simpler coding can be found here in HTML and facs. PDF [125.3 MB].

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, ed. with a glossary by W.J. Craig M.A. (London: Oxford University Press, 1916).

For the component parts, see:

 


 

Table of Contents (abbreviated)

 


 

Table of Contents (full)

 


 

Shakespeare's Comedies

THE TEMPEST

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

Alonso, King of Naples.
Sebastian, his Brother.
Prospero, the right Duke of Milan.
Antonio, his Brother, the usurping Duke of Milan.
Ferdinand, Son to the King of Naples.
Gonzalo, an honest old Counsellor.
Adrian,       } Lords.
Francisco, }
Caliban, a savage and deformed Slave.
Trinculo, a Jester.
Stephano, a drunken Butler.
Master of a Ship, Boatswain, Mariners.
Miranda, Daughter to Prospero.
Ariel, an airy Spirit.
Iris,        } presented by Spirits.
Ceres,     }
Juno,       }
Nymphs,  }
Reapers, }
Other Spirits attending on Prospero.

 


 

Scene.The Sea, with a Ship; afterwards an Island.

ACT I.

Scene I.— On a Ship at Sea. A tempestuous noise of thunder and lightning heard.

Enter a Shipmaster and a Boatswain severally.

Mast.

Boatswain!

Boats.

Here, master: what cheer?

Mast.

Good, speak to the mariners: fall to’t yarely, or we run ourselves aground: bestir, bestir.

[Exit.

Enter Mariners.

Boats.

Heigh, my hearts! cheerly, cheerly, my hearts! yare, yare! Take in the topsail. Tend to the master’s whistle.—Blow, till thou burst thy wind, if room enough!  9

Enter Alonso, Sebastian, Antonio, Ferdinand, Gonzalo, and others.

Alon.

Good boatswain, have care. Where’s the master? Play the men.

Boats.

I pray now, keep below.  12

Ant.

Where is the master, boson?

Boats.

Do you not hear him? You mar our labour: keep your cabins: you do assist the storm.  16

Gon.

Nay, good, be patient.

Boats.

When the sea is. Hence! What cares these roarers for the name of king? To cabin: silence! trouble us not.  20

Gon.

Good, yet remember whom thou hast aboard.  22

Boats.

None that I more love than myself. You are a counsellor: if you can command these elements to silence, and work the peace of the present, we will not hand a rope more; use your authority: if you cannot, give thanks you have lived so long, and make yourself ready in your cabin for the mischance of the hour, if it so hap.—Cheerly, good hearts!—Out of our way, I say.

[Exit.

Gon.

I have great comfort from this fellow: methinks he hath no drowning mark upon him; his complexion is perfect gallows. Stand fast, good Fate, to his hanging! make the rope of his destiny our cable, for our own doth little advantage! If he be not born to be hanged, our case is miserable.

[Exeunt.

Re-enter Boatswain.

Boats.

Down with the topmast! yare! lower, lower! Bring her to try with main-course. [A cry within.] A plague upon this howling! they are louder than the weather, or our office.—  42

Re-enter Sebastian, Antonio, and Gonzalo.

Yet again? what do you here? Shall we give o’er, and drown? Have you a mind to sink?

Seb.

A pox o’ your throat, you bawling, blasphemous, incharitable dog!

Boats.

Work you, then.  47

Ant.

Hang, cur, hang! you whoreson, insolent noisemaker, we are less afraid to be drowned than thou art.

Gon.

I’ll warrant him for drowning; though the ship were no stronger than a nutshell, and as leaky as an unstanched wench.  53

Boats.

Lay her a-hold, a-hold! Set her two courses; off to sea again; lay her off.

Enter Mariners, wet.

Mar.

All lost! to prayers, to prayers! all lost!

[Exeunt.

Boats.

What, must our mouths be cold?  58

Gon.

The king and prince at prayers! let us assist them,

For our case is as theirs.

Seb.

I am out of patience.  60

Ant.

We are merely cheated of our lives by drunkards.—

This wide-chapp’d rascal,—would thou might’st lie drowning,

The washing of ten tides!

Gon.

He’ll be hang’d yet,

Though every drop of water swear against it,  64

And gape at wid’st to glut him.

[A confused noise within,—‘Mercy on us!’—

‘We split, we split!’—‘Farewell, my wife and children!’—

‘Farewell, brother!’—‘We split, we split, we split!’—]  67

Ant.

Let’s all sink wi’ the king.

[Exit.

Seb.

Let’s take leave of him.

[Exit.

Gon.

Now would I give a thousand furlongs of sea for an acre of barren ground; long heath, brown furze, any thing. The wills above be done! but I would fain die a dry death.

[Exit.

Scene II.— The Island: before the Cell of Prospero.

Enter Prospero and Miranda.

Mira.

If by your art, my dearest father, you have

Put the wild waters in this roar, allay them.

The sky, it seems, would pour down stinking pitch,  3

But that the sea, mounting to th’ welkin’s cheek,

Dashes the fire out. O! I have suffer’d

With those that I saw suffer: a brave vessel,

Who had, no doubt, some noble creatures in her,

Dash’d all to pieces. O! the cry did knock  8

Against my very heart. Poor souls, they perish’d.

Had I been any god of power, I would

Have sunk the sea within the earth, or e’er  11

It should the good ship so have swallow’d and

The fraughting souls within her.

Pro.

Be collected:

No more amazement. Tell your piteous heart

There’s no harm done.

Mira.

O, woe the day!

Pro.

No harm.

I have done nothing but in care of thee,—  16

Of thee, my dear one! thee, my daughter!—who

Art ignorant of what thou art, nought knowing

Of whence I am: nor that I am more better

Than Prospero, master of a full poor cell,  20

And thy no greater father.

Mira.

More to know

Did never meddle with my thoughts.

Pro.

’Tis time

I should inform thee further. Lend thy hand,

And pluck my magic garment from me.—So:  24

[Lays down his mantle.

Lie there, my art.—Wipe thou thine eyes; have comfort.

The direful spectacle of the wrack, which touch’d

The very virtue of compassion in thee,

I have with such provision in mine art  28

So safely order’d, that there is no soul—

No, not so much perdition as an hair,

Betid to any creature in the vessel

Which thou heard’st cry, which thou saw’st sink. Sit down;  32

For thou must now know further.

Mira.

You have often

Begun to tell me what I am, but stopp’d,

And left me to a bootless inquisition,

Concluding, ‘Stay; not yet.’

Pro.

The hour’s now come,  36

The very minute bids thee ope thine ear;

Obey and be attentive. Canst thou remember

A time before we came unto this cell?

I do not think thou canst, for then thou wast not  40

Out three years old.

Mira.

Certainly, sir, I can.

Pro.

By what? by any other house or person?

Of anything the image tell me, that

Hath kept with thy remembrance.

Mira.

’Tis far off;  44

And rather like a dream than an assurance

That my remembrance warrants. Had I not

Four or five women once that tended me?

Pro.

Thou hadst, and more, Miranda. But how is it  48

That this lives in thy mind? What seest thou else

In the dark backward and abysm of time?

If thou remember’st aught ere thou cam’st here,

How thou cam’st here, thou may’st.

Mira.

But that I do not.  52

Pro.

Twelve year since, Miranda, twelve year since,

Thy father was the Duke of Milan and

A prince of power.

Mira.

Sir, are not you my father?

Pro.

Thy mother was a piece of virtue, and

She said thou wast my daughter; and thy father

Was Duke of Milan, and his only heir  58

A princess,—no worse issued.

Mira.

O, the heavens!

What foul play had we that we came from thence?  60

Or blessed was’t we did?

Pro.

Both, both, my girl:

By foul play, as thou say’st, were we heav’d thence;

But blessedly holp hither.

Mira.

O! my heart bleeds

To think o’ the teen that I have turn’d you to,

Which is from my remembrance. Please you, further.  65

Pro.

My brother and thy uncle, call’d Antonio,—

I pray thee, mark me,—that a brother should

Be so perfidious!—he whom next thyself,  68

Of all the world I lov’d, and to him put

The manage of my state; as at that time,

Through all the signiories it was the first,  71

And Prospero the prime duke; being so reputed

In dignity, and for the liberal arts,

Without a parallel: those being all my study,

The government I cast upon my brother,

And to my state grew stranger, being transported  76

And rapt in secret studies. Thy false uncle—

Dost thou attend me?

Mira.

Sir, most heedfully.

Pro.

Being once perfected how to grant suits,

How to deny them, who t’advance, and who  80

To trash for over-topping; new created

The creatures that were mine, I say, or chang’d ’em,

Or else new form’d ’em: having both the key

Of officer and office, set all hearts i’ the state  84

To what tune pleas’d his ear; that now he was

The ivy which had hid my princely trunk,

And suck’d my verdure out on’t.—Thou attend’st not.

Mira.

O, good sir! I do.

Pro.

I pray thee, mark me.  88

I, thus neglecting worldly ends, all dedicated

To closeness and the bettering of my mind

With that, which, but by being so retir’d,  91

O’erpriz’d all popular rate, in my false brother

Awak’d an evil nature; and my trust,

Like a good parent, did beget of him

A falsehood in its contrary as great  95

As my trust was; which had, indeed no limit,

A confidence sans bound. He being thus lorded,

Not only with what my revenue yielded,

But what my power might else exact,—like one,

Who having, into truth, by telling of it,  100

Made such a sinner of his memory,

To credit his own lie,—he did believe

He was indeed the duke; out o’ the substitution,

And executing th’ outward face of royalty,  104

With all prerogative:—Hence his ambition growing,—

Dost thou hear?

Mira.

Your tale, sir, would cure deafness.

Pro.

To have no screen between this part he play’d

And him he play’d it for, he needs will be  108

Absolute Milan. Me, poor man,—my library

Was dukedom large enough: of temporal royalties

He thinks me now incapable; confederates,—

So dry he was for sway,—wi’ the king of Naples

To give him annual tribute, do him homage;

Subject his coronet to his crown, and bend

The dukedom, yet unbow’d,—alas, poor Milan!—

To most ignoble stooping.

Mira.

O the heavens!  116

Pro.

Mark his condition and the event; then tell me

If this might be a brother.

Mira.

I should sin

To think but nobly of my grandmother:

Good wombs have borne bad sons.

Pro.

Now the condition.  120

This King of Naples, being an enemy

To me inveterate, hearkens my brother’s suit;

Which was, that he, in lieu o’ the premises

Of homage and I know not how much tribute,

Should presently extirpate me and mine  125

Out of the dukedom, and confer fair Milan,

With all the honours on my brother: whereon,

A treacherous army levied, one midnight  128

Fated to the purpose did Antonio open

The gates of Milan; and, i’ the dead of darkness,

The ministers for the purpose hurried thence

Me and thy crying self.

Mira.

Alack, for pity!  132

I, not rememb’ring how I cried out then,

Will cry it o’er again: it is a hint,

That wrings mine eyes to ’t.

Pro.

Hear a little further,

And then I’ll bring thee to the present business

Which now’s upon us; without the which this story  137

Were most impertinent.

Mira.

Wherefore did they not

That hour destroy us?

Pro.

Well demanded, wench:

My tale provokes that question. Dear, they durst not,  140

So dear the love my people bore me, nor set

A mark so bloody on the business; but

With colours fairer painted their foul ends.

In few, they hurried us aboard a bark,  144

Bore us some leagues to sea; where they prepar’d

A rotten carcass of a boat, not rigg’d,

Nor tackle, sail, nor mast; the very rats

Instinctively have quit it: there they hoist us,

To cry to the sea that roar’d to us; to sigh  149

To the winds whose pity, sighing back again,

Did us but loving wrong.

Mira.

Alack! what trouble

Was I then to you!

Pro.

O, a cherubin  152

Thou wast, that did preserve me! Thou didst smile,

Infused with a fortitude from heaven,

When I have deck’d the sea with drops full salt,

Under my burden groan’d; which rais’d in me

An undergoing stomach, to bear up  157

Against what should ensue.

Mira.

How came we ashore?

Pro.

By Providence divine.  159

Some food we had and some fresh water that

A noble Neapolitan, Gonzalo,

Out of his charity,—who being then appointed

Master of this design,—did give us; with  163

Rich garments, linens, stuffs, and necessaries,

Which since have steaded much; so, of his gentleness,

Knowing I lov’d my books, he furnish’d me,

From mine own library with volumes that

I prize above my dukedom.

Mira.

Would I might  168

But ever see that man!

Pro.

Now I arise:—

[Resumes his mantle.

Sit still, and hear the last of our sea-sorrow.

Here in this island we arriv’d; and here

Have I, thy schoolmaster, made thee more profit

Than other princes can, that have more time

For vainer hours and tutors not so careful.

Mira.

Heavens thank you for’t! And now, I pray you, sir,—

For still ’tis beating in my mind,—your reason  176

For raising this sea-storm?

Pro.

Know thus far forth.

By accident most strange, bountiful Fortune,

Now my dear lady, hath mine enemies

Brought to this shore; and by my prescience  180

I find my zenith doth depend upon

A most auspicious star, whose influence

If now I court not but omit, my fortunes

Will ever after droop. Here cease more questions;  184

Thou art inclin’d to sleep; ’tis a good dulness,

And give it way;—I know thou canst not choose.—

[Miranda sleeps.

Come away, servant, come! I’m ready now.

Approach, my Ariel; come!  188

Enter Ariel.

Ari.

All hail, great master! grave sir, hail! I come

To answer thy best pleasure; be’t to fly,

To swim, to dive into the fire, to ride  191

On the curl’d clouds: to thy strong bidding task

Ariel and all his quality.

Pro.

Hast thou, spirit,

Perform’d to point the tempest that I bade thee?

Ari.

To every article.

I boarded the king’s ship; now on the beak,  196

Now in the waist, the deck, in every cabin,

I flam’d amazement: sometime I’d divide

And burn in many places; on the topmast,

The yards, and boresprit, would I flame distinctly,  200

Then meet, and join: Jove’s lightnings, the precursors

O’ the dreadful thunder-claps, more momentary

And sight-outrunning were not: the fire and cracks

Of sulphurous roaring the most mighty Neptune

Seem to besiege and make his bold waves tremble,  205

Yea, his dread trident shake.

Pro.

My brave spirit!

Who was so firm, so constant, that this coil

Would not infect his reason?

Ari.

Not a soul  208

But felt a fever of the mad and play’d

Some tricks of desperation. All but mariners,

Plunged in the foaming brine and quit the vessel,

Then all a-fire with me: the king’s son, Ferdinand,  212

With hair up-staring,—then like reeds, not hair,—

Was the first man that leap’d; cried, ‘Hell is empty,

And all the devils are here.’

Pro.

Why, that’s my spirit!

But was not this nigh shore?

Ari.

Close by, my master.  216

Pro.

But are they, Ariel, safe?

Ari.

Not a hair perish’d;

On their sustaining garments not a blemish,

But fresher than before: and, as thou bad’st me,

In troops I have dispers’d them ’bout the isle.

The king’s son have I landed by himself;  221

Whom I left cooling of the air with sighs

In an odd angle of the isle and sitting,

His arms in this sad knot.

Pro.

Of the king’s ship  224

The mariners, say how thou hast dispos’d,

And all the rest o’ the fleet.

Ari.

Safely in harbour

Is the king’s ship; in the deep nook, where once

Thou call’dst me up at midnight to fetch dew

From the still-vex’d Bermoothes; there she’s hid:

The mariners all under hatches stow’d;  230

Who, with a charm join’d to their suffer’d labour,

I have left asleep: and for the rest o’ the fleet

Which I dispers’d, they all have met again,

And are upon the Mediterranean flote,

Bound sadly home for Naples,

Supposing that they saw the king’s ship wrack’d,  236

And his great person perish.

Pro.

Ariel, thy charge

Exactly is perform’d: but there’s more work:

What is the time o’ th’ day?

Ari.

Past the mid season.

Pro.

At least two glasses. The time ’twixt six and now  240

Must by us both be spent most preciously.

Ari.

Is there more toil? Since thou dost give me pains,

Let me remember thee what thou hast promis’d

Which is not yet perform’d me.

Pro.

How now! moody?  244

What is’t thou canst demand?

Ari.

My liberty.

Pro.

Before the time be out? no more!

Ari.

I prithee

Remember, I have done thee worthy service;

Told thee no lies, made no mistakings, serv’d

Without or grudge or grumblings: thou didst promise  249

To bate me a full year.

Pro.

Dost thou forget

From what a torment I did free thee?

Ari.

No.

Pro.

Thou dost; and think’st it much to tread the ooze  252

Of the salt deep,

To run upon the sharp wind of the north,

To do me business in the veins o’ th’ earth

When it is bak’d with frost.

Ari.

I do not, sir.  256

Pro.

Thou liest, malignant thing! Hast thou forgot

The foul witch Sycorax, who with age and envy

Was grown into a hoop? hast thou forgot her?

Ari.

No, sir.

Pro.

Thou hast. Where was she born? speak; tell me.  260

Ari.

Sir, in Argier.

Pro.

O! was she so? I must,

Once in a month, recount what thou hast been,

Which thou forget’st. This damn’d witch, Sycorax,  263

For mischiefs manifold and sorceries terrible

To enter human hearing, from Argier,

Thou know’st, was banish’d: for one thing she did

They would not take her life. Is not this true?

Ari.

Ay, sir.  268

Pro.

This blue-ey’d hag was hither brought with child

And here was left by the sailors. Thou, my slave,

As thou report’st thyself, wast then her servant:

And, for thou wast a spirit too delicate  272

To act her earthy and abhorr’d commands,

Refusing her grand hests, she did confine thee,

By help of her more potent ministers,

And in her most unmitigable rage,  276

Into a cloven pine; within which rift

Imprison’d, thou didst painfully remain

A dozen years; within which space she died

And left thee there, where thou didst vent thy groans  280

As fast as mill-wheels strike. Then was this island,—

Save for the son that she did litter here,

A freckled whelp hag-born,—not honour’d with

A human shape.

Ari.

Yes; Caliban her son.  284

Pro.

Dull thing, I say so; he that Caliban,

Whom now I keep in service. Thou best know’st

What torment I did find thee in; thy groans

Did make wolves howl and penetrate the breasts

Of ever-angry bears: it was a torment  289

To lay upon the damn’d, which Sycorax

Could not again undo; it was mine art,

When I arriv’d and heard thee, that made gape

The pine, and let thee out.

Ari.

I thank thee, master.

Pro.

If thou more murmur’st, I will rend an oak

And peg thee in his knotty entrails till

Thou hast howl’d away twelve winters.

Ari.

Pardon, master;  296

I will be correspondent to command,

And do my spiriting gently.

Pro.

Do so; and after two days

I will discharge thee.

Ari.

That’s my noble master!

What shall I do? say what? what shall I do?

Pro.

Go make thyself like a nymph of the sea: be subject  301

To no sight but thine and mine; invisible

To every eyeball else. Go, take this shape,

And hither come in’t: go, hence with diligence!

[Exit Ariel.

Awake, dear heart, awake! thou hast slept well;

Awake!

Mira.

[Waking.] The strangeness of your story put

Heaviness in me.

Pro.

Shake it off. Come on;

We’ll visit Caliban my slave, who never  308

Yields us kind answer.

Mira.

’Tis a villain, sir,

I do not love to look on.

Pro.

But, as ’tis,

We cannot miss him: he does make our fire,

Fetch in our wood; and serves in offices  312

That profit us.—What ho! slave! Caliban!

Thou earth, thou! speak.

Cal.

[Within.] There’s wood enough within.

Pro.

Come forth, I say; there’s other business for thee:

Come, thou tortoise! when?  316

Re-enter Ariel, like a water-nymph.

Fine apparition! My quaint Ariel,

Hark in thine ear.

Ari.

My lord, it shall be done.

[Exit.

Pro.

Thou poisonous slave, got by the devil himself

Upon thy wicked dam, come forth!  320

Enter Caliban.

Cal.

As wicked dew as e’er my mother brush’d

With raven’s feather from unwholesome fen

Drop on you both! a south-west blow on ye,

And blister you all o’er!  324

Pro.

For this, be sure, to-night thou shalt have cramps,

Side-stitches that shall pen thy breath up; urchins

Shall forth at vast of night, that they may work

All exercise on thee: thou shalt be pinch’d  328

As thick as honeycomb, each pinch more stinging

Than bees that made them.

Cal.

I must eat my dinner.

This island’s mine, by Sycorax my mother,

Which thou tak’st from me. When thou camest first,  332

Thou strok’dst me, and mad’st much of me; wouldst give me

Water with berries in’t; and teach me how

To name the bigger light, and how the less,

That burn by day and night: and then I lov’d thee  336

And show’d thee all the qualities o’ th’ isle,

The fresh springs, brine-pits, barren place, and fertile.

Cursed be I that did so!—All the charms

Of Sycorax, toads, beetles, bats, light on you!

For I am all the subjects that you have,  341

Which first was mine own king; and here you sty me

In this hard rock, whiles you do keep from me

The rest o’ th’ island.

Pro.

Thou most lying slave,  344

Whom stripes may move, not kindness! I have us’d thee,

Filth as thou art, with human care; and lodg’d thee

In mine own cell, till thou didst seek to violate

The honour of my child.  348

Cal.

Oh ho! Oh ho!—would it had been done!

Thou didst prevent me; I had peopled else

This isle with Calibans.

Pro.

Abhorred slave,

Which any print of goodness will not take,  352

Being capable of all ill! I pitied thee,

Took pains to make thee speak, taught thee each hour

One thing or other: when thou didst not, savage,

Know thine own meaning, but wouldst gabble like  356

A thing most brutish, I endow’d thy purposes

With words that made them known: but thy vile race,

Though thou didst learn, had that in’t which good natures

Could not abide to be with; therefore wast thou

Deservedly confin’d into this rock,  361

Who hadst deserv’d more than a prison.

Cal.

You taught me language: and my profit on’t  363

Is, I know how to curse: the red plague rid you,

For learning me your language!

Pro.

Hag-seed, hence!

Fetch us in fuel; and be quick, thou’rt best,

To answer other business. Shrug’st thou, malice?

If thou neglect’st, or dost unwillingly  368

What I command, I’ll rack thee with old cramps,

Fill all thy bones with aches; make thee roar,

That beasts shall tremble at thy din.

Cal.

No, pray thee!—

[Aside.] I must obey: his art is of such power,

It would control my dam’s god, Setebos,  373

And make a vassal of him.

Pro.

So, slave; hence!

[Exit Caliban.

Re-enter Ariel invisible, playing and singing; Ferdinand following.

Ariel’s Song.

Come unto these yellow sands,

And then take hands:  376

Curtsied when you have, and kiss’d,—

The wild waves whist,—

Foot it featly here and there;

And, sweet sprites, the burden bear.  380

Hark, hark!

[Burden Bow, wow, dispersedly.

The watch-dogs bark:

[Burden Bow, wow, dispersedly.

Hark, hark! I hear

The strain of strutting Chanticleer  384

[Cry, Cock-a-diddle-dow.

Fer.

Where should this music be? i’ th’ air, or th’ earth?

It sounds no more;—and sure, it waits upon

Some god o’ th’ island. Sitting on a bank,

Weeping again the king my father’s wrack,  388

This music crept by me upon the waters,

Allaying both their fury, and my passion,

With its sweet air: thence I have follow’d it,—

Or it hath drawn me rather,—but ’tis gone.  392

No, it begins again.

Ariel sings.

Full fathom five thy father lies;

Of his bones are coral made

Those are pearls that were his eyes:  396

Nothing of him that doth fade,

But doth suffer a sea-change

Into something rich and strange.

Sea-nymphs hourly ring his knell:  400

[Burden ding-dong.

Hark! now I hear them,—ding-dong, bell.

Fer.

The ditty does remember my drown’d father.

This is no mortal business, nor no sound

That the earth owes:—I hear it now above me.

Pro.

The fringed curtains of thine eye advance,  405

And say what thou seest yond.

Mira.

What is’t? a spirit?

Lord, how it looks about! Believe me, sir,

It carries a brave form:—but ’tis a spirit.  408

Pro.

No, wench; it eats and sleeps, and hath such senses

As we have, such; this gallant which thou see’st,

Was in the wrack; and, but he’s something stain’d

With grief,—that’s beauty’s canker,—thou might’st call him  412

A goodly person: he hath lost his fellows

And strays about to find ’em.

Mira.

I might call him

A thing divine; for nothing natural

I ever saw so noble.

Pro.

[Aside.] It goes on, I see,  416

As my soul prompts it.—Spirit, fine spirit! I’ll free thee

Within two days for this.

Fer.

Most sure, the goddess

On whom these airs attend!—Vouchsafe, my prayer

May know if you remain upon this island;  420

And that you will some good instruction give

How I may bear me here: my prime request,

Which I do last pronounce, is,—O you wonder!—

If you be maid or no?

Mira.

No wonder, sir;  424

But certainly a maid.

Fer.

My language! heavens!—

I am the best of them that speak this speech,

Were I but where ’tis spoken.

Pro.

How! the best?

What wert thou, if the King of Naples heard thee?  428

Fer.

A single thing, as I am now, that wonders

To hear thee speak of Naples. He does hear me;

And, that he does, I weep: myself am Naples,

Who with mine eyes,—ne’er since at ebb,—beheld

The king, my father wrack’d.

Mira.

Alack, for mercy!

Fer.

Yes, faith, and all his lords; the Duke of Milan,  434

And his brave son being twain.

Pro.

[Aside.] The Duke of Milan,

And his more braver daughter could control thee,

If now ’twere fit to do’t.—At the first sight  437

[Aside.]

They have changed eyes:—delicate Ariel,

I’ll set thee free for this!—[To Fer.] A word, good sir;

I fear you have done yourself some wrong: a word.  440

Mira.

[Aside.] Why speaks my father so ungently? This

Is the third man that e’er I saw; the first

That e’er I sigh’d for: pity move my father

To be inclin’d my way!

Fer.

[Aside.] O! if a virgin,  444

And your affection not gone forth, I’ll make you

The Queen of Naples.

Pro.

Soft, sir: one word more—

[Aside.] They are both in either’s powers: but this swift business

I must uneasy make, lest too light winning  448

Make the prize light.—[To Fer.] One word more: I charge thee

That thou attend me. Thou dost here usurp

The name thou ow’st not; and hast put thyself

Upon this island as a spy, to win it  452

From me, the lord on’t.

Fer.

No, as I am a man.

Mira.

There’s nothing ill can dwell in such a temple:

If the ill spirit have so fair a house,

Good things will strive to dwell with’t.

Pro.

[To Fer.] Follow me.—  456

[To Mira.] Speak not you for him; he’s a traitor.—[To Fer.] Come;

I’ll manacle thy neck and feet together:

Sea-water shalt thou drink; thy food shall be

The fresh-brook muscles, wither’d roots and husks  460

Wherein the acorn cradled. Follow.

Fer.

No;

I will resist such entertainment till

Mine enemy has more power.

[He draws, and is charmed from moving.

Mira.

O dear father!

Make not too rash a trial of him, for  464

He’s gentle, and not fearful.

Pro.

What! I say,

My foot my tutor?—Put thy sword up, traitor;

Who mak’st a show, but dar’st not strike, thy conscience

Is so possess’d with guilt: come from thy ward,

For I can here disarm thee with this stick  469

And make thy weapon drop.

Mira.

Beseech you, father!

Pro.

Hence! hang not on my garments.

Mira.

Sir, have pity:

I’ll be his surety.

Pro.

Silence! one word more  472

Shall make me chide thee, if not hate thee. What!

An advocate for an impostor? hush!

Thou think’st there is no more such shapes as he,

Having seen but him and Caliban: foolish wench!  476

To the most of men this is a Caliban

And they to him are angels.

Mira.

My affections

Are then most humble; I have no ambition

To see a goodlier man.

Pro.

[To Fer.] Come on; obey:  480

Thy nerves are in their infancy again,

And have no vigour in them.

Fer.

So they are:

My spirits, as in a dream, are all bound up.

My father’s loss, the weakness which I feel,  484

The wrack of all my friends, or this man’s threats,

To whom I am subdued, are but light to me,

Might I but through my prison once a day

Behold this maid: all corners else o’ th’ earth

Let liberty make use of; space enough  489

Have I in such a prison.

Pro.

[Aside.] It works.—[To Fer.] Come on.—

Thou hast done well, fine Ariel!—[To Fer.] Follow me.—

[To Ariel.] Hark, what thou else shalt do me.

Mira.

Be of comfort;  492

My father’s of a better nature, sir,

Than he appears by speech: this is unwonted,

Which now came from him.

Pro.

Thou shalt be as free

As mountain winds; but then exactly do  496

All points of my command.

Ari.

To the syllable.

Pro.

[To Fer.] Come, follow.—Speak not for him.

[Exeunt.

ACT II.

Scene I.— Another Part of the Island.

Enter Alonso, Sebastian, Antonio, Gonzalo, Adrian, Francisco, and others.

Gon.

Beseech you, sir, be merry: you have cause,

So have we all, of joy; for our escape

Is much beyond our loss. Our hint of woe

Is common: every day some sailor’s wife,  4

The masters of some merchant and the merchant,

Have just our theme of woe; but for the miracle,

I mean our preservation, few in millions

Can speak like us: then wisely, good sir, weigh

Our sorrow with our comfort.

Alon.

Prithee, peace.  9

Seb.

He receives comfort like cold porridge.

Ant.

The visitor will not give him o’er so.

Seb.

Look, he’s winding up the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike.  13

Gon.

Sir,—

Seb.

One: tell.

Gon.

When every grief is entertain’d that’s offer’d,  16

Comes to the entertainer—

Seb.

A dollar.

Gon.

Dolour comes to him, indeed: you have spoken truer than you purposed.  20

Seb.

You have taken it wiselier than I meant you should.

Gon.

Therefore, my lord,—

Ant.

Fie, what a spendthrift is he of his tongue!  25

Alon.

I prithee, spare.

Gon.

Well, I have done: but yet—

Seb.

He will be talking.  28

Ant.

Which, of he or Adrian, for a good wager, first begins to crow?

Seb.

The old cock.

Ant.

The cockerel.  32

Seb.

Done. The wager?

Ant.

A laughter.

Seb.

A match!

Adr.

Though this island seem to be desert,—

Seb.

Ha, ha, ha! So you’re paid.

Adr.

Uninhabitable, and almost inaccessible,—

Seb.

Yet—

Adr.

Yet—

Ant.

He could not miss it.

Adr.

It must needs be of subtle, tender, and delicate temperance.

Ant.

Temperance was a delicate wench.  44

Seb.

Ay, and a subtle; as he most learnedly delivered.

Adr.

The air breathes upon us here most sweetly.  48

Seb.

As if it had lungs, and rotten ones.

Ant.

Or as ’twere perfumed by a fen.

Gon.

Here is everything advantageous to life.

Ant.

True; save means to live.  53

Seb.

Of that there’s none, or little.

Gon.

How lush and lusty the grass looks! how green!  56

Ant.

The ground indeed is tawny.

Seb.

With an eye of green in’t.

Ant.

He misses not much.

Seb.

No; he doth but mistake the truth totally.  61

Gon.

But the rarity of it is,—which is indeed almost beyond credit,—

Seb.

As many vouch’d rarities are.  64

Gon.

That our garments, being, as they were, drenched in the sea, hold notwithstanding their freshness and glosses; being rather new-dyed than stain’d with salt water.  68

Ant.

If but one of his pockets could speak, would it not say he lies?

Seb.

Ay, or very falsely pocket up his report.

Gon.

Methinks, our garments are now as fresh as when we put them on first in Afric, at the marriage of the king’s fair daughter Claribel to the King of Tunis.  75

Seb.

’Twas a sweet marriage, and we prosper well in our return.

Adr.

Tunis was never graced before with such a paragon to their queen.

Gon.

Not since widow Dido’s time.  80

Ant.

Widow! a pox o’ that! How came that widow in? Widow Dido!

Seb.

What if he had said, widower Æneas too? Good Lord, how you take it!  84

Adr.

Widow Dido, said you? you make me study of that: she was of Carthage, not of Tunis.

Gon.

This Tunis, sir, was Carthage.

Adr.

Carthage?  88

Gon.

I assure you, Carthage.

Ant.

His word is more than the miraculous harp.

Seb.

He hath rais’d the wall, and houses too.

Ant.

What impossible matter will he make easy next?

Seb.

I think he will carry this island home in his pocket, and give it his son for an apple.  96

Ant.

And, sowing the kernels of it in the sea, bring forth more islands.

Alon.

Ay?

Ant.

Why, in good time.  100

Gon.

[To Alon.] Sir, we were talking that our garments seem now as fresh as when we were at Tunis at the marriage of your daughter, who is now queen.  104

Ant.

And the rarest that e’er came there.

Seb.

Bate, I beseech you, widow Dido.

Ant.

O! widow Dido; ay, widow Dido.

Gon.

Is not, sir, my doublet as fresh as the first day I wore it? I mean, in a sort.  109

Ant.

That sort was well fish’d for.

Gon.

When I wore it at your daughter’s marriage?  112

Alon.

You cram these words into mine ears, against

The stomach of my sense. Would I had never

Married my daughter there! for, coming thence,

My son is lost; and, in my rate, she too,  116

Who is so far from Italy remov’d,

I ne’er again shall see her. O thou, mine heir

Of Naples and of Milan! what strange fish

Hath made his meal on thee?

Fran.

Sir, he may live:  120

I saw him beat the surges under him,

And ride upon their backs: he trod the water,

Whose enmity he flung aside, and breasted

The surge most swoln that met him: his bold head  124

’Bove the contentious waves he kept, and oar’d

Himself with his good arms in lusty stroke

To the shore, that o’er his wave-worn basis bow’d,

As stooping to relieve him. I not doubt  128

He came alive to land.

Alon.

No, no; he’s gone.

Seb.

Sir, you may thank yourself for this great loss,

That would not bless our Europe with your daughter,

But rather lose her to an African;  132

Where she at least is banish’d from your eye,

Who hath cause to wet the grief on’t.

Alon.

Prithee, peace.

Seb.

You were kneel’d to and importun’d otherwise

By all of us; and the fair soul herself  136

Weigh’d between loathness and obedience, at

Which end o’ the beam should bow. We have lost your son,

I fear, for ever: Milan and Naples have

More widows in them of this business’ making,

Than we bring men to comfort them: the fault’s  141

Your own.

Alon.

So is the dearest of the loss.

Gon.

My lord Sebastian,

The truth you speak doth lack some gentleness

And time to speak it in; you rub the sore,  145

When you should bring the plaster.

Seb.

Very well.

Ant.

And most chirurgeonly.

Gon.

It is foul weather in us all, good sir,  148

When you are cloudy.

Seb.

Foul weather?

Ant.

Very foul.

Gon.

Had I plantation of this isle, my lord,—

Ant.

He’d sow’t with nettle-seed.

Seb.

Or docks, or mallows.

Gon.

’And were the king on’t, what would I do?

Seb.

’Scape being drunk for want of wine.  153

Gon.

I’ the commonwealth I would by contraries

Execute all things; for no kind of traffic

Would I admit; no name of magistrate;  156

Letters should not be known; riches, poverty,

And use of service, none; contract, succession,

Bourn, bound of land, tilth, vineyard, none;

No use of metal, corn, or wine, or oil;  160

No occupation; all men idle, all;

And women too, but innocent and pure;

No sovereignty,—

Seb.

Yet he would be king on’t.

Ant.

The latter end of his commonwealth forgets the beginning.  165

Gon.

All things in common nature should produce

Without sweat or endeavour: treason, felony,

Sword, pike, knife, gun, or need of any engine,

Would I not have; but nature should bring forth,  169

Of its own kind, all foison, all abundance,

To feed my innocent people.

Seb.

No marrying ’mong his subjects?  172

Ant.

None, man; all idle; whores and knaves.

Gon.

I would with such perfection govern, sir,

To excel the golden age

Seb.

Save his majesty!

Ant.

Long live Gonzalo!

Gon.

And,—do you mark me, sir?  176

Alon.

Prithee, no more: thou dost talk nothing to me.

Gon.

I do well believe your highness; and did it to minister occasion to these gentlemen, who are of such sensible and nimble lungs that they always use to laugh at nothing.

Ant.

’Twas you we laugh’d at.  183

Gon.

Who in this kind of merry fooling am nothing to you; so you may continue and laugh at nothing still.

Ant.

What a blow was there given!

Seb.

An it had not fallen flat-long.  188

Gon.

You are gentlemen of brave mettle: you would lift the moon out of her sphere, if she would continue in it five weeks without changing.  192

Enter Ariel, invisible, playing solemn music.

Seb.

We would so, and then go a-bat-fowling.

Ant.

Nay, good my lord, be not angry.

Gon.

No, I warrant you; I will not adventure my discretion so weakly. Will you laugh me asleep, for I am very heavy?  197

Ant.

Go sleep, and hear us.

[All sleep but Alon., Seb., and Ant.

Alon.

What! all so soon asleep! I wish mine eyes

Would, with themselves, shut up my thoughts: I find  200

They are inclin’d to do so.

Seb.

Please you, sir,

Do not omit the heavy offer of it:

It seldom visits sorrow; when it doth

It is a comforter.

Ant.

We two, my lord,  204

Will guard your person while you take your rest,

And watch your safety.

Alon.

Thank you. Wondrous heavy.

[Alonson sleeps. Exit Ariel.

Seb.

What a strange drowsiness possesses them!

Ant.

It is the quality o’ the climate.

Seb.

Why  208

Doth it not then our eyelids sink? I find not

Myself dispos’d to sleep.

Ant.

Nor I: my spirits are nimble.

They fell together all, as by consent;

They dropp’d, as by a thunder-stroke. What might,  212

Worthy Sebastian? O! what might?—No more:—

And yet methinks I see it in thy face,

What thou should’st be. The occasion speaks thee; and

My strong imagination sees a crown  216

Dropping upon thy head.

Seb.

What! art thou waking?

Ant.

Do you not hear me speak?

Seb.

I do; and surely,

It is a sleepy language, and thou speak’st

Out of thy sleep. What is it thou didst say?  220

This is a strange repose, to be asleep

With eyes wide open; standing, speaking, moving,

And yet so fast asleep.

Ant.

Noble Sebastian,  223

Thou let’st thy fortune sleep—die rather; wink’st

Whiles thou art waking.

Seb.

Thou dost snore distinctly:

There’s meaning in thy snores.

Ant.

I am more serious than my custom: you

Must be so too, if heed me; which to do  228

Trebles thee o’er.

Seb.

Well; I am standing water.

Ant.

I’ll teach you how to flow.

Seb.

Do so: to ebb,

Hereditary sloth instructs me.

Ant.

O!  231

If you but knew how you the purpose cherish

Whiles thus you mock it! how, in stripping it,

You more invest it! Ebbing men, indeed,

Most often do so near the bottom run

By their own fear or sloth.

Seb.

Prithee, say on:  236

The setting of thine eye and cheek proclaim

A matter from thee, and a birth indeed

Which throes thee much to yield.

Ant.

Thus, sir:

Although this lord of weak remembrance, this

Who shall be of as little memory  241

When he is earth’d, hath here almost persuaded,—

For he’s a spirit of persuasion, only

Professes to persuade,—the king, his son’s alive,

’Tis as impossible that he’s undrown’d  245

As he that sleeps here swims.

Seb.

I have no hope

That he’s undrown’d.

Ant.

O! out of that ‘no hope

What great hope have you! no hope that way is

Another way so high a hope that even  249

Ambition cannot pierce a wink beyond,

But doubts discovery there. Will you grant with me

That Ferdinand is drown’d?

Seb.

He’s gone.

Ant.

Then tell me  252

Who’s the next heir of Naples?

Seb.

Claribel.

Ant.

She that is Queen of Tums; she that dwells

Ten leagues beyond man’s life; she that from Naples

Can have no note, unless the sun were post—  256

The man i’ th’ moon’s too slow—till new-born chins

Be rough and razorable: she that, from whom?

We all were sea-swallow’d, though some cast again,

And by that destiny to perform an act  260

Whereof what’s past is prologue, what to come

In yours and my discharge.

Seb.

What stuff is this!—How say you?

’Tis true my brother’s daughter’s Queen of Tunis;

So is she heir of Naples; ’twixt which regions

There is some space.

Ant.

A space whose every cubit

Seems to cry out, ‘How shall that Claribel  266

Measure us back to Naples?—Keep in Tunis,

And let Sebastian wake!’—Say, this were death

That now hath seiz’d them; why, they were no worse

Than now they are. There be that can rule Naples

As well as he that sleeps; lords that can prate

As amply and unnecessarily  272

As this Gonzalo; I myself could make

A chough of as deep chat. O, that you bore

The mind that I do! what a sleep were this

For your advancement! Do you understand me?

Seb.

Methinks I do.

Ant.

And how does your content

Tender your own good fortune?

Seb.

I remember  278

You did supplant your brother Prospero.

Ant.

True:

And look how well my garments sit upon me;

Much feater than before; my brother’s servants

Were then my fellows; now they are my men.

Seb.

But, for your conscience,—  283

Ant.

Ay, sir; where lies that? if it were a kibe,

’Twould put me to my slipper; but I feel not

This deity in my bosom: twenty consciences,

That stand ’twixt me and Milan, candied be they,

And melt ere they molest! Here lies your brother,  288

No better than the earth he lies upon,

If he were that which now he’s like, that’s dead;

Whom I, with this obedient steel,—three inches of it,—

Can lay to bed for ever; whiles you, doing thus,

To the perpetual wink for aye might put  293

This ancient morsel, this Sir Prudence, who

Should not upbraid our course. For all the rest,

They’ll take suggestion as a cat laps milk;  296

They’ll tell the clock to any business that

We say befits the hour.

Seb.

Thy case, dear friend,

Shall be my precedent: as thou got’st Milan,

I’ll come by Naples. Draw thy sword: one stroke

Shall free thee from the tribute which thou pay’st,

And I the king shall love thee.

Ant.

Draw together;

And when I rear my hand, do you the like,  303

To fall it on Gonzalo.

Seb.

O! but one word.

[They converse apart.

Music. Re-enter Ariel, invisible.

Ari.

My master through his art foresees the danger

That you, his friend, are in; and sends me forth—

For else his project dies—to keep thee living.

[Sings in Gonzalo’s ear.

While you here do snoring lie,  308

Open-ey’d Conspiracy

His time doth take.

If of life you keep a care,

Shake off slumber, and beware  312

Awake! awake!

Ant.

Then let us both be sudden.

Gon.

Now, good angels

Preserve the king!

[They wake.

Alon.

Why, how now! ho, awake! Why are you drawn?  316

Wherefore this ghastly looking?

Gon.

What’s the matter?

Seb.

Whiles we stood here securing your repose,

Even now, we heard a hollow burst of bellowing

Like bulls, or rather hons; did’t not wake you?

It struck mine ear most terribly.

Alon.

I heard nothing.

Ant.

O! ’twas a din to fright a monster’s ear,

To make an earthquake: sure it was the roar

Of a whole herd of lions.

Alon.

Heard you this, Gonzalo?  324

Gon.

Upon mine honour, sir, I heard a humming,

And that a strange one too, which did awake me.

I shak’d you, sir, and cry’d; as mine eyes open’d,

I saw their weapons drawn:—there was a noise,

That’s verily. ’Tis best we stand upon our guard,

Or that we quit this place: let’s draw our weapons.

Alon.

Lead off this ground, and let’s make further search

For my poor son.  332

Gon.

Heavens keep him from these beasts!

For he is, sure, i’ the island.

Alon.

Lead away.

[Exit with the others.

Ari.

Prospero my lord shall know what I have done:

So, king, go safely on to seek thy son.

[Exit.

Scene II.— Another Part of the Island.

Enter Caliban, with a burden of wood. A noise of thunder heard.

Cal.

All the infections that the sun sucks up

From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall, and make him

By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me,

And yet I needs must curse. But they’ll nor pinch,  4

Fright me with urchin-shows, pitch me i’ the mire,

Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark

Out of my way, unless he bid ’em; but

For every trifle are they set upon me:  8

Sometime like apes, that mow and chatter at me

And after bite me; then like hedge-hogs, which

Lie tumbling in my bare-foot way and mount

Their pricks at my foot-fall; sometime am I  12

All wound with adders, who with cloven tongues

Do hiss me into madness.—

Enter Trinculo.

Lo now! lo!

Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me

For bringing wood in slowly: I’ll fall flat;  16

Perchance he will not mind me.

Trin.

Here’s neither bush nor shrub to bear off any weather at all, and another storm brewing; I hear it sing i’ the wind: yond same black cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul bombard that would shed his liquor. If it should thunder as it did before, I know not where to hide my head: yond same cloud cannot choose but fall by pailfuls.—What have we here? a man or a fish? Dead or alive? A fish: he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-like smell; a kind of not of the newest Poor-John. A strange fish! Were I in England now,—as once I was,—and had but this fish painted, not a holiday fool there but would give a piece of silver: there would this monster make a man; any strange beast there makes a man. When they will not give a doit to relieve a lame beggar, they will lay out ten to see a dead Indian. Legg’d like a man! and his fins like arms! Warm, o’ my troth! I do now let loose my opinion, hold it no longer; this is no fish, but an islander, that hath lately suffered by a thunderbolt. [Thunder.] Alas! the storm is come again: my best way is to creep under his gaberdine; there is no other shelter hereabout: misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows. I will here shroud till the dregs of the storm be past.  44

Enter Stephano, singing; a bottle in his hand.

Ste.

I shall no more to sea, to sea,

Here shall I die a-shore:—

This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man’s funeral:

Well, here’s my comfort.

[Drinks.

The master, the swabber, the boatswain and I,  49

The gunner and his mate,

Lov’d Mall, Meg, and Marian and Margery,

But none of us car’d for Kate;  52

For she had a tongue with a tang,

Would cry to a sailor, ‘Go hang!’

She lov’d not the savour of tar nor of pitch,

Yet a tailor might scratch her where-e’er she did itch:

Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang.  57

This is a scurvy tune too: but here’s my comfort.

[Drinks.

Cal.

Do not torment me: O!

Ste.

What’s the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put tricks upon us with savages and men of Ind? Ha! I have not ’scaped drowning, to be afeard now of your four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground: and it shall be said so again while Stephano breathes at’s nostrils.

Cal.

The spirit torments me: O!  68

Ste.

This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the devil should he learn our language? I will give him some relief, if it be but for that: if I can recover him and keep him tame and get to Naples with him, he’s a present for any emperor that ever trod on neat’s-leather.  75

Cal.

Do not torment me, prithee: I’ll bring my wood home faster.

Ste.

He’s in his fit now and does not talk after the wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have never drunk wine afore it will go near to remove his fit. If I can recover him, and keep him tame, I will not take too much for him: he shall pay for him that hath him, and that soundly.  84

Cal.

Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I know it by thy trembling: now Prosper works upon thee.  87

Ste.

Come on your ways: open your mouth; here is that which will give language to you, cat. Open your mouth: this will shake your shaking, I can tell you, and that soundly [gives Caliban drink]: you cannot tell who’s your friend; open your chaps again.

Trin.

I should know that voice: it should be—but he is drowned, and these are devils. O! defend me.  96

Ste.

Four legs and two voices; a most delicate monster! His forward voice now is to speak well of his friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches, and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will recover him, I will help his ague. Come. Amen! I will pour some in thy other mouth.

Trin.

Stephano!  104

Ste.

Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy! mercy! This is a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I have no long spoon.

Trin.

Stephano!—if thou beest Stephano, touch me, and speak to me; for I am Trinculo:—be not afeard—thy good friend Trinculo.  110

Ste.

If thou beest Trinculo, come forth. I’ll pull thee by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo’s legs, these are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How cam’st thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? Can he vent Trinculos?  115

Trin.

I took him to be killed with a thunderstroke. But art thou not drowned, Stephano? I hope now thou art not drowned. Is the storm overblown? I hid me under the dead mooncalf’s gaberdine for fear of the storm. And art thou living, Stephano? O Stephano! two Neapolitans ’scaped!  122

Ste.

Prithee, do not turn me about: my stomach is not constant.

Cal.

[Aside.] These be fine things an if they be not sprites.

That’s a brave god and bears celestial liquor:

I will kneel to him.  127

Ste.

How didst thou ’scape? How cam’st thou hither? swear by this bottle, how thou cam’st hither. I escaped upon a butt of sack, which the sailors heaved overboard, by this bottle! which I made of the bark of a tree with mine own hands, since I was cast ashore.  133

Cal.

I’ll swear upon that bottle, to be thy true subject; for the liquor is not earthly.

Ste.

Here: swear then, how thou escapedst.

Trin.

Swam ashore, man, like a duck: I can swim like a duck, I’ll be sworn.  138

Ste.

Here, kiss the book [gives Trinculo drink]. Though thou canst swim like a duck, thou art made like a goose.  141

Trin.

O Stephano! hast any more of this?

Ste.

The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by the seaside, where my wine is hid. How now, moon-calf! how does thine ague?  146

Cal.

Hast thou not dropped from heaven?

Ste.

Out o the moon, I do assure thee: I was the man in the moon, when time was.

Cal.

I have seen thee in her, and I do adore thee; my mistress showed me thee, and thy dog, and thy bush.  152

Ste.

Come, swear to that; kiss the book; I will furnish it anon with new contents; swear.

Trin.

By this good light, this is a very shallow monster.—I afeard of him!—a very weak monster.—The man i’ the moon! a most poor credulous monster!—Well drawn, monster, in good sooth.

Cal.

I’ll show thee every fertile inch o’ the island;  160

And I will kiss thy foot. I prithee, be my god.

Trin.

By this light, a most perfidious and drunken monster: when his god’s asleep, he’ll rob his bottle.  164

Cal.

I’ll kiss thy foot: I’ll swear myself thy subject.

Ste.

Come on then; down, and swear.

Trin.

I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my heart to beat him,—  169

Ste.

Come, kiss.

Trin.

But that the poor monster’s in drink: an abominable monster!  172

Cal.

I’ll shew thee the best springs; I’ll pluck thee berries;

I’ll fish for thee, and get thee wood enough.

A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!

I’ll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,

Thou wondrous man.  177

Trin.

A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a poor drunkard!

Cal.

I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow;  180

And I with my long nails will dig thee pig-nuts;

Show thee a jay’s nest and instruct thee how

To snare the nimble marmozet; I’ll bring thee

To clust’ring filberts, and sometimes I’ll get thee

Young scamels from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?  185

Ste.

I prithee now, lead the way, without any more talking.—Trinculo, the king and all our company else being drowned, we will inherit here.—Here; bear my bottle.—Fellow Trinculo, we’ll fill him by and by again.  190

Cal.

Farewell, master; farewell, farewell

[Sings drunkenly.

Trin.

A howling monster, a drunken monster.

Cal.

No more dams I’ll make for fish,

Nor fetch in firing

At requiring,

Nor scrape trenchering, nor wash dish,  196

’Ban, ’Ban, Ca—Caliban,

Has a new master—Get a new man.

Freedom, high-day! high-day, freedom! freedom! high-day, freedom!  200

Ste.

O brave monster! lead the way.

[Exeunt.

ACT III.

Scene I.— Before Prospero’s Cell.

Enter Ferdinand, bearing a log.

Fer.

There be some sports are painful, and their labour

Delight in them sets off: some kinds of baseness

Are nobly undergone, and most poor matters

Point to rich ends. This my mean task  4

Would be as heavy to me as odious; but

The mistress which I serve quickens what’s dead

And makes my labours pleasures: O! she is  7

Ten times more gentle than her father’s crabbed,

And he’s compos’d of harshness. I must remove

Some thousands of these logs and pile them up,

Upon a sore injunction: my sweet mistress

Weeps when she sees me work, and says such baseness  12

Had never like executor. I forget:

But these sweet thoughts do even refresh my labours,

Most busiest when I do it.

Enter Miranda; and Prospero behind.

Mira.

Alas! now, pray you,

Work not so hard: I would the lightning had  16

Burnt up those logs that you are enjoin’d to pile!

Pray, set it down and rest you: when this burns,

’Twill weep for having wearied you. My father

Is hard at study; pray now, rest yourself:  20

He’s safe for these three hours.

Fer.

O most dear mistress,

The sun will set, before I shall discharge

What I must strive to do.

Mira.

If you’ll sit down,

I’ll bear your logs the while. Pray, give me that;  24

I’ll carry it to the pile.

Fer.

No, precious creature:

I had rather crack my sinews, break my back,

Than you should such dishonour undergo,

While I sit lazy by.

Mira.

It would become me  28

As well as it does you: and I should do it

With much more ease; for my good will is to it,

And yours it is against.

Pro.

[Aside.] Poor worm! thou art infected:

This visitation shows it.

Mira.

You look wearily.  32

Fer.

No, noble mistress; ’tis fresh morning with me

When you are by at night. I do beseech you—

Chiefly that I might set it in my prayers—

What is your name?

Mira.

Miranda.—O my father!  36

I have broke your hest to say so.

Fer.

Admir’d Miranda!

Indeed, the top of admiration; worth

What’s dearest to the world! Full many a lady

I have ey’d with best regard, and many a time  40

The harmony of their tongues hath into bondage

Brought my too diligent ear: for several virtues

Have I lik’d several women; never any

With so full soul but some defect in her  44

Did quarrel with the noblest grace she ow’d,

And put it to the foil: but you, O you!

So perfect and so peerless, are created

Of every creature’s best.

Mira.

I do not know  48

One of my sex; no woman’s face remember,

Save, from my glass, mine own; nor have I seen

More that I may call men than you, good friend,

And my dear father: how features are abroad,  52

I am skill-less of; but, by my modesty,—

The jewel in my dower,—I would not wish

Any companion in the world but you;

Nor can imagination form a shape,  56

Besides yourself, to like of. But I prattle

Something too wildly and my father’s precepts

I therein do forget.

Fer.

I am in my condition

A prince, Miranda; I do think, a king;—  60

I would not so!—and would no more endure

This wooden slavery than to suffer

The flesh-fly blow my mouth.—Hear my soul speak:—

The very instant that I saw you did  64

My heart fly to your service; there resides,

To make me slave to it; and for your sake

Am I this patient log-man.

Mira.

Do you love me?

Fer.

O heaven! O earth! bear witness to this sound,  68

And crown what I profess with kind event

If I speak true: if hollowly, invert

What best is boded me to mischief! I,

Beyond all limit of what else i’ the world,  72

Do love, prize, honour you.

Mira.

I am a fool

To weep at what I am glad of.

Pro.

[Aside.] Fair encounter

Of two most rare affections! Heavens rain grace

On that which breeds between them!

Fer.

Wherefore weep you?  76

Mira.

At mine unworthiness, that dare not offer

What I desire to give; and much less take

What I shall die to want. But this is trifling;

And all the more it seeks to hide itself  80

The bigger bulk it shows. Hence, bashful cunning!

And prompt me, plain and holy innocence!

I am your wife, if you will marry me;

If not, I’ll die your maid: to be your fellow  84

You may deny me; but I’ll be your servant

Whether you will or no.

Fer.

My mistress, dearest;

And I thus humble ever.

Mira.

My husband then?

Fer.

Ay, with a heart as willing  88

As bondage e’er of freedom: here’s my hand.

Mira.

And mine, with my heart in’t: and now farewell

Till half an hour hence.

Fer.

A thousand thousand!

[Exeunt Fer. and Mir. severally.

Pro.

So glad of this as they, I cannot be,  92

Who are surpris’d withal; but my rejoicing

At nothing can be more. I’ll to my book;

For yet, ere supper time, must I perform

Much business appertaining.

[Exit.

Scene II.— Another Part of the Island

Enter Caliban, with a bottle, Stephano, and Trinculo.

Ste.

Tell not me:—when the butt is out, we will drink water; not a drop before: therefore bear up, and board ’em.—Servant-monster, drink to me.  4

Trin.

Servant-monster! the folly of this island! They say there’s but five upon this isle: we are three of them; if th’ other two be brained like us, the state totters.  8

Ste.

Drink, servant-monster, when I bid thee: thy eyes are almost set in thy head.

Trin.

Where should they be set else? he were a brave monster indeed, if they were set in his tail.  13

Ste.

My man-monster hath drowned his tongue in sack: for my part, the sea cannot drown me; I swam, ere I could recover the shore, five-and-thirty leagues, off and on, by this light. Thou shalt be my lieutenant, monster, or my standard.  19

Trin.

Your lieutenant, if you list; he’s no standard.

Ste.

We’ll not run, Monsieur monster.

Trin.

Nor go neither: but you’ll lie, like dogs; and yet say nothing neither.  24

Ste.

Moon-calf, speak once in thy life, if thou beest a good moon-calf.

Cal.

How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe. I’ll not serve him, he is not valiant.  28

Trin.

Thou hest, most ignorant monster: I am in case to justle a constable. Why, thou deboshed fish thou, was there ever a man a coward that hath drunk so much sack as I to-day? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie, being but half a fish and half a monster?

Cal.

Lo, how he mocks me! wilt thou let him, my lord?  36

Trin.

‘Lord’ quoth he!—that a monster should be such a natural!

Cal.

Lo, lo, again! bite him to death, I prithee.  40

Ste.

Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head: if you prove a mutineer, the next tree! The poor monster’s my subject, and he shall not suffer indignity.  44

Cal.

I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleas’d

To hearken once again the suit I made thee?

Ste.

Marry, will I; kneel, and repeat it: I will stand, and so shall Trinculo.  48

Enter Ariel, invisible.

Cal.

As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant, a sorcerer, that by his cunning hath cheated me of the island.

Ari.

Thou liest.  52

Cal.

Thou liest, thou jesting monkey thou;

I would my valiant master would destroy thee;

I do not lie.

Ste.

Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in his tale, by this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.  58

Trin.

Why, I said nothing.

Ste.

Mum then and no more.—[To Caliban.] Proceed.

Cal.

I say, by sorcery he got this isle;

From me he got it: if thy greatness will,

Revenge it on him,—for, I know, thou dar’st;

But this thing dare not,—  65

Ste.

That’s most certain.

Cal.

Thou shalt be lord of it and I’ll serve thee.

Ste.

How now shall this be compassed? Canst thou bring me to the party?  69

Cal.

Yea, yea, my lord: I’ll yield him thee asleep,

Where thou may’st knock a nail into his head.

Ari.

Thou liest; thou canst not.  72

Cal.

What a pied ninny’s this! Thou scurvy patch!—

I do beseech thy greatness, give him blows,

And take his bottle from him: when that’s gone

He shall drink nought but brine; for I’ll not show him  76

Where the quick freshes are.

Ste.

Trinculo, run into no further danger: interrupt the monster one word further, and, by this hand, I’ll turn my mercy out o’ doors and make a stock-fish of thee.  81

Trin.

Why, what did I? I did nothing. I’ll go further off.

Ste.

Didst thou not say he hed?  84

Ari.

Thou liest.

Ste.

Do I so? take thou that. [Strikes Trin.]

As you like this, give me the lie another time.

Trin.

I did not give thee the he:—Out o’ your wits and hearing too?—A pox o’ your bottle! this can sack and drinking do.—A murrain on your monster, and the devil take your fingers!  92

Cal.

Ha, ha, ha!

Ste.

Now, forward with your tale.—Prithee stand further off.

Cal.

Beat him enough: after a little time  96

I’ll beat him too.

Ste.

Stand further.—Come, proceed.

Cal.

Why, as I told thee, ’tis a custom with him

I’ the afternoon to sleep: there thou may’st brain him,

Having first seiz’d his books; or with a log  100

Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,

Or cut his wezand with thy knife. Remember

First to possess his books; for without them

He’s but a sot, as I am, nor hath not  104

One spirit to command: they all do hate him

As rootedly as I. Burn but his books;

He has brave utensils,—for so he calls them,—

Which, when he has a house, he’ll deck withal:

And that most deeply to consider is  109

The beauty of his daughter; he himself

Calls her a nonpareil: I never saw a woman,

But only Sycorax my dam and she;  112

But she as far surpasseth Sycorax

As great’st does least.

Ste.

Is it so brave a lass?

Cal.

Ay, lord; she will become thy bed, I warrant,

And bring thee forth brave brood.  116

Ste.

Monster, I will kill this man: his daughter and I will be king and queen,—save our graces! and Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys. Dost thou like the plot, Trinculo?  120

Trin.

Excellent.

Ste.

Give me thy hand: I am sorry I beat thee; but, while thou livest, keep a good tongue in thy head.  124

Cal.

Within this half hour will he be asleep;

Wilt thou destroy him then?

Ste.

Ay, on mine honour.

Ari.

This will I tell my master.

Cal.

Thou mak’st me merry: I am full of pleasure.  128

Let us be jocund: will you troll the catch

You taught me but while-ere?

Ste.

At thy request, monster, I will do reason, any reason: Come on, Trinculo, let us sing.  132

[Sings.

Flout ’em, and scout ’em; and scout ’em, and flout ’em;

Thought is free.

Cal.

That’s not the tune.

[Ariel plays the tune on a Tabor and Pipe.

Ste.

What is this same?  136

Trin.

This is the tune of our catch, played by the picture of Nobody.

Ste.

If thou beest a man, show thyself in thy likeness: if thou beest a devil, take’t as thou list.  141

Trin.

O, forgive me my sins!

Ste.

He that dies pays all debts: I defy thee.—Mercy upon us!  144

Cal.

Art thou afeard?

Ste.

No, monster, not I.

Cal.

Be not afeard: the isle is full of noises,

Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight, and hurt not.  148

Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments

Will hum about mine ears; and sometime voices,

That, if I then had wak’d after long sleep,

Will make mesleep again: and then, in dreaming,

The clouds methought would open and show riches  153

Ready to drop upon me; that, when I wak’d

I cried to dream again.

Ste.

This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where I shall have my music for nothing.

Cal.

When Prospero is destroyed.

Ste.

That shall be by and by: I remember the story.  160

Trin.

The sound is going away: let’s follow it, and after do our work.

Ste.

Lead, monster; we’ll follow.—I would I could see this taborer! he lays it on. Wilt come?

Trin.

I’ll follow, Stephano.

[Exeunt.

Scene III.— Another Part of the Island.

Enter Alonso, Sebastian, Antonio, Gonzalo, Adrian, Francisco, and others.

Gon.

By’r lakin, I can go no further, sir;

My old bones ache: here’s a maze trod indeed,

Through forth-rights, and meanders! by your patience,

I needs must rest me.

Alon.

Old lord, I cannot blame thee,  4

Who am myself attach’d with weariness,

To the dulling of my spirits: sit down, and rest.

Even here I will put off my hope, and keep it

No longer for my flatterer: he is drown’d  8

Whom thus we stray to find; and the sea mocks

Our frustrate search on land. Well, let him go.

Ant.

[Aside to Seb.] I am right glad that he’s so out of hope.

Do not, for one repulse, forego the purpose  12

That you resolv’d to effect.

Seb.

[Aside to Ant.] The next advantage

Will we take throughly.

Ant.

[Aside to Seb.] Let it be to-night;

For, now they are oppress’d with travel, they

Will not, nor cannot, use such vigilance  16

As when they are fresh.

Seb.

[Aside to Ant.] I say to-night: no more.

Solemn and strange music; and Prospero above, invisible. Enter below several strange Shapes, bringing in a banquet: they dance about it with gentle actions of salutation; and, inviting the King, &c., to eat, they depart.

Alon.

What harmony is this? my good friends, hark!

Gon.

Marvellous sweet music!

Alon.

Give us kind keepers, heavens! What were these?  20

Seb.

A living drollery. Now I will believe

That there are unicorns; that in Arabia

There is one tree, the phœnix’ throne; one phœnix

At this hour reigning there.

Ant.

I’ll believe both;  24

And what does else want credit, come to me,

And I’ll be sworn ’tis true: travellers ne’er did lie,

Though fools at home condemn them.

Gon.

If in Naples

I should report this now, would they believe me?

If I should say I saw such islanders,—  29

For, certes, these are people of the island,—

Who, though they are of monstrous shape, yet, note,

Their manners are more gentle-kind than of  32

Our human generation you shall find

Many, nay, almost any.

Pro.

[Aside.] Honest lord,

Thou hast said well; for some of you there present

Are worse than devils.

Alon.

I cannot too much muse,  36

Such shapes, such gesture, and such sound, expressing,—

Although they want the use of tongue,—a kind

Of excellent dumb discourse.

Pro.

[Aside.] Praise in departing.

Fran.

They vanish’d strangely.

Seb.

No matter, since  40

They have left their viands behind; for we have stomachs.—

Will’t please you to taste of what is here?

Alon.

Not I.

Gon.

Faith, sir, you need not fear. When we were boys,

Who would believe that there were mountaineers  44

Dew-lapp’d like bulls, whose throats had hanging at them

Wallets of flesh? or that there were such men

Whose heads stood in their breasts? which now we find

Each putter-out of five for one will bring us  48

Good warrant of.

Alon.

I will stand to and feed,

Although my last; no matter, since I feel

The best is past.—Brother, my lord the duke,

Stand to and do as we.  52

Thunder and lightning. Enter Ariel like a harpy; claps his wings upon the table; and, with a quaint device, the banquet vanishes.

Ari.

You are three men of sin, whom Destiny—

That hath to instrument this lower world

And what is in’t,—the never-surfeited sea  55

Hath caused to belch up you; and on this island

Where man doth not inhabit; you ’mongst men

Being most unfit to live. I have made you mad;

[Seeing Alon., Seb., &c., draw their swords.

And even with such-like valour men hang and drown

Their proper selves. You fools! I and my fellows  60

Are ministers of fate: the elements

Of whom your swords are temper’d, may as well

Wound the loud winds, or with bemock’d-at stabs

Kill the still-closing waters, as diminish  64

One dowle that’s in my plume; my fellow-ministers

Are like invulnerable. If you could hurt,

Your swords are now too massy for your strengths,

And will not be uplifted. But, remember,—  68

For that’s my business to you,—that you three

From Milan did supplant good Prospero;

Expos’d unto the sea, which hath requit it,

Him and his innocent child: for which foul deed  72

The powers, delaying, not forgetting, have

Incens’d the seas and shores, yea, all the creatures,

Against your peace. Thee of thy son, Alonso,

They have bereft; and do pronounce, by me,  76

Lingering perdition,—worse than any death

Can be at once,—shall step by step attend

You and your ways; whose wraths to guard you from—  79

Which here in this most desolate isle, else falls

Upon your heads,—is nothing but heart-sorrow

And a clear life ensuing.

He vanishes in thunder; then, to soft music, enter the Shapes again, and dance with mocks and mows, and carry out the table.

Pro.

[Aside.] Bravely the figure of this harpy hast thou

Perform’d, my Ariel; a grace it had, devouring:

Of my instruction hast thou nothing bated  85

In what thou hadst to say: so, with good life

And observation strange, my meaner ministers

Their several kinds have done. My high charms work,  88

And these mine enemies are all knit up

In their distractions: they now are in my power;

And in these fits I leave them, while I visit

Young Ferdinand,—whom they suppose is drown’d,—  92

And his and mine lov’d darling.

[Exit above.

Gon.

I the name of something holy, sir, why stand you

In this strange stare?

Alon.

O, it is monstrous! monstrous!

Methought the billows spoke and told me of it;

The winds did sing it to me; and the thunder,

That deep and dreadful organ-pipe, pronounc’d

The name of Prosper: it did bass my trespass.

Therefore my son i’ th’ ooze is bedded; and  100

I’ll seek him deeper than e’er plummet sounded,

And with him there lie mudded.

[Exit.

Seb.

But one fiend at a time,

I’ll fight their legions o’er.

Ant.

I’ll be thy second.

[Exeunt Seb. and Ant.

Gon.

All three of them are desperate; their great guilt,  104

Like poison given to work a great time after,

Now ’gins to bite the spirits.—I do beseech you

That are of suppler joints, follow them swiftly

And hinder them from what this ecstasy  108

May now provoke them to.

Adr.

Follow, I pray you.

[Exeunt.

ACT IV.

Scene I.— Before Prospero’s Cell.

Enter Prospero, Ferdinand, and Miranda.

Pro.

If I have too austerely punish’d you,

Your compensation makes amends; for I

Have given you here a third of mine own life,

Or that for which I live; whom once again  4

I tender to thy hand: all thy vexations

Were but my trials of thy love, and thou

Hast strangely stood the test: here, afore Heaven,

I ratify this my rich gift. O Ferdinand!  8

Do not smile at me that I boast her off,

For thou shalt find she will outstrip all praise,

And make it halt behind her.

Fer.

I do believe it

Against an oracle.  12

Pro.

Then, as my gift and thine own acquisition

Worthily purchas’d, take my daughter: but

If thou dost break her virgin knot before

All sanctimonious ceremonies may  16

With full and holy rite be minister’d,

No sweet aspersion shall the heavens let fall

To make this contract grow; but barren hate,

Sour-ey’d disdain and discord shall bestrew  20

The union of your bed with weeds so loathly

That you shall hate it both: therefore take heed,

As Hymen’s lamps shall light you.

Fer.

As I hope

For quiet days, fair issue and long life,  24

With such love as ’tis now, the murkiest den,

The most opportune place, the strong’st sug gestion

Our worser genius can, shall never melt

Mine honour into lust, to take away  28

The edge of that day’s celebration

When I shall think, or Phœbus’ steeds are founder’d,

Or Night kept chain’d below.

Pro.

Fairly spoke:

Sit then, and talk with her, she is thine own.

What, Ariell my industrious servant Ariell  33

Enter Ariel.

Ari.

What would my potent master? here I am.

Pro.

Thou and thy meaner fellows your last service

Did worthily perform; and I must use you  36

In such another trick. Go bring the rabble,

O’er whom I give thee power, here to this place:

Incite them to quick motion; for I must

Bestow upon the eyes of this young couple  40

Some vanity of mine art: it is my promise,

And they expect it from me.

Ari.

Presently?

Pro.

Ay, with a twink.

Ari.

Before you can say, ‘Come,’ and ‘Go,’  44

And breathe twice; and cry, ‘so, so,’

Each one, tripping on his toe,

Will be here with mop and mow.

Do you love me, master? no?  48

Pro.

Dearly my delicate Ariel. Do not approach

Till thou dost hear me call.

Ari.

Well, I conceive.

[Exit.

Pro.

Look, thou be true; do not give dalliance

Too much the rein: the strongest oaths are straw  52

To the fire i’ the blood: be more abstemious,

Or else good night your vow!

Fer.

I warrant you, sir;

The white-cold virgin snow upon my heart

Abates the ardour of my liver.

Pro.

Well.—  56

Now come, my Ariel! bring a corollary,

Rather than want a spirit: appear, and pertly.

No tongue! all eyes! be silent.

[Soft music.

A Masque. Enter Iris.

Iris.

Ceres, most bounteous lady, thy rich leas  60

Of wheat, rye, barley, vetches, oats, and peas;

Thy turfy mountains, where live nibbling sheep,

And flat meads thatch’d with stover, them to keep;

Thy banks with pioned and twilled brims,  64

Which spongy April at thy hest betrims,

To make cold nymphs chaste crowns; and thy broom groves,

Whose shadow the dismissed bachelor loves,

Being lass-lorn; thy pole-clipt vineyard;  68

And thy sea-marge, sterile and rocky-hard,

Where thou thyself dost air: the queen o’ the sky,

Whose watery arch and messenger am I,

Bids thee leave these; and with her sovereign grace,  72

Here on this grass-plot, in this very place,

To come and sport; her peacocks fly amain:

Approach, rich Ceres, her to entertain.

Enter Ceres.

Cer.

Hail, many-colour’d messenger, that ne’er  76

Dost disobey the wife of Jupiter;

Who with thy saffron wings upon my flowers

Diffusest honey-drops, refreshing showers:

And with each end of thy blue bow dost crown

My bosky acres, and my unshrubb’d down,  81

Rich scarf to my proud earth; why hath thy queen

Summon’d me hither, to this short-grass’d green?

Iris.

A contract of true love to celebrate,  84

And some donation freely to estate

On the bless’d lovers.

Cer.

Tell me, heavenly bow,

If Venus or her son, as thou dost know,

Do now attend the queen? since they did plot

The means that dusky Dis my daughter got,  89

Her and her blind boy’s scandal’d company

I have forsworn.

Iris.

Of her society

Be not afraid; I met her deity  92

Cutting the clouds towards Paphos and her son

Dove-drawn with her. Here thought they to have done

Some wanton charm upon this man and maid,

Whose vows are, that no bed-rite shall be paid

Till Hymen’s torch be lighted; but in vain:  97

Mars’s hot minion is return’d again;

Her waspish-headed son has broke his arrows,

Swears he will shoot no more, but play with sparrows,  100

And be a boy right out.

Cer.

Highest queen of state,

Great Juno comes; I know her by her gait.

Enter Juno.

Jun.

How does my bounteous sister? Go with me

To bless this twain, that they may prosperous be,  104

And honour’d in their issue.

SONG.

Jun.

Honour, riches, marriage-blessing,

Long continuance, and increasing,

Hourly joys be still upon you!  108

Juno sings her blessings on you.

Cer.

Earth’s increase, foison plenty,

Barns and garners never empty:

Vines, with clust’ring bunches growing;  112

Plants with goodly burden bowing;

Spring come to you at the farthest

In the very end of harvest!

Scarcity and want shall shun you;  116

Ceres’ blessing so is on you.

Fer.

This is a most majestic vision, and

Harmonious charmingly: May I be bold

To think these spirits?

Pro.

Spirits, which by mine art  120

I have from their confines call’d to enact

My present fancies.

Fer.

Let me live here ever:

So rare a wonder’d father and a wise,

Makes this place Paradise.

[Juno and Ceres whisper, and send Iris on employment.

Pro.

Sweet, now, silence!  124

Juno and Ceres whisper seriously,

There’s something else to do: hush, and be mute,

Or else our spell is marr’d.

Iris.

You nymphs, call’d Naiades, of the windring brooks,  128

With your sedg’d crowns, and ever-harmless looks,

Leave your crisp channels, and on this green land

Answer your summons: Juno does command.

Come, temperate nymphs, and help to celebrate

A contract of true love: be not too late.  133

Enter certain Nymphs.

You sun-burn’d sicklemen, of August weary,

Come hither from the furrow, and be merry:

Make holiday: your rye-straw hats put on,  136

And these fresh nymphs encounter every one

In country footing.

Enter certain Reapers, properly habited: they join with the Nymphs in a graceful dance; towards the end whereof Prospero starts suddenly, and speaks; after which, to a strange, hollow, and confused noise, they heavily vanish.

Pro.

[Aside.] I had forgot that foul conspiracy

Of the beast Caliban, and his confederates  140

Against my life: the minute of their plot

Is almost come.—[To the Spirits.] Well done! avoid; no more!

Fer.

This is strange: your father’s in some passion

That works him strongly.

Mira.

Never till this day  144

Saw I him touch’d with anger so distemper’d.

Pro.

You do look, my son, in a mov’d sort,

As if you were dismay’d: be cheerful, sir:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,  148

As I foretold you, were all spirits and

Are melted into air, into thin air:

And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,

The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces,

The solemn temples, the great globe itself,  153

Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve

And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,

Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff  156

As dreams are made on, and our little life

Is rounded with a sleep.—Sir, I am vex’d:

Bear with my weakness; my old brain is troubled.

Be not disturb’d with my infirmity.  160

If you be pleas’d, retire into my cell

And there repose: a turn or two I’ll walk,

To still my beating mind.

Fer. Mira.

We wish your peace.

[Exeunt.

Pro.

Come with a thought!—[To them.] I thank thee: Ariel, come!  164

Enter Ariel.

Ari.

Thy thoughts I cleave to. What’s thy pleasure?

Pro.

Spirit,

We must prepare to meet with Caliban.

Ari.

Ay, my commander; when I presented Ceres,

I thought to have told thee of it; but I fear’d  168

Lest I might anger thee.

Pro.

Say again, where didst thou leave these varlets?

Ari.

I told you, sir, they were red-hot with drinking;

So full of valour that they smote the air  172

For breathing in their faces; beat the ground

For kissing of their feet; yet always bending

Towards their project. Then I beat my tabor;

At which, like unback’d colts, they prick’d their ears,  176

Advanc’d their eyelids, lifted up their noses

As they smelt music: so I charm’d their ears

That, calf-like, they my lowing follow’d through

Tooth’d briers, sharp furzes, pricking goss and thorns,  180

Which enter’d their frail shins: at last I left them

I’ the filthy-mantled pool beyond your cell,

There dancing up to the chins, that the foul lake

O’erstunk their feet.

Pro.

This was well done, my bird.  184

Thy shape invisible retain thou still:

The trumpery in my house, go bring it hither,

For stale to catch these thieves.

Ari.

I go, I go.

[Exit.

Pro.

A devil, a born devil, on whose nature

Nurture can never stick; on whom my pains,  189

Humanely taken, are all lost, quite lost;

And as with age his body uglier grows,

So his mind cankers. I will plague them all,  192

Even to roaring.

Re-enter Ariel, loaden with glistering apparel, &c.

Come, hang them on this line.

Prospero and Ariel remain invisible. Enter Caliban, Stephano, and Trinculo, all wet.

Cal.

Pray you, tread softly, that the blind mole may not

Hear a foot fall: we now are near his cell.  195

Ste.

Monster, your fairy, which you say is a harmless fairy, has done little better than played the Jack with us.

Trin.

Monster, I do smell all horse-piss; at which my nose is in great indignation.  200

Ste.

So is mine.—Do you hear, monster? If I should take a displeasure against you, look you,—

Trin.

Thou wert but a lost monster.

Cal.

Good my lord, give me thy favour still:

Be patient, for the prize I’ll bring thee to  205

Shall hoodwink this mischance: therefore speak softly;

All’s hush’d as midnight yet.

Trin.

Ay, but to lose our bottles in the pool,—  209

Ste.

There is not only disgrace and dishonour in that, monster, but an infinite loss.

Trin.

That’s more to me than my wetting: yet this is your harmless fairy, monster.  213

Ste.

I will fetch off my bottle, though I be o’er ears for my labour.

Cal.

Prithee, my king, be quiet. Seest thou here,  216

This is the mouth o’ the cell: no noise, and enter.

Do that good mischief, which may make this island

Thine own for ever, and I, thy Caliban,

For aye thy foot-licker.  220

Ste.

Give me thy hand: I do begin to have bloody thoughts.

Trin.

O king Stephano! O peer! O worthy Stephano! look, what a wardrobe here is for thee!  225

Cal.

Let it alone, thou fool; it is but trash.

Trin.

O, ho, monster! we know what belongs to a frippery.—O king Stephano!  228

Ste.

Put off that gown, Trinculo; by this hand, I’ll have that gown.

Trin.

Thy grace shall have it.

Cal.

The dropsy drown this fooll what do you mean  232

To dote thus on such luggage? Let’s along,

And do the murder first: if he awake,

From toe to crown he’ll fill our skins with pinches;

Make us strange stuff.  236

Ste.

Be you quiet, monster.—Mistress line, is not this my jerkin? Now is the jerkin under the line: now, jerkin, you are like to lose your hair and prove a bald jerkin.  240

Trin.

Do, do: we steal by line and level, an’t like your grace.

Ste.

I thank thee for that jest; here’s a garment for’t: wit shall not go unrewarded while I am king of this country: ‘Steal by line and level,’ is an excellent pass of pate; there’s another garment for’t.  247

Trin.

Monster, come, put some lime upon your fingers, and away with the rest.

Cal.

I will have none on’t: we shall lose our time,

And all be turn’d to barnacles, or to apes

With foreheads villanous low.  252

Ste.

Monster, lay-to your fingers: help to bear this away where my hogshead of wine is, or I’ll turn you out of my kingdom. Go to; carry this.

Trin.

And this.  256

Ste.

Ay, and this.

A noise of hunters heard. Enter divers Spirits, in shape of hounds, and hunt them about; Prospero and Ariel setting them on.

Pro.

Hey, Mountain, hey!

Ari.

Silver! there it goes, Silver!

Pro.

Fury, Fury! there, Tyrant, there! hark, hark!  260

[Cal., Ste., and Trin. are driven out

Go, charge my goblins that they grind their joints

With dry convulsions; shorten up their sinews

With aged cramps, and more pinch-spotted make them

Than pard, or cat o’ mountain.

Ari.

Hark! they roar.  264

Pro.

Let them be hunted soundly. At this hour

Lie at my mercy all mine enemies:

Shortly shall all my labours end, and thou

Shalt have the air at freedom: for a little,  268

Follow, and do me service.

[Exeunt.

ACT V.

Scene I.— Before the Cell of Prospero.

Enter Prospero in his magic robes; and Ariel.

Pro.

Now does my project gather to a head:

My charms crack not; my spirits obey, and time

Goes upright with his carriage. How’s the day?

Ari.

On the sixth hour; at which time, my lord,  4

You said our work should cease.

Pro.

I did say so,

When first I rais’d the tempest. Say, my spirit,

How fares the king and’s followers?

Ari.

Confin’d together

In the same fashion as you gave in charge,  8

Just as you left them: all prisoners, sir,

In the line-grove which weather-fends your cell;

They cannot budge till your release. The king,

His brother, and yours, abide all three distracted,  12

And the remainder mourning over them,

Brimful of sorrow and dismay; but chiefly

Him, that you term’d, sir, ‘The good old lord Gonzalo:’

His tears run down his beard, like winter’s drops

From eaves of reeds; your charm so strongly works them,  17

That if you now beheld them, your affections

Would become tender.

Pro.

Dost thou think so, spirit?

Ari.

Mine would, sir, were I human.

Pro.

And mine shall.  20

Hast thou, which art but air, a touch, a feeling

Of their afflictions, and shall not myself,

One of their kind, that relish all as sharply,

Passion as they, be kindlier mov’d than thou art?  24

Though with their high wrongs I am struck to the quick,

Yet with my nobler reason ’gainst my fury

Do I take part: the rarer action is

In virtue than in vengeance: they being penitent,  28

The sole drift of my purpose doth extend

Not a frown further. Go, release them, Ariel.

My charms I’ll break, their senses I’ll restore,

And they shall be themselves.

Ari.

I’ll fetch them, sir

[Exit.

Pro.

Ye elves of hills, brooks, standing lakes, and groves;  33

And ye, that on the sands with printless foot

Do chase the ebbing Neptune and do fly him

When he comes back; you demi-puppets, that  36

By moonshine do the green sour ringlets make

Whereof the ewe not bites; and you, whose pastime

Is to make midnight mushrooms; that rejoice

To hear the solemn curfew; by whose aid,—  40

Weak masters though ye be—I have bedimm’d

The noontide sun, call’d forth the mutinous winds,

And ’twixt the green sea and the azur’d vault

Set roaring war: to the dread-rattling thunder  44

Have I given fire and rifted Jove’s stout oak

With his own bolt: the strong-bas’d promontory

Have I made shake; and by the spurs pluck’d up

The pine and cedar: graves at my command  48

Have wak’d their sleepers, op’d, and let them forth

By my so potent art. But this rough magic

I here abjure; and, when I have requir’d

Some heavenly music,—which even now I do,—

To work mine end upon their senses that  53

This airy charm is for, I’ll break my staff,

Bury it certain fathoms in the earth,

And, deeper than did ever plummet sound,  56

I’ll drown my book.

[Solemn music.

Re-enter Ariel: after him, Alonso, with a frantic gesture, attended by Gonzalo; Sebastian and Antonio in like manner, attended by Adrian and Francisco: they all enter the circle which Prospero had made, and there stand charmed; which Prospero observing, speaks.

A solemn air and the best comforter

To an unsettled fancy, cure thy brains,

Now useless, boil’d within thy skull! There stand,  60

For you are spell-stopp’d.

Holy Gonzalo, honourable man,

Mine eyes, even sociable to the show of thine,

Fall fellowly drops. The charm dissolves apace;

And as the morning steals upon the night,  65

Melting the darkness, so their rising senses

Begin to chase the ignorant fumes that mantle

Their clearer reason.—O good Gonzalo!  68

My true preserver, and a loyal sir

To him thou follow’st, I will pay thy graces

Home, both in word and deed.—Most cruelly

Didst thou, Alonso, use me and my daughter:  72

Thy brother was a furtherer in the act;—

Thou’rt pinch’d for’t now, Sebastian.—Flesh and blood,

You, brother mine, that entertain’d ambition,

Expell’d remorse and nature; who, with Sebastian,—  76

Whose inward pinches therefore are most strong,—

Would here have kill’d your king; I do forgive thee,

Unnatural though thou art!—Their understanding

Begins to swell, and the approaching tide  80

Will shortly fill the reasonable shores

That now lie foul and muddy. Not one of them

That yet looks on me, or would know me.—Ariel,

Fetch me the hat and rapier in my cell:—  84

[Exit Ariel.

I will discase me, and myself present,

As I was sometime Milan.—Quickly, spirit;

Thou shalt ere long be free.

Ariel re-enters, singing, and helps to attire Prospero.

Ari.

Where the bee sucks, there suck I  88

In a cowslip’s bell I he:

There I couch when owls do cry.

On the bat’s back I do fly

After summer merrily  92

Merrily, merrily shall I live now

Under the blossom that hangs on the bough

Pro.

Why, that’s my dainty Ariel! I shall miss thee;

But yet thou shalt have freedom;—so, so, so.—

To the king’s ship, invisible as thou art:  97

There shalt thou find the mariners asleep

Under the hatches; the master and the boatswain

Being awake, enforce them to this place,  100

And presently, I prithee.

Ari.

I drink the air before me, and return

Or e’er your pulse twice beat.

[Exit.

Gon.

All torment, trouble, wonder, and amazement  104

Inhabits here: some heavenly power guide us

Out of this fearful country!

Pro.

Behold, sir king,

The wronged Duke of Milan, Prospero.

For more assurance that a living prince  108

Does now speak to thee, I embrace thy body;

And to thee and thy company I bid

A hearty welcome.

Alon.

Whe’r thou beest he or no,

Or some enchanted trifle to abuse me,  112

As late I have been, I not know: thy pulse

Beats, as of flesh and blood; and, since I saw thee,

Th’ affliction of my mind amends, with which,

I fear, a madness held me: this must crave,—

An if this be at all—a most strange story.  117

Thy dukedom I resign, and do entreat

Thou pardon me my wrongs.—But how should Prospero

Be living, and be here?

Pro.

First, noble friend,  120

Let me embrace thine age; whose honour cannot

Be measur’d, or confin’d.

Gon.

Whether this be,

Or be not, I’ll not swear.

Pro.

You do yet taste

Some subtilties o’ the isle, that will not let you

Believe things certain.—Welcome! my friends all:—  125

[Aside to Seb. and Ant.] But you, my brace of lords, were I so minded,

I here could pluck his highness’ frown upon you,

And justify you traitors: at this time  128

I will tell no tales.

Seb.

[Aside.] The devil speaks in him.

Pro.

No.

For you, most wicked sir, whom to call brother

Would even infect my mouth, I do forgive

Thy rankest fault; all of them; and require  132

My dukedom of thee, which, perforce, I know,

Thou must restore.

Alon.

If thou beest Prospero,

Give us particulars of thy preservation;

How thou hast met us here, who three hours since  136

Were wrack’d upon this shore; where I have lost,—

How sharp the point of this remembrance is!—

My dear son Ferdinand.

Pro.

I am woe for’t, sir.

Alon.

Irreparable is the loss, and patience

Says it is past her cure.

Pro.

I rather think  141

You have not sought her help; of whose soft grace,

For the like loss I have her sovereign aid,

And rest myself content.

Alon.

You the like loss!  144

Pro.

As great to me, as late; and, supportable

To make the dear loss, have I means much weaker

Than you may call to comfort you, for I

Have lost my daughter.

Alon.

A daughter?  148

O heavens! that they were living both in Naples,

The king and queen there! that they were, I wish

Myself were mudded in that oozy bed

Where my son lies. When did you lose your daughter?  152

Pro.

In this last tempest. I perceive, these lords

At this encounter do so much admire

That they devour their reason, and scarce think

Their eyes do offices of truth, their words  156

Are natural breath: but, howsoe’er you have

Been justled from your senses, know for certain

That I am Prospero and that very duke

Which was thrust forth of Milan; who most strangely  160

Upon this shore, where you were wrack’d, was landed,

To be the lord on’t. No more yet of this;

For ’tis a chronicle of day by day,

Not a relation for a breakfast nor  164

Befitting this first meeting. Welcome, sir;

This cell’s my court: here have I few attendants

And subjects none abroad: pray you, look in.

My dukedom since you have given me again,  168

I will requite you with as good a thing;

At least bring forth a wonder, to content ye

As much as me my dukedom.

The entrance of the Cell opens, and discovers Ferdinand and Miranda playing at chess.

Mira.

Sweet lord, you play me false.

Fer.

No, my dearest love,  172

I would not for the world.

Mira.

Yes, for a score of kingdoms you should wrangle,

And I would call it fair play.

Alon.

If this prove

A vision of the island, one dear son  176

Shall I twice lose.

Seb.

A most high miracle!

Fer.

Though the seas threaten, they are merciful:

I have curs’d them without cause.

[Kneels to Alon.

Alon.

Now, all the blessings

Of a glad father compass thee about!  180

Arise, and say how thou cam’st here.

Mira.

O, wonder!

How many goodly creatures are there here!

How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,

That has such people in’t!

Pro.

’Tis new to thee.  184

Alon.

What is this maid, with whom thou wast at play?

Your eld’st acquaintance cannot be three hours:

Is she the goddess that hath sever’d us,

And brought us thus together?

Fer.

Sir, she is mortal;  188

But by immortal Providence she’s mine;

I chose her when I could not ask my father

For his advice, nor thought I had one. She

Is daughter to this famous Duke of Milan,  192

Of whom so often I have heard renown,

But never saw before; of whom I have

Receiv’d a second life; and second father

This lady makes him to me.

Alon.

I am hers:  196

But O! how oddly will it sound that I

Must ask my child forgiveness!

Pro.

There, sir, stop:

Let us not burden our remembrances

With a heaviness that’s gone.

Gon.

I have inly wept,  200

Or should have spoke ere this. Look down, you gods,

And on this couple drop a blessed crown;

For it is you that have chalk’d forth the way

Which brought us hither!

Alon.

I say, Amen, Gonzalo!  204

Gon.

Was Milan thrust from Milan, that his issue

Should become kings of Naples? O, rejoice

Beyond a common joy, and set it down

With gold on lasting pillars. In one voyage  208

Did Claribel her husband find at Tunis,

And Ferdinand, her brother, found a wife

Where he himself was lost; Prospero his dukedom

In a poor isle; and all of us ourselves,  212

When no man was his own.

Alon.

[To Fer. and Mira.] Give me your hands:

Let grief and sorrow still embrace his heart

That doth not wish you joy!

Gon.

Be it so: Amen!

Re-enter Ariel, with the Master and Boatswain amazedly following.

O look, sir! look, sir! here are more of us.  216

I prophesied, if a gallows were on land,

This fellow could not drown.—Now, blasphemy,

That swear’st grace o’erboard, not an oath on shore?

Hast thou no mouth by land? What is the news?

Boats.

The best news is that we have safely found  221

Our king and company: the next, our ship,—

Which but three glasses since we gave out split,—

Is tight and yare and bravely rigg’d as when

We first put out to sea.

Ari.

[Aside to Pro.] Sir, all this service  225

Have I done since I went.

Pro.

[Aside to Ari.] My tricksy spirit!

Alon.

These are not natural events; they strengthen

From strange to stranger.—Say, how came you hither?  228

Boats.

If I did think, sir, I were well awake,

I’d strive to tell you. We were dead of sleep,

And,—how we know not,—all clapp’d under hatches,

Where, but even now, with strange and several noises  232

Of roaring, shrieking, howling, jingling chains,

And mo diversity of sounds, all horrible,

We were awak’d; straightway, at liberty:

Where we, in all her trim, freshly beheld  236

Our royal, good, and gallant ship; our master

Capering to eye her: on a trice, so please you,

Even in a dream, were we divided from them,

And were brought moping hither.

Ari.

[Aside to Pro.] Was’t well done?  240

Pro

[Aside to Ari.] Bravely, my diligence! Thou shalt be free.

Alon.

This is as strange a maze as e’er men trod;

And there is in this business more than nature

Was ever conduct of: some oracle  244

Must rectify our knowledge.

Pro.

Sir, my liege,

Do not infest your mind with beating on

The strangeness of this business: at pick’d leisure

Which shall be shortly, single I’ll resolve you,—

Which to you shall seem probable,—of every

These happen’d accidents; till when, be cheerful,

And think of each thing well.—[Aside to Ari.] Come hither, spirit;

Set Caliban and his companions free;  252

Untie the spell. [Exit Ari.] How fares my gracious sir?

There are yet missing of your company

Some few odd lads that you remember not.

Re-enter Ariel, driving in Caliban, Stephano, and Trinculo, in their stolen apparel.

Ste.

Every man shift for all the rest, and let no man take care for himself, for all is but fortune.—Coragio! bully-monster, Coragio!

Trin.

If these be true spies which I wear in my head, here’s a goodly sight.  260

Cal.

O Setebos! these be brave spirits, indeed.

How fine my master is! I am afraid

He will chastise me.

Seb.

Ha, ha!

What things are these, my lord Antonio?  264

Will money buy them?

Ant.

Very like; one of them

Is a plain fish, and, no doubt, marketable.

Pro.

Mark but the badges of these men, my lords,

Then say, if they be true.—This mis-shapen knave,—  268

His mother was a witch; and one so strong

That could control the moon, make flows and ebbs,

And deal in her command without her power.

These three have robb’d me; and this demidevil,—  272

For he’s a bastard one,—had plotted with them

To take my life: two of these fellows you

Must know and own; this thing of darkness I

Acknowledge mine.

Cal.

I shall be pinch’d to death  276

Alon.

Is not this Stephano, my drunken butler?

Seb.

He is drunk now: where had he wine?

Alon.

And Trinculo is reeling-ripe: where should they

Find this grand liquor that hath gilded them?

How cam’st thou in this pickle?  281

Trin.

I have been in such a pickle since I saw you last that, I fear me, will never out of my bones: I shall not fear fly-blowing.  284

Seb.

Why, how now, Stephano!

Ste.

O! touch me not: I am not Stephano, but a cramp.

Pro.

You’d be king of the isle, sirrah?

Ste.

I should have been a sore one then.  288

Alon.

This is a strange thing as e’er I look’d on.

[Pointing to Cal.

Pro.

He is as disproportion’d in his manners As in his shape.—Go, sirrah, to my cell;

Take with you your companions: as you look

To have my pardon, trim it handsomely.  293

Cal.

Ay, that I will; and I’ll be wise hereafter,

And seek for grace. What a thrice-double ass

Was I, to take this drunkard for a god,  296

And worship this dull fool!

Pro.

Go to; away!

Alon.

Hence, and bestow your luggage where you found it.

Seb.

Or stole it, rather.

[Exeunt Cal., Ste., and Trin.

Pro.

Sir, I invite your highness and your train  300

To my poor cell, where you shall take your rest

For this one night; which—part of it—I’ll waste

With such discourse as, I not doubt, shall make it

Go quick away; the story of my life  304

And the particular accidents gone by

Since I came to this isle: and in the morn

I’ll bring you to your ship, and so to Naples,

Where I have hope to see the nuptial  308

Of these our dear-beloved solemniz’d;

And thence retire me to my Milan, where

Every third thought shall be my grave.

Alon.

I long

To hear the story of your life, which must  312

Take the ear strangely.

Pro.

I’ll deliver all;

And promise you calm seas, auspicious gales

And sail so expeditious that shall catch

Your royal fleet far off.—[Aside to Ari.] My Ariel, chick,  316

That is thy charge: then to the elements

Be free, and fare thou well!—Please you, draw near.

[Exeunt.

EPILOGUE.

Spoken by Prospero.

Now my charms are all o’erthrown,

And what strength I have’s mine own;

Which is most faint: now, ’tis true,

I must be here confin’d by you,  4

Or sent to Naples Let me not,

Since I have my dukedom got

And pardon’d the deceiver, dwell

In this bare island by your spell;  8

But release me from my bands

With the help of your good hands.

Gentle breath of yours my sails

Must fill, or else my project fails,  12

Which was to please. Now I want

Spirits to enforce, art to enchant;

And my ending is despair,

Unless I be reliev’d by prayer,  16

Which pierces so that it assaults

Mercy itself and frees all faults.

As you from crimes would pardon’d be,

Let your indulgence set me free.  20

 


 

THE TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

Duke of Milan, Father to Silvia.
Valentine, } the Two Gentlemen.
Proteus,   }
Antonio, Father to Proteus.
Thurio, a foolish rival to Valentine.
Eglamour, Agent for Silvia, in her escape.
Speed, a clownish Servant to Valentine.
Launce, the like to Proteus.
Panthino, Servant to Antonio.
Host, where Julia lodges in Milan.
Outlaws with Valentine.
Julia, beloved of Proteus.
Silvia, beloved of Valentine.
Lucetta, waiting woman to Julia.
Servants, Musicians.

 


 

Scene.Verona; Milan; and the frontiers of Mantua.

ACT I.

Scene I.— Verona. An open place.

Enter Valentine and Proteus.

Val.

Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus:

Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits.

Were’t not affection chains thy tender days

To the sweet glances of thy honour’d love,  4

I rather would entreat thy company

To see the wonders of the world abroad

Than, living dully sluggardiz’d at home,

Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.  8

But since thou lov’st, love still, and thrive therein,

Even as I would when I to love begin.

Pro.

Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu!

Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest  12

Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel:

Wish me partaker in thy happiness

When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger,

If ever danger do environ thee,  16

Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,

For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.

Val.

And on a love-book pray for my success?

Pro.

Upon some book I love I’ll pray for thee.  20

Val.

That’s on some shallow story of deep love,

How young Leander cross’d the Hellespont.

Pro.

That’s a deep story of a deeper love;

For he was more than over shoes in love.  24

Val.

’Tis true; for you are over boots in love,

And yet you never swum the Hellespont.

Pro.

Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots.

Val.

No, I will not, for it boots thee not.

Pro.

What?  28

Val.

To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans;

Coy looks with heart-sore sighs; one fading moment’s mirth

With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights:

If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;  32

If lost, why then a grievous labour won:

However, but a folly bought with wit,

Or else a wit by folly vanquished.

Pro.

So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.  36

Val.

So, by your circumstance, I fear you’ll prove.

Pro.

’Tis love you cavil at: I am not Love.

Val.

Love is your master, for he masters you;

And he that is so yoked by a fool,  40

Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise.

Pro.

Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud

The eating canker dwells, so eating love

Inhabits in the finest wits of all.  44

Val.

And writers say, as the most forward bud

Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,

Even so by love the young and tender wit

Is turned to folly; blasting in the bud,  48

Losing his verdure even in the prime,

And all the fair effects of future hopes.

But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee

That art a votary to fond desire?  52

Once more adieu! my father at the road

Expects my coming, there to see me shipp’d.

Pro.

And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.

Val.

Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave.  56

To Milan let me hear from thee by letters

Of thy success in love, and what news else

Betideth here in absence of thy friend;

And I likewise will visit thee with mine.  60

Pro.

All happiness bechance to thee in Milan!

Val.

As much to you at home! and so, farewell.

[Exit.

Pro.

He after honour hunts, I after love:

He leaves his friends to dignify them more;  64

I leave myself, my friends and all, for love.

Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphos’d me;—

Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,

War with good counsel, set the world at nought;

Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.  69

Enter Speed.

Speed.

Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?

Pro.

But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan.

Speed.

Twenty to one, then, he is shipp’d already,  72

And I have play’d the sheep, in losing him.

Pro.

Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray,

An if the shepherd be a while away.

Speed.

You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then, and I a sheep?  77

Pro.

I do.

Speed.

Why then my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.  80

Pro.

A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep.

Speed.

This proves me still a sheep.

Pro.

True, and thy master a shepherd.

Speed.

Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.  85

Pro.

It shall go hard but I’ll prove it by another.

Speed.

The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not me: therefore I am no sheep.  91

Pro.

The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd, the shepherd for food follows not the sheep; thou for wages followest thy master, thy master for wages follows not thee: therefore thou art a sheep.  96

Speed.

Such another proof will make me cry ‘baa.’

Pro.

But, dost thou hear? gavest thou my letter to Julia?  100

Speed.

Ay, sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a laced mutton; and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a lost mutton, nothing for my labour.  104

Pro.

Here’s too small a pasture for such store of muttons.

Speed.

If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.  108

Pro.

Nay, in that you are astray; ’twere best pound you.

Speed.

Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for carrying your letter.  112

Pro

You mistake: I mean the pound,—a pinfold.

Speed.

From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over,

’Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your lover.  116

Pro.

But what said she? [Speed nods.] Did she nod?

Speed.

Ay.

Pro.

Nod, ay? why, that’s noddy.  120

Speed.

You mistook, sir: I say she did nod; and you ask me if she did nod; and I say, Ay.

Pro

And that set together is—noddy.

Speed.

Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains.  125

Pro.

No, no; you shall have it for bearing the letter.

Speed.

Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.  129

Pro.

Why, sir, how do you bear with me?

Speed.

Marry, sir, the letter very orderly; having nothing but the word ‘noddy’ for my pains.  133

Pro.

Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit.

Speed.

And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.  136

Pro.

Come, come; open the matter in brief: what said she?

Speed.

Open your purse, that the money and the matter may be both at once delivered.  140

Pro.

Well, sir, here is for your pains [giving him money]. What said she?

Speed.

Truly, sir, I think you’ll hardly win her.

Pro.

Why? couldst thou perceive so much from her?  145

Speed.

Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter. And being so hard to me that brought your mind, I fear she’ll prove as hard to you in telling your mind. Give her no token but stones, for she’s as hard as steel.

Pro.

What! said she nothing?  152

Speed.

No, not so much as ‘Take this for thy pains.’ To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself. And so, sir, I’ll commend you to my master.  157

Pro.

Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wrack;

Which cannot perish, having thee aboard,

Being destin’d to a drier death on shore.—  160

[Exit Speed.

I must go send some better messenger:

I fear my Julia would not deign my lines,

Receiving them from such a worthless post.  163

[Exit.

Scene II.— The Same. The Garden of Julia’s House.

Enter Julia and Lucetta.

Jul.

But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,

Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?

Luc.

Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.

Jul.

Of all the fair resort of gentlemen  4

That every day with parle encounter me,

In thy opinion which is worthiest love?

Luc.

Please you repeat their names, I’ll show my mind

According to my shallow simple skill.  8

Jul.

What think’st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?

Luc.

As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;

But, were I you, he never should be mine.  11

Jul.

What think’st thou of the rich Mercatio?

Luc.

Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so.

Jul.

What think’st thou of the gentle Proteus?

Luc.

Lord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us!

Jul.

How now! what means this passion at his name?  16

Luc.

Pardon, dear madam; ’tis a passing shame

That I, unworthy body as I am,

Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.

Jul.

Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest?

Luc.

Then thus,—of many good I think him best.  21

Jul.

Your reason?

Luc.

I have no other but a woman’s reason:

I think him so because I think him so.  24

Jul.

And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him?

Luc.

Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.

Jul.

Why, he, of all the rest hath never mov’d me.

Luc.

Yet he of all the rest, I think, best loves ye.  28

Jul.

His little speaking shows his love but small.

Luc.

Fire that’s closest kept burns most of all.

Jul.

They do not love that do not show their love.

Luc.

O! they love least that let men know their love.  32

Jul.

I would I knew his mind.

Luc.

Peruse this paper, madam.

[Gives a letter.

Jul.

‘To Julia.’—Say from whom?

Luc.

That the contents will show.

Jul.

Say, say, who gave it thee?

Luc.

Sir Valentine’s page, and sent, I think, from Proteus.  36

He would have given it you, but I, being in the way,

Did in your name receive it; pardon the fault, I pray.

Jul.

Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!

Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines?  40

To whisper and conspire against my youth?

Now, trust me, ’tis an office of great worth

And you an officer fit for the place.

There, take the paper: see it be return’d;  44

Or else return no more into my sight.

Luc.

To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.

Jul.

Will ye be gone?

Luc.

That you may ruminate.

[Exit.

Jul.

And yet I would I had o’erlook’d the letter.  48

It were a shame to call her back again

And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.

What fool is she, that knows I am a maid,

And would not force the letter to my view!  52

Since maids, in modesty, say ‘No’ to that

Which they would have the profferer construe ‘Ay.’

Fie, fie! how wayward is this foolish love

That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse  56

And presently all humbled kiss the rod!

How churlishly I child Lucetta hence,

When willingly I would have had her here:

How angerly I taught my brow to frown,  60

When inward joy enforc’d my heart to smile.

My penance is, to call Lucetta back

And ask remission for my folly past.

What ho! Lucetta!

Re-enter Lucetta.

Luc.

What would your ladyship?  64

Jul.

Is it near dinner-time?

Luc.

I would it were;

That you might kill your stomach on your meat

And not upon your maid.

Jul.

What is’t that you took up so gingerly?

Luc.

Nothing.  69

Jul.

Why didst thou stoop, then?

Luc.

To take a paper up

That I let fall.

Jul.

And is that paper nothing?

Luc.

Nothing concerning me.  72

Jul.

Then let it lie for those that it concerns.

Luc.

Madam, it will not lie where it concerns,

Unless it have a false interpreter.

Jul.

Some love of yours hath writ to you in rime.  76

Luc.

That I might sing it, madam, to a tune:

Give me a note: your ladyship can set.

Jul.

As little by such toys as may be possible;

Best sing it to the tune of ‘Light o’ Love.’  80

Luc.

It is too heavy for so light a tune.

Jul.

Heavy! belike it hath some burden, then?

Luc.

Ay; and melodious were it, would you sing it.

Jul.

And why not you?

Luc.

I cannot reach so high.  84

Jul.

Let’s see your song. [Taking the letter.] How now, minion!

Luc.

Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out:

And yet methinks, I do not like this tune.

Jul.

You do not?

Luc.

No, madam; it is too sharp.  88

Jul.

You, minion, are too saucy.

Luc.

Nay, now you are too flat

And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:

There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.  92

Jul.

The mean is drown’d with your unruly bass.

Luc.

Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.

Jul.

This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.

Here is a coil with protestation!—  96

[Tears the letter.

Go, get you gone, and let the papers lie:

You would be fingering them, to anger me.

Luc.

She makes it strange; but she would be best pleas’d

To be so anger’d with another letter.

[Exit.

Jul.

Nay, would I were so anger’d with the same!  101

O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!

Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey

And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!

I’ll kiss each several paper for amends.  105

Look, here is writ ‘kind Julia:’ unkind Julia!

As in revenge of thy ingratitude,

I throw thy name against the bruising stones,

Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.  109

And here is writ ‘love-wounded Proteus:’

Poor wounded name! my bosom, as a bed

Shall lodge thee till thy wound be throughly heal’d;  112

And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.

But twice or thrice was ‘Proteus’ written down:

Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away

Till I have found each letter in the letter,  116

Except mine own name; that some whirlwind bear

Unto a ragged, fearful hanging rock,

And throw it thence into the raging sea!

Lo! here in one line is his name twice writ,  120

‘Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,

To the sweet Julia’:—that I’ll tear away;

And yet I will not, sith so prettily

He couples it to his complaining names:  124

Thus will I fold them one upon another:

Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.

Re-enter Lucetta.

Luc.

Madam,

Dinner is ready, and your father stays.  128

Jul.

Well, let us go.

Luc.

What! shall these papers he like tell-tales here?

Jul.

If you respect them, best to take them up.

Luc.

Nay, I was taken up for laying them down;  132

Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.

Jul.

I see you have a month’s mind to them.

Luc.

Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see;

I see things too, although you judge I wink.  136

Jul.

Come, come; will’t please you go?

[Exeunt

Scene III.— The Same. A Room in Antonio’s House.

Enter Antonio and Panthino.

Ant.

Tell me, Panthino, what sad talk was that

Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister?

Pant.

‘Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son.

Ant.

Why, what of him?

Pant.

He wonder’d that your lordship  4

Would suffer him to spend his youth at home,

While other men, of slender reputation,

Put forth their sons to seek preferment out:

Some to the wars, to try their fortune there;  8

Some to discover islands far away;

Some to the studious universities.

For any or for all these exercises

He said that Proteus your son was meet,  12

And did request me to importune you

To let him spend his time no more at home,

Which would be great impeachment to his age,

In having known to travel in his youth.  16

Ant.

Nor need’st thou much importune me to that

Whereon this month I have been hammering.

I have consider’d well his loss of time,

And how he cannot be a perfect man,  20

Not being tried and tutor’d in the world:

Experience is by industry achiev’d

And perfected by the swift course of time.

Then tell me, whither were I best to send him?

Pant.

I think your lordship is not ignorant

How his companion, youthful Valentine,  26

Attends the emperor in his royal court.

Ant.

I know it well.  28

Pant.

’Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither:

There shall be practise tilts and tournaments,

Hear sweet discourse, converse with noblemen,

And be in eye of every exercise  32

Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth.

Ant.

I like thy counsel, well hast thou advis’d:

And that thou mayst perceive how well I like it

The execution of it shall make known.  36

Even with the speediest expedition

I will dispatch him to the emperor’s court.

Pant.

To-morrow, may it please you, Don Alphonso

With other gentlemen of good esteem,  40

Are journeying to salute the emperor

And to commend their service to his will.

Ant.

Good company; with them shall Proteus go:  43

And in good time:—now will we break with him.

Enter Proteus.

Pro.

Sweet love! sweet lines! sweet life!

Here is her hand, the agent of her heart;

Here is her oath for love, her honour’s pawn.

O! that our fathers would applaud our loves,  48

To seal our happiness with their consents!

O heavenly Julia!

Ant.

How now! what letter are you reading there?

Pro.

May’t please your lordship, ’tis a word or two  52

Of commendations sent from Valentine,

Deliver’d by a friend that came from him.

Ant.

Lend me the letter; let me see what news.

Pro.

There is no news, my lord; but that he writes  56

How happily he lives, how well belov’d

And daily graced by the emperor;

Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune.

Ant.

And how stand you affected to his wish?

Pro.

As one relying on your lordship’s will  61

And not depending on his friendly wish.

Ant.

My will is something sorted with his wish.

Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed;  64

For what I will, I will, and there an end.

I am resolv’d that thou shalt spend some time

With Valentinus in the emperor’s court:

What maintenance he from his friends receives,

Like exhibition thou shalt have from me.  69

To-morrow be in readiness to go:

Excuse it not, for I am peremptory.

Pro.

My lord, I cannot be so soon provided:

Please you, deliberate a day or two.  73

Ant.

Look, what thou want’st shall be sent after thee:

No more of stay; to-morrow thou must go.

Come on, Panthino: you shall be employ’d  76

To hasten on his expedition.

[Exeunt Antonio and Panthino.

Pro.

Thus have I shunn’d the fire for fear of burning,

And drench’d me in the sea, where I am drown’d.

I fear’d to show my father Julia’s letter,  80

Lest he should take exceptions to my love;

And with the vantage of mine own excuse

Hath he excepted most against my love.

O! how this spring of love resembleth  84

The uncertain glory of an April day,

Which now shows all the beauty of the sun,

And by and by a cloud takes all away!

Re-enter Panthino.

Pant.

Sir Proteus, your father calls for you:

He is in haste; therefore, I pray you, go.  89

Pro.

Why, this it is: my heart accords thereto,

And yet a thousand times it answers, ‘no.’

[Exeunt.

ACT II.

Scene I.— Milan. A Room in the Duke’s Palace.

Enter Valentine and Speed.

Speed.

Sir, your glove.

[Offering a glove.

Val.

Not mine; my gloves are on.

Speed.

Why, then this may be yours, for this is but one.

Val.

Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it’s mine;

Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!  4

Ah Silvia! Silvia!

Speed.

[Calling.] Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!

Val.

How now, sirrah?

Speed.

She is not within hearing, sir.

Val.

Why, sir, who bade you call her?

Speed.

Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.

Val.

Well, you’ll still be too forward.  12

Speed.

And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.

Val.

Go to, sir. Tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?  16

Speed.

She that your worship loves?

Val.

Why, how know you that I am in love?

Speed.

Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms, like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.

Val.

Are all these things perceived in me?  36

Speed.

They are all perceived without ye.

Val.

Without me? they cannot.

Speed.

Without you? nay, that’s certain; for, without you were so simple, none else would: but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.  45

Val.

But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?

Speed.

She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?  49

Val.

Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.

Speed.

Why, sir, I know her not.  52

Val.

Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet knowest her not?

Speed.

Is she not hard-favoured, sir?

Val.

Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.  56

Speed.

Sir, I know that well enough.

Val.

What dost thou know?

Speed.

That she is not so fair, as, of you, well-favoured.  60

Val.

I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.

Speed.

That’s because the one is painted and the other out of all count.  64

Val.

How painted? and how out of count?

Speed.

Marry, sir, so painted to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.

Val.

How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.  69

Speed.

You never saw her since she was deformed.

Val.

How long hath she been deformed?  72

Speed.

Ever since you loved her.

Val.

I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful.

Speed.

If you love her you cannot see her.  76

Val.

Why?

Speed.

Because Love is blind. O! that you had mine eyes; or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered!  81

Val.

What should I see then?

Speed.

Your own present folly and her passing deformity: for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.  86

Val.

Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.

Speed.

True, sir; I was in love with my bed. I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.  93

Val.

In conclusion, I stand affected to her.

Speed.

I would you were set, so your affection would cease.  95

Val.

Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.

Speed.

And have you?

Val.

I have.  100

Speed.

Are they not lamely writ?

Val.

No, boy, but as well as I can do them.

Peace! here she comes.

Enter Silvia.

Speed.

[Aside.] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet! now will he interpret to her.

Val.

Madam and mistress, a thousand good morrows.  107

Speed.

[Aside.] O! give ye good even: here’s a million of manners.

Sil.

Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.

Speed.

[Aside.] He should give her interest, and she gives it him.

Val.

As you enjoin’d me, I have writ your letter

Unto the secret nameless friend of yours;

Which I was much unwilling to proceed in  116

But for my duty to your ladyship.

[Gives a letter.

Sil.

I thank you, gentle servant. ’Tis very clerkly done.

Val.

Now, trust me, madam, it came hardly off;  120

For, being ignorant to whom it goes

I writ at random, very doubtfully.

Sil.

Perchance you think too much of so much pains?

Val.

No, madam; so it stead you, I will write,

Please you command, a thousand times as much.

And yet—  126

Sil.

A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;

And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not;

And yet take this again; and yet I thank you,

Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.  130

Speed.

[Aside.] And yet you will; and yet another yet.

Val.

What means your ladyship? do you not like it?  132

Sil.

Yes, yes: the lines are very quaintly writ,

But since unwillingly, take them again:

Nay, take them.

[Gives back the letter.

Val.

Madam, they are for you.

Sil.

Ay, ay; you writ them, sir, at my request,

But I will none of them; they are for you.  137

I would have had them writ more movingly.

Val.

Please you, I’ll write your ladyship another.

Sil.

And when it’s writ, for my sake read it over:  140

And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.

Val.

If it please me, madam, what then?

Sil.

Why, if it please you, take it for your labour:  143

And so, good morrow, servant.

[Exit.

Speed.

O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,

As a nose on a man’s face, or a weathercock on a steeple!

My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor,

He being her pupil, to become her tutor.  148

O excellent device! was there ever heard a better,

That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?

Val.

How now, sir! what are you reasoning with yourself?

Speed.

Nay, I was riming: ’tis you that have the reason.  152

Val.

To do what?

Speed.

To be a spokesman from Madam Silvia.

Val.

To whom?

Speed.

To yourself. Why, she wooes you by a figure.  156

Val.

What figure?

Speed.

By a letter, I should say.

Val.

Why, she hath not writ to me?

Speed.

What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?  162

Val.

No, believe me.

Speed.

No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive her earnest?

Val.

She gave me none, except an angry word.

Speed.

Why, she hath given you a letter.

Val.

That’s the letter I writ to her friend.  168

Speed.

And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.

Val.

I would it were no worse.

Speed.

I’ll warrant you, ’tis as well:  172

‘For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,

Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;

Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,

Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.’  176

All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.

Why muse you, sir? ’tis dinner-time.

Val.

I have dined.  179

Speed.

Ay, but hearken, sir: though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals and would fain have meat. O! be not like your mistress: be moved, be moved.

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— Verona. A Room in Julia’s House.

Enter Proteus and Julia.

Pro.

Have patience, gentle Julia.

Jul.

I must, where is no remedy.

Pro.

When possibly I can, I will return.

Jul.

If you turn not, you will return the sooner.  4

Keep this remembrance for thy Julia’s sake.

[Gives him a ring.

Pro.

Why, then, we’ll make exchange: here, take you this.

[Gives her another.

Jul.

And seal the bargain with a holy kiss.

Pro.

Here is my hand for my true constancy;

And when that hour o’erslips me in the day  9

Wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake,

The next ensuing hour some foul mischance

Torment me for my love’s forgetfulness!  12

My father stays my coming; answer not.

The tide is now: nay, not thy tide of tears;

That tide will stay me longer than I should.

Julia, farewell.

[Exit Julia.

What! gone without a word?  16

Ay, so true love should do: it cannot speak;

For truth hath better deeds than words to grace it.

Enter Panthino.

Pant.

Sir Proteus, you are stay’d for.

Pro.

Go; I come, I come.

Alas! this parting strikes poor lovers dumb.  20

[Exeunt.

Scene III.— The Same. A Street.

Enter Launce, leading a dog.

Launce.

Nay, ’twill be this hour ere I have done weeping: all the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I have received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the imperial’s court. I think Crab my dog be the sourest-natured dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear. He is a stone, a very pebble stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog; a Jew would have wept to have seen our parting: why, my grandam, having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I’ll show you the manner of it. This shoe is my father; no, this left shoe is my father: no, no, this left shoe is my mother; nay, that cannot be so neither:—yes, it is so; it is so; it hath the worser sole. This shoe, with the hole in, is my mother, and this my father. A vengeance on’t! there ’tis: now, sir, this staff is my sister; for, look you, she is as white as a lily and as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid: I am the dog; no, the dog is himself, and I am the dog,—O! the dog is me, and I am myself: ay, so, so. Now come I to my father; ‘Father, your blessing;’ now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping: now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on. Now come I to my mother;—O, that she could speak now like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her; why, there ’tis; here’s my mother’s breath up and down. Now come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes: Now the dog all this while sheds not a tear nor speaks a word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.  36

Enter Panthino.

Pant.

Launce, away, away, aboard! thy master is shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What’s the matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass! you’ll lose the tide if you tarry any longer.  41

Launce.

It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the unkindest tied that ever any man tied.

Pant.

What’s the unkindest tide?  44

Launce.

Why, he that’s tied here, Crab, my dog.

Pant.

Tut, man, I mean thou’lt lose the flood; and, in losing the flood, lose thy voyage, and, in losing thy voyage, lose thy master; and, in losing thy master, lose thy service; and, in losing thy service,—Why dost thou stop my mouth?  52

Launce.

For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.

Pant.

Where should I lose my tongue?

Launce.

In thy tale.  56

Pant.

In thy tail!

Launce.

Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and the service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.

Pant.

Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee.  64

Launce.

Sir, call me what thou darest.

Pant.

Wilt thou go?

Launce.

Well, I will go.

[Exeunt.

Scene IV.— Milan. A Room in the Duke’s Palace.

Enter Valentine, Silvia, Thurio, and Speed.

Sil.

Servant!

Val.

Mistress?

Speed.

Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you.

Val.

Ay, boy, it’s for love.  4

Speed.

Not of you.

Val.

Of my mistress, then.

Speed.

’Twere good you knock’d him.

Sil.

Servant, you are sad.  8

Val.

Indeed, madam, I seem so.

Thu.

Seem you that you are not?

Val.

Haply I do.

Thu.

So do counterfeits.  12

Val.

So do you.

Thu.

What seem I that I am not?

Val.

Wise.

Thu.

What instance of the contrary?  16

Val.

Your folly.

Thu.

And how quote you my folly?

Val.

I quote it in your jerkin.

Thu.

My jerkin is a doublet.  20

Val.

Well, then, I’ll double your folly.

Thu.

How?

Sil.

What, angry, Sir Thurio! do you change colour?  24

Val.

Give him leave, madam; he is a kind of chameleon.

Thu.

That hath more mind to feed on your blood than live in your air.  28

Val.

You have said, sir.

Thu.

Ay, sir, and done too, for this time.

Val.

I know it well, sir: you always end ere you begin.  32

Sil.

A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly shot off.

Val.

’Tis indeed, madam; we thank the giver.  36

Sil.

Who is that, servant?

Val.

Yourself, sweet lady; for you gave the fire. Sir Thurio borrows his wit from your ladyship’s looks, and spends what he borrows kindly in your company.  41

Thu.

Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.

Val.

I know it well, sir: you have an exchequer of words, and, I think, no other treasure to give your followers; for it appears by their bare liveries that they live by your bare words.

Sil.

No more, gentlemen, no more. Here comes my father.  49

Enter Duke.

Duke.

Now, daughter Silvia, you are hard beset.

Sir Valentine, your father’s in good health:

What say you to a letter from your friends  52

Of much good news?

Val.

My lord, I will be thankful

To any happy messenger from thence.

Duke.

Know ye Don Antonio, your countryman?

Val.

Ay, my good lord; I know the gentleman

To be of worth and worthy estimation,  57

And not without desert so well reputed.

Duke.

Hath he not a son?

Val.

Ay, my good lord; a son that well deserves  60

The honour and regard of such a father.

Duke.

You know him well?

Val.

I know him as myself; for from our infancy

We have convers’d and spent our hours together:

And though myself have been an idle truant,  65

Omitting the sweet benefit of time

To clothe mine age with angel-like perfection,

Yet hath Sir Proteus,—for that’s his name,—  68

Made use and fair advantage of his days:

His years but young, but his experience old;

His head unmellow’d, but his judgment ripe;

And, in a word,—for far behind his worth  72

Come all the praises that I now bestow,—

He is complete in feature and in mind

With all good grace to grace a gentleman.

Duke.

Beshrew me, sir, but if he make this good,  76

He is as worthy for an empress’ love

As meet to be an emperor’s counsellor.

Well, sir, this gentleman is come to me

With commendation from great potentates;  80

And here he means to spend his time awhile:

I think, ’tis no unwelcome news to you.

Val.

Should I have wish’d a thing, it had been he.

Duke.

Welcome him then according to his worth.  84

Silvia, I speak to you; and you, Sir Thurio:—

For Valentine, I need not cite him to it.

I’ll send him hither to you presently.

[Exit.

Val.

This is the gentleman I told your ladyship  88

Had come along with me, but that his mistress

Did hold his eyes lock’d in her crystal looks.

Sil.

Belike that now she hath enfranchis’d them

Upon some other pawn for fealty.  92

Val.

Nay, sure, I think she holds them prisoners still.

Sil.

Nay, then he should be blind; and, being blind,

How could he see his way to seek out you?

Val.

Why, lady, Love hath twenty pairs of eyes.

Thu.

They say that Love hath not an eye at all.  97

Val.

To see such lovers, Thurio, as yourself:

Upon a homely object Love can wink.

Sil.

Have done, have done. Here comes the gentleman.  100

Enter Proteus.

Val.

Welcome, dear Proteus! Mistress, I beseech you,

Confirm his welcome with some special favour.

Sil.

His worth is warrant for his welcome hither,  103

If this be he you oft have wish’d to hear from.

Val.

Mistress, it is: sweet lady, entertain him

To be my fellow-servant to your ladyship.

Sil.

Too low a mistress for so high a servant.

Pro.

Not so, sweet lady; but too mean a servant  108

To have a look of such a worthy mistress.

Val.

Leave off discourse of disability:

Sweet lady, entertain him for your servant.

Pro.

My duty will I boast of, nothing else.  112

Sil.

And duty never yet did want his meed.

Servant, you are welcome to a worthless mistress.

Pro.

I’ll die on him that says so but yourself.

Sil.

That you are welcome?

Pro.

That you are worthless.  116

Enter a Servant.

Ser.

Madam, my lord your father would speak with you.

Sil.

I wait upon his pleasure. [Exit Servant.] Come, Sir Thurio,

Go with me. Once more, new servant, welcome:

I’ll leave you to confer of home-affairs;  120

When you have done, we look to hear from you.

Pro.

We’ll both attend upon your ladyship.

[Exeunt Silvia, Thurio, and Speed.

Val.

Now, tell me, how do all from whence you came?

Pro.

Your friends are well and have them much commended.  124

Val.

And how do yours?

Pro.

I left them all in health.

Val.

How does your lady and how thrives your love?

Pro.

My tales of love were wont to weary you;

I know you joy not in a love-discourse.  128

Val.

Ay, Proteus, but that life is alter’d now:

I have done penance for contemning love;

Whose high imperious thoughts have punish’d me

With bitter fasts, with penitential groans,  132

With nightly tears and daily heart-sore sighs;

For, in revenge of my contempt of love,

Love hath chas’d sleep from my enthralled eyes,

And made them watchers of mine own heart’s sorrow.  136

O, gentle Proteus! Love’s a mighty lord,

And hath so humbled me as I confess,

There is no woe to his correction,

Nor to his service no such joy on earth.  140

Now no discourse, except it be of love;

Now can I break my fast, dine, sup and sleep,

Upon the very naked name of love.

Pro.

Enough; I read your fortune in your eye.

Was this the idol that you worship so?  145

Val.

Even she; and is she not a heavenly saint?

Pro.

No; but she is an earthly paragon.

Val.

Call her divine.

Pro.

I will not flatter her.  148

Val.

O! flatter me, for love delights in praises.

Pro.

When I was sick you gave me bitter pills,

And I must minister the like to you.

Val.

Then speak the truth by her; if not divine,  152

Yet let her be a principality,

Sovereign to all the creatures on the earth.

Pro.

Except my mistress.

Val.

Sweet, except not any,

Except thou wilt except against my love.  156

Pro.

Have I not reason to prefer mine own?

Val.

And I will help thee to prefer her too:

She shall be dignified with this high honour,—

To bear my lady’s train, lest the base earth  160

Should from her vesture chance to steal a kiss,

And, of so great a favour growing proud,

Disdain to root the summer-swelling flower,

And make rough winter everlastingly.  164

Pro.

Why, Valentine, what braggardism is this?

Val.

Pardon me, Proteus: all I can is nothing

To her whose worth makes other worthies nothing.

She is alone.

Pro.

Then, let her alone.  168

Val.

Not for the world: why, man, she is mine own,

And I as rich in having such a jewel

As twenty seas, if all their sand were pearl,

The water nectar, and the rocks pure gold.  172

Forgive me that I do not dream on thee,

Because thou see’st me dote upon my love.

My foolish rival, that her father likes

Only for his possessions are so huge,  176

Is gone with her along, and I must after,

For love, thou know’st, is full of jealousy.

Pro.

But she loves you?

Val.

Ay, and we are betroth’d: nay, more, our marriage-hour,  180

With all the cunning manner of our flight,

Determin’d of: how I must climb her window,

The ladder made of cords, and all the means

Plotted and ’greed on for my happiness.  184

Good Proteus, go with me to my chamber,

In these affairs to aid me with thy counsel.

Pro.

Go on before, I shall inquire you forth:

I must unto the road, to disembark  188

Some necessaries that I needs must use,

And then I’ll presently attend you.

Val.

Will you make haste?

Pro.

I will.

[Exit Valentine.

Even as one heat another heat expels,  193

Or as one nail by strength drives out another,

So the remembrance of my former love

Is by a newer object quite forgotten.  196

Is it mine eye, or Valentinus’ praise,

Her true perfection, or my false transgression,

That makes me reasonless to reason thus?

She’s fair; and so is Julia that I love,—  200

That I did love, for now my love is thaw’d,

Which, like a waxen image ’gainst a fire,

Bears no impression of the thing it was.

Methinks my zeal to Valentine is cold,  204

And that I love him not as I was wont:

O! but I love his lady too-too much;

And that’s the reason I love him so little.

How shall I dote on her with more advice,  208

That thus without advice begin to love her?

’Tis but her picture I have yet beheld,

And that hath dazzled my reason’s light;

But when I look on her perfections,  212

There is no reason but I shall be blind.

If I can check my erring love, I will;

If not, to compass her I’ll use my skill.

[Exit.

Scene V.— The Same. A Street.

Enter Speed and Launce.

Speed.

Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!

Launce.

Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I reckon this always that a man is never undone till he be hanged; nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess say, ‘Welcome!’  7

Speed.

Come on, you madcap, I’ll to the alehouse with you presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with Madam Julia?  12

Launce.

Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest.

Speed.

But shall she marry him?

Launce.

No.  16

Speed

How then? Shall he marry her?

Launce

No, neither.

Speed

What, are they broken?

Launce.

No, they are both as whole as a fish.

Speed.

Why then, how stands the matter with them?

Launce.

Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, it stands well with her.  24

Speed.

What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

Launce.

What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff understands me.  28

Speed.

What thou sayest?

Launce.

Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I’ll but lean, and my staff understands me.

Speed.

It stands under thee, indeed.  32

Launce.

Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

Speed.

But tell me true, will’t be a match?

Launce.

Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

Speed.

The conclusion is, then, that it will.

Launce.

Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.  41

Speed.

’Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest thou, that my master is become a notable lover?  44

Launce.

I never knew him otherwise.

Speed.

Than how?

Launce.

A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.  48

Speed.

Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.

Launce.

Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.  52

Speed.

I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

Launce.

Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt go with me to the alehouse so; if not, thou art a Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.

Speed.

Why?  60

Launce.

Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

Speed.

At thy service.

[Exeunt.

Scene VI.— The Same. A Room in the Duke’s Palace.

Enter Proteus.

Pro.

To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn;

To love fair Silvia, shall I be forsworn;

To wrong my friend, I shall be much forsworn;

And even that power which gave me first my oath  4

Provokes me to this threefold perjury:

Love bade me swear, and Love bids me forswear.

O sweet-suggesting Love! if thou hast sinn’d,

Teach me, thy tempted subject, to excuse it.  8

At first I did adore a twinkling star,

But now I worship a celestial sun.

Unheedful vows may heedfully be broken;

And he wants wit that wants resolved will  12

To learn his wit to exchange the bad for better.

Fie, fie, unreverend tongue! to call her bad,

Whose sovereignty so oft thou hast preferr’d

With twenty thousand soul-confirming oaths.

I cannot leave to love, and yet I do;  17

But there I leave to love where I should love.

Julia I lose and Valentine I lose:

If I keep them, I needs must lose myself;  20

If I lose them, thus find I by their loss,

For Valentine, myself; for Julia, Silvia.

I to myself am dearer than a friend,

For love is still most precious in itself;  24

And Silvia—witness heaven that made her fair!—

Shows Julia but a swarthy Ethiope.

I will forget that Julia is alive,

Remembering that my love to her is dead;  28

And Valentine I’ll hold an enemy,

Aiming at Silvia as a sweeter friend.

I cannot now prove constant to myself

Without some treachery us’d to Valentine:  32

This night he meaneth with a corded ladder

To climb celestial Silvia’s chamber-window,

Myself in counsel, his competitor.

Now presently, I’ll give her father notice  36

Of their disguising and pretended flight;

Who, all enrag’d, will banish Valentine;

For Thurio, he intends, shall wed his daughter;

But, Valentine being gone, I’ll quickly cross,  40

By some sly trick blunt Thurio’s dull proceeding.

Love, lend me wings to make my purpose swift,

As thou hast lent me wit to plot this drift!

[Exit.

Scene VII.— Verona. A Room in Julia’s House

Enter Julia and Lucetta.

Jul.

Counsel, Lucetta; gentle girl, assist me:

And e’en in kind love I do conjure thee,

Who art the table wherein all my thoughts

Are visibly character’d and engrav’d,  4

To lesson me and tell me some good mean

How, with my honour, I may undertake

A journey to my loving Proteus.

Luc.

Alas! the way is wearisome and long.  8

Jul.

A true-devoted pilgrim is not weary

To measure kingdoms with his feeble steps;

Much less shall she that hath Love’s wings to fly,

And when the flight is made to one so dear,  12

Of such divine perfection, as Sir Proteus.

Luc.

Better forbear till Proteus make return.

Jul.

O! know’st thou not his looks are my soul’s food?

Pity the dearth that I have pined in,  16

By longing for that food so long a time.

Didst thou but know the inly touch of love,

Thou wouldst as soon go kindle fire with snow

As seek to quench the fire of love with words.  20

Luc.

I do not seek to quench your love’s hot fire,

But qualify the fire’s extreme rage,

Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason.

Jul.

The more thou damm’st it up, the more it burns.  24

The current that with gentle murmur glides,

Thou know’st, being stopp’d, impatiently doth rage;

But when his fair course is not hindered,

He makes sweet music with th’ enamell’d stones,

Giving a gentle kiss to every sedge  29

He overtaketh in his pilgrimage;

And so by many winding nooks he strays

With willing sport, to the wild ocean.  32

Then let me go and hinder not my course:

I’ll be as patient as a gentle stream

And make a pastime of each weary step,

Till the last step have brought me to my love;  36

And there I’ll rest, as after much turmoil

A blessed soul doth in Elysium.

Luc.

But in what habit will you go along?

Jul.

Not like a woman; for I would prevent

The loose encounters of lascivious men.  41

Gentle Lucetta, fit me with such weeds

As may beseem some well-reputed page.

Luc.

Why, then, your ladyship must cut your hair.  44

Jul.

No, girl; I’ll knit it up in silken strings

With twenty odd-conceited true-love knots:

To be fantastic may become a youth

Of greater time than I shall show to be.  48

Luc.

What fashion, madam, shall I make your breeches?

Jul.

That fits as well as ‘Tell me, good my lord,

What compass will you wear your farthingale?’

Why, even what fashion thou best lik’st, Lucetta.  52

Luc.

You must needs have them with a cod-piece, madam.

Jul.

Out, out, Lucetta! that will be ill-favour’d.

Luc.

A round hose, madam, now’s not worth a pin,

Unless you have a cod-piece to stick pins on.  56

Jul.

Lucetta, as thou lov’st me, let me have

What thou think’st meet and is most mannerly.

But tell me, wench, how will the world repute me

For undertaking so unstaid a journey?  60

I fear me, it will make me scandaliz’d.

Luc.

If you think so, then stay at home and go not.

Jul.

Nay, that I will not.

Luc.

Then never dream on infamy, but go.  64

If Proteus like your journey when you come,

No matter who’s displeas’d when you are gone.

I fear me, he will scarce be pleas’d withal.

Jul.

That is the least, Lucetta, of my fear:  68

A thousand oaths, an ocean of his tears,

And instances of infinite of love

Warrant me welcome to my Proteus.

Luc.

All these are servants to deceitful men.

Jul.

Base men, that use them to so base effect;  73

But truer stars did govern Proteus’ birth:

His words are bonds, his oaths are oracles,

His love sincere, his thoughts immaculate,  76

His tears pure messengers sent from his heart,

His heart as far from fraud as heaven from earth.

Luc.

Pray heaven he prove so when you come to him!

Jul.

Now, as thou lov’st me, do him not that wrong  80

To bear a hard opinion of his truth:

Only deserve my love by loving him,

And presently go with me to my chamber,

To take a note of what I stand in need of  84

To furnish me upon my longing journey.

All that is mine I leave at thy dispose,

My goods, my lands, my reputation;

Only, in lieu thereof, dispatch me hence.  88

Come, answer not, but to it presently!

I am impatient of my tarriance.

[Exeunt.

ACT III.

Scene I.— Milan. An anteroom in the Duke’s Palace.

Enter Duke, Thurio, and Proteus.

Duke.

Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile;

We have some secrets to confer about.

[Exit Thurio.

Now tell me, Proteus, what’s your will with me?

Pro.

My gracious lord, that which I would discover  4

The law of friendship bids me to conceal;

But when I call to mind your gracious favours

Done to me, undeserving as I am,

My duty pricks me on to utter that  8

Which else no worldly good should draw from me.

Know, worthy prince, Sir Valentine, my friend,

This night intends to steal away your daughter:

Myself am one made privy to the plot.  12

I know you have determin’d to bestow her

On Thurio, whom your gentle daughter hates;

And should she thus be stol’n away from you

It would be much vexation to your age.  16

Thus, for my duty’s sake, I rather chose

To cross my friend in his intended drift,

Than, by concealing it, heap on your head

A pack of sorrows which would press you down,

Being unprevented, to your timeless grave.  21

Duke.

Proteus, I thank thee for thine honest care,

Which to requite, command me while I live.

This love of theirs myself have often seen,  24

Haply, when they have judg’d me fast asleep,

And oftentimes have purpos’d to forbid

Sir Valentine her company and my court;

But fearing lest my jealous aim might err  28

And so unworthily disgrace the man,—

A rashness that I ever yet have shunn’d,—

I gave him gentle looks, thereby to find

That which thyself hast now disclos’d to me.  32

And, that thou mayst perceive my fear of this,

Knowing that tender youth is soon suggested,

I nightly lodge her in an upper tower,

The key whereof myself have ever kept;  36

And thence she cannot be convey’d away.

Pro.

Know, noble lord, they have devis’d a mean

How he her chamber-window will ascend

And with a corded ladder fetch her down;  40

For which the youthful lover now is gone

And this way comes he with it presently;

Where, if it please you, you may intercept him.

But, good my lord, do it so cunningly  44

That my discovery be not aimed at;

For love of you, not hate unto my friend,

Hath made me publisher of this pretence.

Duke.

Upon mine honour, he shall never know  48

That I had any light from thee of this.

Pro.

Adieu, my lord: Sir Valentine is coming.

[Exit.

Enter Valentine.

Duke.

Sir Valentine, whither away so fast?

Val.

Please it your Grace, there is a messenger  52

That stays to bear my letters to my friends,

And I am going to deliver them.

Duke.

Be they of much import?

Val.

The tenour of them doth but signify  56

My health and happy being at your court.

Duke.

Nay then, no matter: stay with me awhile;

I am to break with thee of some affairs

That touch me near, wherein thou must be secret.  60

’Tis not unknown to thee that I have sought

To match my friend Sir Thurio to my daughter.

Val.

I know it well, my lord; and sure, the match

Were rich and honourable; besides, the gentleman  64

Is full of virtue, bounty, worth, and qualities

Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter.

Cannot your Grace win her to fancy him?

Duke.

No, trust me: she is peevish, sullen, froward,  68

Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty;

Neither regarding that she is my child,

Nor fearing me as if I were her father:

And, may I say to thee this pride of hers,  72

Upon advice, hath drawn my love from her;

And, where I thought the remnant of mine age

Should have been cherish’d by her child-like duty,

I now am full resolv’d to take a wife  76

And turn her out to who will take her in:

Then let her beauty be her wedding-dower;

For me and my possessions she esteems not.

Val.

What would your Grace have me to do in this?  80

Duke.

There is a lady of Verona here,

Whom I affect; but she is nice and coy

And nought esteems my aged eloquence:

Now therefore, would I have thee to my tutor,

For long agone I have forgot to court;  85

Besides, the fashion of the time is chang’d,

How and which way I may bestow myself

To be regarded in her sun-bright eye.  88

Val.

Win her with gifts, if she respect not words:

Dumb jewels often in their silent kind

More than quick words do move a woman’s mind.

Duke.

But she did scorn a present that I sent her.  92

Val.

A woman sometime scorns what best contents her.

Send her another; never give her o’er,

For scorn at first makes after-love the more.

If she do frown, ’tis not in hate of you,  96

But rather to beget more love in you;

If she do chide, ’tis not to have you gone;

For why the fools are mad if left alone.

Take no repulse, whatever she doth say;  100

For, ‘get you gone,’ she doth not mean, ‘away!’

Flatter and praise, commend, extol their graces;

Though ne’er so black, say they have angels’ faces.

That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man,

If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.  105

Duke.

But she I mean is promis’d by her friends

Unto a youthful gentleman of worth,

And kept severely from resort of men,  108

That no man hath access by day to her.

Val.

Why then, I would resort to her by night.

Duke.

Ay, but the doors be lock’d and keys kept safe,

That no man hath recourse to her by night.  112

Val.

What lets but one may enter at her window?

Duke.

Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground,

And built so shelving that one cannot climb it

Without apparent hazard of his life.  116

Val.

Why then, a ladder quaintly made of cords,

To cast up, with a pair of anchoring hooks,

Would serve to scale another Hero’s tower,

So bold Leander would adventure it.  120

Duke.

Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood,

Advise me where I may have such a ladder.

Val.

When would you use it? pray, sir, tell me that.

Duke.

This very night; for Love is like a child,  124

That longs for every thing that he can come by.

Val.

By seven o’clock I’ll get you such a ladder.

Duke.

But hark thee; I will go to her alone:

How shall I best convey the ladder thither?  128

Val.

It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it

Under a cloak that is of any length.

Duke.

A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?

Val.

Ay, my good lord.

Duke.

Then let me see thy cloak:  132

I’ll get me one of such another length.

Val.

Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.

Duke.

How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?

I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.  136

[Pulls open Valentine’s cloak.

What letter is this same? What’s here?—To Silvia!

And here an engine fit for my proceeding!

I’ll be so bold to break the seal for once.

My thoughts do harbour with my Silvia nightly;  140

And slaves they are to me that send them flying

O! could their master come and go as lightly,

Himself would lodge where senseless they are lying!

My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them;

While I, their king, that thither them importune,

Do curse the grace that with such grace hath bless’d them,

Because myself do want my servants’ fortune:

I curse myself, for they are sent by me,  148

That they should harbour where their lord would be.

What’s here?

Silvia, this night I will enfranchise thee

’Tis so; and here’s the ladder for the purpose.

Why, Phaethon,—for thou art Merops’ son,—

Wilt thou aspire to guide the heavenly car

And with thy daring folly burn the world?

Wilt thou reach stars, because they shine on thee?  156

Go, basc intruder! overweening slave!

Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates,

And think my patience, more than thy desert,

Is privilege for thy departure hence.  160

Thank me for this more than for all the favours

Which all too much I have bestow’d on thee.

But if thou linger in my territories

Longer than swiftest expedition  164

Will give thee time to leave our royal court,

By heaven! my wrath shall far exceed the love

I ever borc my daughter or thyself.

Be gone! I will not hear thy vain excuse;  168

But, as thou lov’st thy life, make speed from hence.

[Exit.

Val.

And why not death rather than living torment?

To die is to be banish’d from myself;

And Silvia is myself: banish’d from her  172

Is self from self,—a deadly banishment!

What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?

What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by?

Unless it be to think that she is by  176

And feed upon the shadow of perfection.

Except I be by Silvia in the night,

There is no music in the nightingale;

Unless I look on Silvia in the day,  180

There is no day for me to look upon.

She is my essence; and I leave to be,

If I be not by her fair influence

Foster’d, illumin’d, cherish’d, kept alive.  184

I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom:

Tarry I here, I but attend on death;

But, fly I hence, I fly away from life.

Enter Proteus and Launce.

Pro.

Run, boy; run, run, and seek him out.

Launce.

Soho! soho!  189

Pro.

What seest thou?

Launce.

Him we go to find: there’s not a hair on’s head but ’tis a Valentine.  192

Pro.

Valentine?

Val.

No.

Pro.

Who then? his spirit?

Val.

Neither.  196

Pro.

What then?

Val.

Nothing.

Launce.

Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?  200

Pro.

Who would’st thou strike?

Launce.

Nothing.

Pro.

Villain, forbear.

Launce.

Why, sir, I’ll strike nothing: I pray you,—  204

Pro.

Sirrah, I say, forbear.—Friend Valentine, a word.

Val.

My ears are stopp’d and cannot hear good news,

So much of bad already hath possess’d them.

Pro.

Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,

For they are harsh, untuneable and bad.  209

Val.

Is Silvia dead?

Pro.

No, Valentine.

Val.

No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Silvia!

Hath she forsworn me?  213

Pro.

No, Valentine.

Val.

No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me!

What is your news?  216

Launce.

Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.

Pro.

That thou art banished, O, that’s the news,

From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend.

Val.

O, I have fed upon this woe already,  220

And now excess of it will make me surfeit.

Doth Silvia know that I am banished?

Pro.

Ay, ay; and she hath offer’d to the doom—  223

Which, unrevers’d, stands in effectual force—

A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears:

Those at her father’s churlish feet she tender’d;

With them, upon her knees, her humble self;

Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them  228

As if but now they waxed pale for woe:

But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,

Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears,

Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire;  232

But Valentine, if he be ta’en, must die.

Besides, her intercession chaf’d him so,

When she for thy repeal was suppliant,

That to close prison he commanded her,  236

With many bitter threats of biding there.

Val.

No more; unless the next word that thou speak’st

Have some malignant power upon my life:

If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,  240

As ending anthem of my endless dolour.

Pro.

Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,

And study help for that which thou lament’st.

Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.  244

Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love;

Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.

Hope is a lover’s staff; walk hence with that

And manage it against despairing thoughts.  248

Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence;

Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver’d

Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.

The time now serves not to expostulate:  252

Come, I’ll convey thee through the city-gate,

And, ere I part with thee, confer at large

Of all that may concern thy love-affairs.

As thou lov’st Silvia, though not for thyself,  256

Regard thy danger, and along with me!

Val.

I pray thee, Launce, and if thou seest my boy,

Bid him make haste and meet me at the North-gate.

Pro.

Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine.  260

Val.

O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine!

[Exeunt Valentine and Proteus.

Launce.

I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave: but that’s all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me, nor who ’tis I love; and yet ’tis a woman; but what woman, I will not tell myself; and yet ’tis a milkmaid; yet ’tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet ’tis a maid, for she is her master’s maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel,—which is much in a bare Christian. [Pulling out a paper.] Here is the catelog of her condition. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore, is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.  280

Enter Speed.

Speed.

How now, Signior Launce! what news with your mastership?

Launce.

With my master’s ship? why, it is at sea.  284

Speed.

Well, your old vice still; mistake the word. What news, then, in your paper?

Launce.

The blackest news that ever thou heardest.  288

Speed.

Why, man, how black?

Launce.

Why, as black as ink.

Speed.

Let me read them.

Launce.

Fie on thee, jolthead! thou canst not read.  293

Speed.

Thou liest; I can.

Launce.

I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?  296

Speed.

Marry, the son of my grandfather.

Launce.

O, illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother. This proves that thou canst not read.  300

Speed.

Come, fool, come: try me in thy paper.

Launce.

There; and Saint Nicholas be thy speed!  304

Speed.

Imprimis, She can milk.

Launce.

Ay, that she can.

Speed.

Item, She brews good ale.

Launce.

And thereof comes the proverb, ‘Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale.’  309

Speed.

Item, She can sew.

Launce.

That’s as much as to say, Can she so?  312

Speed.

Item, She can knit.

Launce.

What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock?

Speed.

Item, She can wash and scour.  316

Launce.

A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured.

Speed.

Item, She can spin.

Launce.

Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living.  321

Speed.

Item, She hath many nameless virtues.

Launce.

That’s as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names.

Speed.

Here follow her vices.

Launce.

Close at the heels of her virtues.  328

Speed.

Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath.

Launce.

Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.  332

Speed.

Item, She hath a sweet mouth.

Launce.

That makes amends for her sour breath.

Speed.

Item, She doth talk in her sleep.  336

Launce.

It’s no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.

Speed.

Item, She is slow in words.

Launce.

O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words is a woman’s only virtue: I pray thee, out with’t, and place it for her chief virtue.

Speed.

Item, She is proud.  344

Launce.

Out with that too: it was Eve’s legacy, and cannot be ta’en from her.

Speed.

Item, She hath no teeth.

Launce.

I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.  349

Speed.

Item, She is curst.

Launce.

Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.  352

Speed.

Item, She will often praise her liquor.

Launce.

If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised.  356

Speed.

Item, She is too liberal.

Launce.

Of her tongue she cannot, for that’s writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not, for that I’ll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and that cannot I help. Well, proceed.

Speed.

Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.  365

Launce.

Stop there; I’ll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that once more.  368

Speed.

Item, She hath more hair than wit.

Launce.

More hair than wit it may be; I’ll prove it: the cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair, that covers the wit is more than the wit, for the greater hides the less. What’s next?

Speed.

And more faults than hairs.—  376

Launce.

That’s monstrous! O, that that were out!

Speed.

And more wealth than faults.

Launce.

Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well, I’ll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible,—

Speed.

What then?

Launce.

Why, then will I tell thee,—that thy master stays for thee at the North-gate.  385

Speed.

For me?

Launce.

For thee! ay; who art thou? he hath stayed for a better man than thee.  388

Speed.

And must I go to him?

Launce.

Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long that going will scarce serve the turn.  392

Speed.

Why didst not tell me sooner? pox of your love-letters!

[Exit.

Launce

Now will he be swing’d for reading my letter. An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets. I’ll after, to rejoice in the boy’s correction.

[Exit.

Scene II.— The Same. A Room in the Duke’s Palace.

Enter Duke and Thurio.

Duke.

Sir Thurio, fear not but that she will love you,

Now Valentine is banish’d from her sight.

Thu.

Since his exile she hath despis’d me most,

Forsworn my company and rail’d at me,  4

That I am desperate of obtaining her.

Duke.

This weak impress of love is as a figure

Trenched in ice, which with an hour’s heat

Dissolves to water and doth lose his form.  8

A little time will melt her frozen thoughts,

And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.

Enter Proteus.

How now, Sir Proteus! Is your countryman

According to our proclamation gone?  12

Pro.

Gone, my good lord.

Duke.

My daughter takes his going grievously.

Pro.

A little time, my lord, will kill that grief.

Duke.

So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.

Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee,—  17

For thou hast shown some sign of good desert,—

Makes me the better to confer with thee.

Pro.

Longer than I prove loyal to your Grace

Let me not live to look upon your Grace.  21

Duke.

Thou know’st how willingly I would effect

The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter.

Pro.

I do, my lord.  24

Duke.

And also, I think, thou art not ignorant

How she opposes her against my will.

Pro.

She did, my lord, when Valentine was here.

Duke.

Ay, and perversely she persevers so.  28

What might we do to make the girl forget

The love of Valentine, and love Sir Thurio?

Pro.

The best way is to slander Valentine

With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent,

Three things that women highly hold in hate.

Duke.

Ay, but she’ll think that it is spoke in hate.

Pro.

Ay, if his enemy deliver it:

Therefore it must with circumstance be spoken

By one whom she esteemeth as his friend.  37

Duke.

Then you must undertake to slander him.

Pro.

And that, my lord, I shall be loath to do:

’Tis an ill office for a gentleman,  40

Especially against his very friend.

Duke.

Where your good word cannot advantage him,

Your slander never can endamage him:

Therefore the office is indifferent,  44

Being entreated to it by your friend.

Pro.

You have prevail’d, my lord. If I can do it,

By aught that I can speak in his dispraise,

She shall not long continue love to him.  48

But say this weed her love from Valentine,

It follows not that she will love Sir Thurio.

Thu.

Therefore, as you unwind her love from him,

Lest it should ravel and be good to none,  52

You must provide to bottom it on me;

Which must be done by praising me as much

As you in worth dispraise Sir Valentine.

Duke.

And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind,  56

Because we know, on Valentine’s report,

You are already Love’s firm votary

And cannot soon revolt and change your mind.

Upon this warrant shall you have access  60

Where you with Silvia may confer at large;

For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy,

And, for your friend’s sake, will be glad of you;

Where you may temper her, by your persuasion

To hate young Valentine and love my friend.  65

Pro.

As much as I can do I will effect.

But you, Sir Thurio, are not sharp enough;

You must lay lime to tangle her desires  68

By wailful sonnets, whose composed rimes

Should be full-fraught with serviceable vows.

Duke.

Ay,

Much is the force of heaven-bred poesy.  72

Pro.

Say that upon the altar of her beauty

You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart.

Write till your ink be dry, and with your tears

Moist it again, and frame some feeling line  76

That may discover such integrity:

For Orpheus’ lute was strung with poets’ sinews,

Whose golden touch could soften steel and stones,

Make tigers tame and huge leviathans  80

Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands.

After your dire-lamenting elegies,

Visit by night your lady’s chamber-window

With some sweet consort: to their instruments

Tune a deploring dump; the night’s dead silence

Will well become such sweet-complaining grievance.

This, or else nothing, will inherit her.

Duke.

This discipline shows thou hast been in love.  88

Thu.

And thy advice this night I’ll put in practice.

Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver,

Let us into the city presently

To sort some gentlemen well skill’d in music.  92

I have a sonnet that will serve the turn

To give the onset to thy good advice.

Duke.

About it, gentlemen!

Pro.

We’ll wait upon your grace till aftersupper,  96

And afterward determine our proceedings.

Duke.

Even now about it! I will pardon you.

[Exeunt.

ACT IV.

Scene I.— A Forest between Milan and Verona.

Enter certain Outlaws.

First Out.

Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger.

Sec. Out.

If there be ten, shrink not, but down with ’em.

Enter Valentine and Speed.

Third Out.

Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about ye;

If not, we’ll make you sit and rifle you.  4

Speed.

Sir, we are undone: these are the villains

That all the travellers do fear so much.

Val.

My friends,—

First Out.

That’s not so, sir; we are your enemies.  8

Sec. Out.

Peace! we’ll hear him.

Third Out.

Ay, by my beard, will we, for he is a proper man.

Val.

Then know, that I have little wealth to lose.

A man I am cross’d with adversity:  12

My riches are these poor habiliments,

Of which if you should here disfurnish me,

You take the sum and substance that I have.

Sec. Out.

Whither travel you?  16

Val.

To Verona.

First Out.

Whence came you?

Val.

From Milan.

Third Out.

Have you long sojourn’d there?

Val.

Some sixteen months; and longer might have stay’d  21

If crooked fortune had not thwarted me.

Sec. Out.

What! were you banish’d thence?

Val.

I was.  24

Sec. Out.

For what offence?

Val.

For that which now torments me to rehearse.

I kill’d a man, whose death I much repent;

But yet I slew him manfully, in fight,  28

Without false vantage or base treachery.

First Out.

Why, ne’er repent it, if it were done so.

But were you banish’d for so small a fault?

Val.

I was, and held me glad of such a doom.

Sec. Out.

Have you the tongues?  33

Val.

My youthful travel therein made me happy,

Or else I often had been miserable.

Third Out.

By the bare scalp of Robin Hood’s fat friar,  36

This fellow were a king for our wild faction!

First Out.

We’ll have him: Sirs, a word.

Speed.

Master, be one of them;

It is an honourable kind of thievery.  40

Val.

Peace, villain!

Sec. Out.

Tell us this: have you anything to take to?

Val.

Nothing, but my fortune.

Third Out.

Know then, that some of us are gentlemen,  44

Such as the fury of ungovern’d youth

Thrust from the company of awful men:

Myself was from Verona banished

For practising to steal away a lady,  48

An heir, and near allied unto the duke.

Sec Out.

And I from Mantua, for a gentleman,

Who, in my mood, I stabb’d unto the heart.

First Out.

And I for such like petty crimes as these.  52

But to the purpose; for we cite our faults,

That they may hold excus’d our lawless lives;

And, partly, seeing you are beautified

With goodly shape, and by your own report  56

A linguist, and a man of such perfection

As we do in our quality much want—

Sec. Out.

Indeed, because you are a banish’d man,

Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you.  60

Are you content to be our general?

To make a virtue of necessity

And live, as we do, in this wilderness?

Third Out.

What say’st thou? wilt thou be of our consort?  64

Say ‘ay,’ and be the captain of us all:

We’ll do thee homage and be rul’d by thee,

Love thee as our commander and our king.

First Out.

But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou diest.  68

Sec. Out.

Thou shalt not live to brag what we have offer’d.

Val.

I take your offer and will live with you,

Provided that you do no outrages

On silly women, or poor passengers.  72

Third Out.

No; we detest such vile, base practices.

Come, go with us; we’ll bring thee to our crews,

And show thee all the treasure we have got,

Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose.  76

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— Milan. The Court of the Duke’s Palace.

Enter Proteus.

Pro.

Already have I been false to Valentine,

And now I must be as unjust to Thurio.

Under the colour of commending him,

I have access my own love to prefer:  4

But Silvia is too fair, too true, too holy,

To be corrupted with my worthless gifts.

When I protest true loyalty to her,

She twits me with my falsehood to my friend;  8

When to her beauty I commend my vows,

She bids me think how I have been forsworn

In breaking faith with Julia whom I lov’d:

And notwithstanding all her sudden quips,  12

The least whereof would quell a lover’s hope,

Yet, spaniel-like, the more she spurns my love,

The more it grows, and fawneth on her still.

But here comes Thurio: now must we to her window,  16

And give some evening music to her ear.

Enter Thurio, and Musicians.

Thu.

How now, Sir Proteus! are you crept before us?

Pro.

Ay, gentle Thurio; for you know that love

Will creep in service where it cannot go.  20

Thu.

Ay; but I hope, sir, that you love not here.

Pro.

Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence.

Thu.

Who? Silvia?

Pro.

Ay, Silvia, for your sake.  24

Thu.

I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen,

Let’s tune, and to it lustily a while.

Enter Host and Julia behind. Julia in boy’s clothes.

Host.

Now, my young guest, methinks you’re allycholly: I pray you, why is it?  28

Jul.

Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry.

Host.

Come, we’ll have you merry. I’ll bring you where you shall hear music and see the gentleman that you asked for.  33

Jul.

But shall I hear him speak?

Host.

Ay, that you shall.

Jul.

That will be music.

[Music plays.

Host.

Hark! hark!  37

Jul.

Is he among these?

Host.

Ay; but peace! let’s hear ’em.

SONG.

Who is Silvia? what is she?  40

That all our swains commend her?

Holy, fair, and wise is she;

The heaven such grace did lend her,

That she might admired be.  44

Is she kind as she is fair?

For beauty lives with kindness:

Love doth to her eyes repair,

To help him of his blindness;  48

And, being help’d, inhabits there.

Then to Silvia let us sing,

That Silvia is excelling;

She excels each mortal thing  52

Upon the dull earth dwelling;

To her let us garlands bring.

Host.

How now! are you sadder than you were before? How do you, man? the music likes you not.  57

Jul.

You mistake; the musician likes me not.

Host.

Why, my pretty youth?

Jul.

He plays false, father.  60

Host.

How? out of tune on the strings?

Jul.

Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my very heart-strings.

Host.

You have a quick ear.  64

Jul.

Ay; I would I were deaf; it makes me have a slow heart.

Host.

I perceive you delight not in music.

Jul.

Not a whit,—when it jars so.  68

Host.

Hark! what fine change is in the music!

Jul.

Ay, that change is the spite.

Host.

You would have them always play but one thing?  72

Jul.

I would always have one play but one thing.

But, host, doth this Sir Proteus that we talk on

Often resort unto this gentlewoman?

Host.

I will tell you what Launce, his man, told me: he lov’d her out of all nick.  77

Jul.

Where is Launce?

Host.

Gone to seek his dog; which, to-morrow, by his master’s command, he must carry for a present to his lady.  81

Jul.

Peace! stand aside: the company parts.

Pro.

Sir Thurio, fear not you: I will so plead

That you shall say my cunning drift excels.  84

Thu.

Where meet we?

Pro.

At Saint Gregory’s well.

Thu.

Farewell.

[Exeunt Thurio and Musicians.

Enter Silvia above, at her window.

Pro.

Madam, good even to your ladyship.  88

Sil.

I thank you for your music, gentlemen.

Who is that that spake?

Pro.

One, lady, if you knew his pure heart’s truth,

You would quickly learn to know him by his voice.  92

Sil.

Sir Proteus, as I take it.

Pro.

Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant.

Sil.

What is your will?

Pro.

That I may compass yours.

Sil.

You have your wish; my will is even this:

That presently you hie you home to bed.  97

Thou subtle, perjur’d, false, disloyal man!

Think’st thou I am so shallow, so conceitless,

To be seduced by thy flattery,  100

That hast deceiv’d so many with thy vows?

Return, return, and make thy love amends.

For me, by this pale queen of night I swear,

I am so far from granting thy request  104

That I despise thee for thy wrongful suit,

And by and by intend to chide myself

Even for this time I spend in talking to thee.

Pro.

I grant, sweet love, that I did love a lady;

But she is dead.

Jul.

[Aside.] ’Tware false, if I should speak it;

For I am sure she is not buried.

Sil.

Say that she be; yet Valentine thy friend

Survives; to whom, thyself art witness  112

I am betroth’d: and art thou not asham’d

To wrong him with thy importunacy?

Pro.

I likewise hear that Valentine is dead.

Sil.

And so suppose am I; for in his grave, Assure thyself my love is buried.  117

Pro.

Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth.

Sil.

Go to thy lady’s grave and call hers thence;

Or, at the least, in hers sepulchre thine.  120

Jul.

[Aside.] He heard not that.

Pro.

Madam, if your heart be so obdurate,

Vouchsafe me yet your picture for my love,

The picture that is hanging in your chamber:

To that I’ll speak, to that I’ll sigh and weep;

For since the substance of your perfect self

Is else devoted, I am but a shadow,

And to your shadow will I make true love.  128

Jul.

[Aside.] If ’twere a substance, you would, sure, deceive it,

And make it but a shadow, as I am.

Sil.

I am very loath to be your idol, sir;

But, since your falsehood shall become you well

To worship shadows and adore false shapes,  133

Send to me in the morning and I’ll send it.

And so, good rest.

Pro.

As wretches have o’er night

That wait for execution in the morn.  136

[Exeunt Proteus, and Silvia, above.

Jul.

Host, will you go?

Host.

By my halidom, I was fast asleep.

Jul.

Pray you, where lies Sir Proteus?

Host.

Marry, at my house. Trust me, I think ’tis almost day.  141

Jul.

Not so; but it hath been the longest night

That e’er I watch’d and the most heaviest.

[Exeunt.

Scene III.— The Same.

Enter Eglamour.

Egl.

This is the hour that Madam Silvia

Entreated me to call, and know her mind:

There’s some great matter she’d employ me in.

Madam, Madam!

Enter Silvia above, at her window.

Sil.

Who calls?

Egl.

Your servant, and your friend;  4

One that attends your ladyship’s command.

Sil.

Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good morrow.

Egl.

As many, worthy lady, to yourself.

According to your ladyship’s impose,  8

I am thus early come to know what service

It is your pleasure to command me in.

Sil.

O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman—

Think not I flatter, for I swear I do not—  12

Valiant, wise, remorseful, well-accomplish’d.

Thou art not ignorant what dear good will

I bear unto the banish’d Valentine,

Nor how my father would enforce me marry  16

Vain Thurio, whom my very soul abhors.

Thyself hast lov’d; and I have heard thee say

No grief did ever come so near thy heart

As when thy lady and thy true love died,  20

Upon whose grave thou vow’dst pure chastity.

Sir Eglamour, I would to Valentine,

To Mantua, where, I hear he makes abode;

And, for the ways are dangerous to pass,  24

I do desire thy worthy company,

Upon whose faith and honour I repose.

Urge not my father’s anger, Eglamour,

But think upon my grief, a lady’s grief,  28

And on the justice of my flying hence,

To keep me from a most unholy match,

Which heaven and fortune still rewards with plagues.

I do desire thee, even from a heart  32

As full of sorrows as the sea of sands,

To bear me company and go with me:

If not, to hide what I have said to thee,

That I may venture to depart alone.  36

Egl.

Madam, I pity much your grievances;

Which since I know they virtuously are plac’d,

I give consent to go along with you,

Recking as little what betideth me  40

As much I wish all good befortune you.

When will you go?

Sil.

This evening coming.

Egl.

Where shall I meet you?

Sil.

At Friar Patrick’s cell,

Where I intend holy confession.  44

Egl.

I will not fail your ladyship.

Good morrow, gentle lady.

Sil.

Good morrow, kind Sir Eglamour.

[Exeunt severally.

Scene IV.— The Same.

Enter Launce with his dog.

Launce.

When a man’s servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard; one that I brought up of a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it. I have taught him, even as one would say precisely, ‘Thus would I teach a dog.’ I was sent to deliver him as a present to Mistress Silvia from my master, and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber but he steps me to her trencher and steals her capon’s leg. O! ’tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself in all companies. I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for’t: sure as I live, he had suffered for’t: you shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentleman-like dogs under the duke’s table: he had not been there—bless the mark—a pissing-while, but all the chamber smelt him. ‘Out with the dog!’ says one; ‘What cur is that?’ says another; ‘Whip him out,’ says the third; ‘Hang him up,’ says the duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs: ‘Friend,’ quoth I, ‘you mean to whip the dog?’ ‘Ay, marry, do I,’ quoth he. ‘You do him the more wrong,’ quoth I; ‘’twas I did the thing you wot of.’ He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for his servant? Nay, I’ll be sworn, I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed; I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for’t; thou thinkest not of this now. Nay, I remember the trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg and make water against a gentlewoman’s farthingale? Didst thou ever see me do such a trick?  44

Enter Proteus, and Julia in boy’s clothes.

Pro.

Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well

And will employ thee in some service presently.

Jul.

In what you please: I will do what I can.

Pro.

I hope thou wilt. [To Launce.] How now, you whoreson peasant!  48

Where have you been these two days loitering?

Launce.

Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.

Pro.

And what says she to my little jewel?  52

Launce.

Marry, she says, your dog was a cur, and tells you, currish thanks is good enough for such a present.

Pro.

But she received my dog?  56

Launce

No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him back again.

Pro.

What! didst thou offer her this from me?

Launce.

Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman boys in the marketplace; and then I offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater.  64

Pro.

Go, get thee hence, and find my dog again,

Or ne’er return again into my sight.

Away, I say! Stay’st thou to vex me here?

A slave that still an end turns me to shame.  68

[Exit Launce.

Sebastian, I have entertained thee

Partly, that I have need of such a youth,

That can with some discretion do my business,

For’t is no trusting to yond foolish lout;  72

But chiefly for thy face and thy behaviour,

Which, if my augury deceive me not,

Witness good bringing up, fortune, and truth:

Therefore, know thou, for this I entertain thee.

Go presently, and take this ring with thee.  77

Deliver it to Madam Silvia:

She lov’d me well deliver’d it to me.

Jul

It seems, you lov’d not her, to leave her token.  80

She’s dead, belike?

Pro.

Not so: I think, she lives.

Jul.

Alas!

Pro.

Why dost thou cry ‘alas?’

Jul.

I cannot choose

But pity her.  84

Pro.

Wherefore should’st thou pity her?

Jul.

Because methinks that she lov’d you as well

As you do love your lady Silvia.

She dreams on him that has forgot her love;  88

You dote on her, that cares not for your love.

’Tis pity, love should be so contrary;

And thinking on it makes me cry, ‘alas!’

Pro.

Well, well, give her that ring and therewithal  92

This letter: that’s her chamber. Tell my lady

I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.

Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,

Where thou shalt find me sad and solitary.

[Exit.

Jul.

How many women would do such a message?  97

Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertain’d

A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs.

Alas, poor fool! why do I pity him  100

That with his very heart despiseth me?

Because he loves her, he despiseth me;

Because I love him, I must pity him.

This ring I gave him when he parted from me,

To bind him to remember my good will;  105

And now am I—unhappy messenger—

To plead for that which I would not obtain,

To carry that which I would have refus’d,  108

To praise his faith which I would have disprais’d.

I am my master’s true-confirmed love,

But cannot be true servant to my master,

Unless I prove false traitor to myself.  112

Yet will I woo for him; but yet so coldly

As heaven it knows, I would not have him speed.

Enter Silvia, attended.

Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you, be my mean

To bring me where to speak with Madam Silvia.

Sil.

What would you with her, if that I be she?

Jul.

If you be she, I do entreat your patience To hear me speak the message I am sent on.

Sil.

From whom?  120

Jul.

From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.

Sil

O! he sends you for a picture?

Jul.

Ay, madam.

Sil.

Ursula, bring my picture there.  124

[A picture brought.

Go, give your master this: tell him from me,

One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,

Would better fit his chamber than this shadow.

Jul.

Madam, please you peruse this letter.—

Pardon me, madam, I have unadvis’d  129

Deliver’d you a paper that I should not:

This is the letter to your ladyship.

Sil.

I pray thee, let me look on that again.

Jul.

It may not be: good madam, pardon me.

Sil.

There, hold.

I will not look upon your master’s lines:

I know, they are stuff’d with protestations  136

And full of new-found oaths, which he will break

As easily as I do tear his paper.

Jul.

Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.

Sil.

The more shame for him that he sends it me;  140

For, I have heard him say a thousand times,

His Julia gave it him at his departure.

Though his false finger have profan’d the ring,

Mine shall not do his Julia so much wrong.  144

Jul.

She thanks you.

Sil

What say’st thou?

Jul.

I thank you, madam, that you tender her.

Poor gentlewoman! my master wrongs her much.  148

Sil.

Dost thou know her?

Jul.

Almost as well as I do know myself:

To think upon her woes, I do protest

That I have wept a hundred several times.  152

Sil.

Belike, she thinks, that Proteus hath forsook her.

Jul.

I think she doth, and that’s her cause of sorrow.

Sil.

Is she not passing fair?  155

Jul.

She hath been fairer, madam, than she is.

When she did think my master lov’d her well,

She, in my judgment, was as fair as you;

But since she did neglect her looking-glass

And threw her sun-expelling mask away,  160

The air hath starv’d the roses in her cheeks

And pinch’d the lily-tincture of her face,

That now she is become as black as I.

Sil.

How tall was she?  164

Jul.

About my stature; for, at Pentecost,

When all our pageants of delight were play’d,

Our youth got me to play the woman’s part,

And I was trimm’d in Madam Julia’s gown,  168

Which served me as fit, by all men’s judgments,

As if the garment had been made for me:

Therefore I know she is about my height.

And at that time I made her weep agood;  172

For I did play a lamentable part.

Madam, ’twas Ariadne passioning

For Theseus’ perjury and unjust flight;

Which I so lively acted with my tears  176

That my poor mistress, moved therewithal,

Wept bitterly, and would I might be dead

If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!

Sil.

She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.—

Alas, poor lady, desolate and left!  181

I weep myself to think upon thy words.

Here, youth, there is my purse: I give thee this

For thy sweet mistress’ sake, because thou lov’st her.  184

Farewell.

Jul.

And she shall thank you for’t, if e’er you know her.—

[Exit Silvia, with Attendants.

A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful.

I hope my master’s suit will be but cold,  188

Since she respects my mistress’ love so much.

Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

Here is her picture: let me see; I think,

If I had such a tire, this face of mine  192

Were full as lovely as is this of hers;

And yet the painter flatter’d her a little,

Unless I flatter with myself too much.

Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow:  196

If that be all the difference in his love

I’ll get me such a colour’d periwig.

Her eyes are grey as glass, and so are mine:

Ay, but her forehead’s low, and mine’s as high.

What should it be that he respects in her  201

But I can make respective in myself,

If this fond Love were not a blinded god?

Come, shadow, come, and take this shadow up,

For ’tis thy rival. O thou senseless form!  205

Thou shalt be worshipp’d, kiss’d, lov’d, and ador’d,

And, were there sense in his idolatry,

My substance should be statue in thy stead.  208

I’ll use thee kindly for thy mistress’ sake,

That us’d me so; or else, by Jove I vow,

I should have scratch’d out your unseeing eyes,

To make my master out of love with thee.

[Exit.

ACT V.

Scene I.— Milan. An Abbey.

Enter Eglamour.

Egl.

The sun begins to gild the western sky,

And now it is about the very hour

That Silvia at Friar Patrick’s cell should meet me.

She will not fail; for lovers break not hours,  4

Unless it be to come before their time,

So much they spur their expedition.

See, where she comes.

Enter Silvia.

Lady, a happy evening!

Sil.

Amen, amen! go on, good Eglamour,  8

Out at the postern by the abbey-wall.

I fear I am attended by some spies.

Egl.

Fear not: the forest is not three leagues off;

If we recover that, we’re sure enough.

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— The Same. A Room in the Duke’s Palace.

Enter Thurio, Proteus, and Julia.

Thu.

Sir Proteus, what says Silvia to my suit?

Pro.

O, sir, I find her milder than she was;

And yet she takes exceptions at your person.

Thu.

What! that my leg is too long?  4

Pro.

No, that it is too little.

Thu.

I’ll wear a boot to make it somewhat rounder.

Jul.

[Aside.] But love will not be spurr’d to what it loathes.

Thu.

What says she to my face?  8

Pro.

She says it is a fair one.

Thu.

Nay then, the wanton lies; my face is black.

Pro.

But pearls are fair, and the old saying is,

‘Black men are pearls in beauteous ladies’ eyes.’

Jul.

[Aside.] ’Tis true, such pearls as put out ladies’ eyes;  13

For I had rather wink than look on them.

Thu.

How likes she my discourse?

Pro.

Ill, when you talk of war.  16

Thu.

But well, when I discourse of love and peace?

Jul.

[Aside.] But better, indeed, when you hold your peace.

Thu.

What says she to my valour?

Pro.

O, sir, she makes no doubt of that.  20

Jul.

[Aside.] She needs not, when she knows it cowardice.

Thu.

What says she to my birth?

Pro.

That you are well deriv’d.

Jul.

[Aside.] True; from a gentleman to a fool.  24

Thu.

Considers she my possessions?

Pro.

O, ay; and pities them.

Thu.

Wherefore?

Jul.

[Aside.] That such an ass should owe them.  28

Pro.

That they are out by lease.

Jul.

Here comes the duke.

Enter Duke.

Duke.

How now, Sir Proteus! how now, Thurio!

Which of you saw Sir Eglamour of late?  32

Thu.

Not I.

Pro.

Nor I.

Duke.

Saw you my daughter?

Pro.

Neither.

Duke

Why then,

She’s fled unto that peasant Valentine,

And Eglamour is in her company.  36

’Tis true; for Friar Laurence met them both,

As he in penance wander’d through the forest;

Him he knew well, and guess’d that it was she,

But, being mask’d, he was not sure of it;  40

Besides, she did intend confession

At Patrick’s cell this even, and there she was not.

These likelihoods confirm her flight from hence.

Therefore, I pray you, stand not to discourse,  44

But mount you presently and meet with me

Upon the rising of the mountain-foot,

That leads towards Mantua, whither they are fled.

Dispatch, sweet gentlemen, and follow me.

[Exit.

Thu.

Why, this it is to be a peevish girl,

That flies her fortune when it follows her.  50

I’ll after, more to be reveng’d on Eglamour

Than for the love of reckless Silvia.

[Exit.

Pro.

And I will follow, more for Silvia’s love

Than hate of Eglamour that goes with her.

[Exit.

Jul.

And I will follow, more to cross that love

Than hate for Silvia that is gone for love.

[Exit.

Scene III.— Frontiers of Mantua. The Forest.

Enter Outlaws with Silvia.

First Out.

Come, come,

Be patient; we must bring you to our captain.

Sil.

A thousand more mischances than this one

Have learn’d me how to brook this patiently.  4

Second Out.

Come, bring her away.

First Out.

Where is the gentleman that was with her?

Third Out.

Being nimble-footed, he hath outrun us;

But Moyses and Valerius follow him.  8

Go thou with her to the west end of the wood;

There is our captain. We’ll follow him that’s fled:

The thicket is beset; he cannot ’scape.

[Exeunt all except the First Outlaw and Silvia.

First Out.

Come, I must bring you to our captain’s cave.  12

Fear not; he bears an honourable mind,

And will not use a woman lawlessly.

Sil.

O Valentine! this I endure for thee.

[Exeunt.

Scene IV.— Another Part of the Forest.

Enter Valentine.

Val.

How use doth breed a habit in a man!

This shadowy desart, unfrequented woods,

I better brook than flourishing peopled towns.

Here can I sit alone, unseen of any,  4

And to the nightingale’s complaining notes

Tune my distresses and record my woes.

O thou that dost inhabit in my breast,

Leave not the mansion so long tenantless,  8

Lest, growing ruinous, the building fall

And leave no memory of what it was!

Repair me with thy presence, Silvia!  11

Thou gentle nymph, cherish thy forlorn swain!

[Noise within.

What halloing and what stir is this to-day?

These are my mates, that make their wills their law,

Have some unhappy passenger in chase.

They love me well; yet I have much to do  16

To keep them from uncivil outrages.

Withdraw thee, Valentine: who’s this comes here?

[Steps aside.

Enter Proteus, Silvia, and Julia.

Pro

Madam, this service I have done for you—

Though you respect not aught your servant doth—  20

To hazard life and rescue you from him

That would have forc’d your honour and your love.

Vouchsafe me, for my meed, but one fair look;

A smaller boon than this I cannot beg,  24

And less than this, I am sure, you cannot give.

Val.

[Aside.] How like a dream is this I see and hear!

Love, lend me patience to forbear awhile.

Sil.

O, miserable, unhappy that I am!  28

Pro.

Unhappy were you, madam, ere I came;

But by my coming I have made you happy.

Sil.

By thy approach thou mak’st me most unhappy.

Jul.

[Aside.] And me, when he approacheth to your presence.  32

Sil.

Had I been seized by a hungry lion,

I would have been a breakfast to the beast,

Rather than have false Proteus rescue me.

O! heaven be judge how I love Valentine,  36

Whose life’s as tender to me as my soul,

And full as much—for more there cannot be—

I do detest false perjur’d Proteus.

Therefore be gone, solicit me no more.  40

Pro.

What dangerous action, stood it next to death,

Would I not undergo for one calm look!

O, ’tis the curse in love, and still approv’d,

When women cannot love where they’re belov’d!  44

Sil.

When Proteus cannot love where he’s belov’d.

Read over Julia’s heart, thy first best love,

For whose dear sake thou didst then rend thy faith

Into a thousand oaths; and all those oaths  48

Descended into perjury to love me.

Thou hast no faith left now, unless thou’dst two,

And that’s far worse than none: better have none

Than plural faith which is too much by one.  52

Thou counterfeit to thy true friend!

Pro.

In love

Who respects friend?

Sil.

All men but Proteus.

Pro.

Nay, if the gentle spirit of moving words

Can no way change you to a milder form,  56

I’ll woo you like a soldier, at arms’ end,

And love you ’gainst the nature of love,—force ye.

Sil.

O heaven!

Pro.

I’ll force thee yield to my desire.

Val.

[Coming forward.] Ruffian, let go that rude uncivil touch;  60

Thou friend of an ill fashion!

Pro.

Valentine!

Val.

Thou common friend, that’s without faith or love—

For such is a friend now—treach’rous man!

Thou hast beguil’d my hopes: naught but mine eye  64

Could have persuaded me. Now I dare not say

I have one friend alive: thou wouldst disprove me.

Who should be trusted now, when one’s right hand

Is perjur’d to the bosom? Proteus,  68

I am sorry I must never trust thee more,

But count the world a stranger for thy sake.

The private wound is deep’st. O time most curst!

’Mongst all foes that a friend should be the worst!

Pro.

My shame and guilt confound me.  73

Forgive me, Valentine. If hearty sorrow

Be a sufficient ransom for offence,

I tender’t here: I do as truly suffer  76

As e’er I did commit.

Val.

Then, I am paid;

And once again I do receive thee honest.

Who by repentance is not satisfied

Is nor of heaven, nor earth; for these are pleas’d.

By penitence the Eternal’s wrath’s appeas’d:  81

And, that my love may appear plain and free,

All that was mine in Silvia I give thee.

Jul.

O me unhappy!

[Swoons.

Pro.

Look to the boy.  85

Val.

Why, boy! why, wag! how now! what’s the matter?

Look up; speak.

Jul.

O good sir, my master charg’d me  88

To deliver a ring to Madam Silvia,

Which out of my neglect was never done.

Pro.

Where is that ring, boy?

Jul.

Here ’tis this is it.

[Gives a ring.

Pro.

How! let me see.  92

Why this is the ring I gave to Julia.

Jul.

O, cry you mercy, sir; I have mistook:

This is the ring you sent to Silvia.

[Shows another ring.

Pro.

But how cam’st thou by this ring?  96

At my depart I gave this unto Julia.

Jul.

And Julia herself did give it me;

And Julia herself hath brought it hither.

Pro.

How! Julia!  100

Jul.

Behold her that gave aim to all thy oaths,

And entertain’d them deeply in her heart:

How oft hast thou with perjury cleft the root!

O Proteus! let this habit make thee blush.  104

Be thou asham’d that I have took upon me

Such an immodest raiment; if shame live

In a disguise of love.

It is the lesser blot, modesty finds,  108

Women to change their shapes than men their minds.

Pro.

Than men their minds! ’tis true. O heaven! were man

But constant, he were perfect: that one error

Fills him with faults; makes him run through all the sins:  112

Inconstancy falls off ere it begins.

What is in Silvia’s face, but I may spy

More fresh in Julia’s with a constant eye?

Val.

Come, come, a hand from either.  116

Let me be blest to make this happy close:

’Twere pity two such friends should be long foes.

Pro.

Bear witness, heaven, I have my wish, for ever.

Jul.

And I mine.  120

Enter Outlaws with Duke and Thurio.

Out.

A prize! a prize! a prize!

Val.

Forbear, forbear, I say; it is my lord the duke.

Your Grace is welcome to a man disgrac’d,

Banished Valentine.

Duke.

Sir Valentine!  124

Thu.

Yonder is Silvia; and Silvia’s mine.

Val.

Thurio, give back, or else embrace thy death;

Come not within the measure of my wrath;

Do not name Silvia thine; if once again,  128

Verona shall not hold thee. Here she stands;

Take but possession of her with a touch;

I dare thee but to breathe upon my love.

Thu.

Sir Valentine, I care not for her, I.  132

I hold him but a fool that will endanger

His body for a girl that loves him not:

I claim her not, and therefore she is thine.  135

Duke.

The more degenerate and base art thou,

To make such means for her as thou hast done,

And leave her on such slight conditions.

Now, by the honour of my ancestry,

I do applaud thy spirit, Valentine,  140

And think thee worthy of an empress’ love.

Know then, I here forget all former griefs,

Cancel all grudge, repeal thee home again,

Plead a new state in thy unrivall’d merit,  144

To which I thus subscribe: Sir Valentine,

Thou art a gentleman and well deriv’d;

Take thou thy Silvia, for thou hast deserv’d her.

Val.

I thank your Grace; the gift hath made me happy.  148

I now beseech you, for your daughter’s sake,

To grant one boon that I shall ask of you.

Duke.

I grant it, for thine own, whate’er it be.

Val.

These banish’d men, that I have kept withal  152

Are men endu’d with worthy qualities:

Forgive them what they have committed here,

And let them be recall’d from their exile.

They are reformed, civil, full of good,  156

And fit for great employment, worthy lord.

Duke.

Thou hast prevail’d; I pardon them, and thee:

Dispose of them as thou know’st their deserts.

Come, let us go: we will include all jars  160

With triumphs, mirth, and rare solemnity.

Val.

And as we walk along, I dare be bold

With our discourse to make your Grace to smile.

What think you of this page, my lord?  164

Duke.

I think the boy hath grace in him: he blushes.

Val.

I warrant you, my lord, more grace than boy.

Duke.

What mean you by that saying?

Val.

Please you, I’ll tell you as we pass along,

That you will wonder what hath fortuned.  169

Come, Proteus; ’tis your penance, but to hear

The story of your loves discovered:

That done, our day of marriage shall be yours;

One feast, one house, one mutual happiness.  173

[Exeunt.

 


 

THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

Sir John Falstaff.
Fenton, a young Gentleman.
Shallow, a Country Justice.
Slender, Cousin to Shallow.
Ford, } two Gentlemen dwelling at Windsor.
Page,  }
William Page, a Boy, Son to Page.
Sir Hugh Evans, a Welsh Parson.
Doctor Caius, a French Physician.
Host of the Garter Inn.
Bardolph, Pistol, Nym, Followers of Falstaff.
Robin, Page to Falstaff.
Simple, Servant to Slender.
Rugby, Servant to Doctor Caius.
Mistress Ford.
Mistress Page.
Anne Page, her Daughter, in love with Fenton.
Mistress Quickly, Servant to Doctor Caius.
Servants to Page, Ford, &c.

 


 

Scene.Windsor; and the Neighbourhood.

ACT I.

Scene I.— Windsor. Before Page’s House.

Enter Justice Shallow, Slender, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Shal.

Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-chamber matter of it; if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.  4

Slen.

In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, and coram.

Shal.

Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-alorum.

Slen.

Ay, and rato-lorum too; and a gentleman born, Master Parson; who writes himself armigero, in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation,—armigero.  11

Shal.

Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years.

Slen.

All his successors gone before him hath done’t; and all his ancestors that come after him may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat.  17

Shal.

It is an old coat.

Eva.

The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love.  21

Shal.

The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.

Slen.

I may quarter, coz?  24

Shal.

You may, by marrying.

Eva.

It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

Shal.

Not a whit.

Eva.

Yes, py’r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the Church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compremises between you.  34

Shal.

The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.

Eva.

It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot. The Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.

Shal.

Ha! o’ my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.  41

Eva.

It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it; and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity.

Slen.

Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.  49

Eva.

It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death’s-bed,—Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!—give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

Shal.

Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?  60

Eva.

Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

Shal.

I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.  64

Eva.

Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.

Shal.

Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?  68

Eva.

Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a har as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page. [Knocks.] What, hoa! Got pless your house here!

Page.

[Within ] Who’s there?  76

Eva

Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend. and Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.  80

Enter Page.

Page.

I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

Shal.

Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?—and I thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.

Page.

Sir, I thank you.  88

Shal.

Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

Page.

I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

Slen.

How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun on Cotsall.  93

Page.

It could not be judged, sir.

Slen.

You’ll not confess, you’ll not confess.

Shal.

That he will not: ’tis your fault, ’tis your fault. ’Tis a good dog.  97

Page.

A cur, sir.

Shal.

Sir, he’s a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?  101

Page.

Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.

Eva.

It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

Shal.

He hath wronged me, Master Page.  105

Page.

Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

Shal.

If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed, he hath;—at a word, he hath,—believe me: Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged.

Page.

Here comes Sir John.  112

Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol.

Fal.

Now, Master Shallow, you’ll complain of me to the king?

Shal.

Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.  116

Fal.

But not kissed your keeper’s daughter?

Shal.

Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.

Fal.

I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is now answered.  120

Shal.

The Council shall know this.

Fal.

’Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: you’ll be laughed at.

Eva.

Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.  124

Fal.

Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your head: what matter have you against me?

Slen.

Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.  132

Bard.

You Banbury cheese!

Slen.

Ay, it is no matter.

Pist.

How now, Mephistophilus!

Slen.

Ay, it is no matter.  136

Nym.

Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that’s my humour.

Slen.

Where’s Simple, my man? can you tell, cousin?  140

Eva.

Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand: there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is—Master Page, fidelicet, Master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

Page.

We three, to hear it and end it between them.  148

Eva.

Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.

Fal.

Pistol!  152

Pist.

He hears with ears.

Eva.

The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, ‘He hears with ear?’ Why, it is affectations.

Fal.

Pistol, did you pick Master Slender’s purse?  157

Slen.

Ay, by these gloves, did he,—or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else,—of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

Fal.

Is this true, Pistol?  164

Eva.

No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

Pist.

Ha, thou mountain foreigner!—Sir John and master mine,

I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.

Word of denial in thy labras here!  168

Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest.

Slen.

By these gloves, then, ’twas he.

Nym.

Be avised, sir, and pass good humours. I will say, ‘marry trap,’ with you, if you run the nuthook’s humour on me: that is the very note of it.  174

Slen.

By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.  178

Fal.

What say you, Scarlet and John?

Bard.

Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences.

Eva.

It is his ‘five senses;’ fie, what the ignorance is!  183

Bard.

And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier’d; and so conclusions pass’d the careires.

Slen.

Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but ’tis no matter. I’ll ne’er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I’ll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.  191

Eva.

So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.

Fal.

You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.  194

Enter Anne Page, with Wine; Mistress Ford and Mistress Page.

Page.

Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we’ll drink within.

[Exit Anne Page.

Slen.

O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.

Page.

How now, Mistress Ford!

Fal.

Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress.  200

[Kissing her.

Page.

Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.  204

[Exeunt all but Shallow, Slender, and Evans.

Slen.

I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs and Sonnets here.

Enter Simple.

How now, Simple! Where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about you, have you?  209

Sim.

Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon All-Hallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas?  212

Shal.

Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as ’twere a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here: do you understand me?  216

Slen.

Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable: if it be so, I shall do that that is reason.

Shal.

Nay, but understand me.

Slen.

So I do, sir.  220

Eva.

Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you pe capacity of it.

Slen.

Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says. I pray you pardon me; he’s a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.

Eva.

But that is not the question; the question is concerning your marriage.  228

Shal.

Ay, there’s the point, sir.

Eva.

Marry, is it, the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.

Slen.

Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.  233

Eva.

But can you affection the ’oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth: therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?  239

Shal.

Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?

Slen.

I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason.  243

Eva.

Nay, Got’s lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.

Shal.

That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?  248

Slen.

I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.

Shal.

Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do, is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?  253

Slen.

I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and have more occasion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, ‘Marry her,’ I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.  261

Eva.

It is a fery discretion answer; save, the faul is in the ort ‘dissolutely:’ the ort is, according to our meaning, ‘resolutely.’ His meaning is goot.

Shal.

Ay, I think my cousin meant well.

Slen.

Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!  268

Shal.

Here comes fair Mistress Anne.

Re-enter Anne Page.

Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne.

Anne.

The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships’ company.  273

Shal.

I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.

Eva.

Od’s plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.  276

[Exeunt Shallow and Evans.

Anne.

Will’t please your worship to come in, sir?

Slen.

No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.  280

Anne.

The dinner attends you, sir.

Slen.

I am not a-hungry, I thank you forsooth. Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit Simple.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholding to his friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead; but what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.  289

Anne.

I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come.

Slen.

I’ faith, I’ll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.

Anne.

I pray you, sir, walk in.  294

Slen.

I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin th’ other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes;—and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i’ the town?  301

Anne.

I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.

Slen.

I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?

Anne.

Ay, indeed, sir.  308

Slen.

That’s meat and drink to me, now: I have seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women, indeed, cannot abide ’em; they are very ill-favoured rough things.  315

Re-enter Page.

Page.

Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.

Slen.

I’ll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.

Page.

By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.  320

Slen.

Nay, pray you, lead the way.

Page.

Come on, sir.

Slen.

Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.

Anne.

Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.  324

Slen.

Truly, I will not go first: truly, la! I will not do you that wrong.

Anne.

I pray you, sir.

Slen.

I’ll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!  329

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— The Same.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple.

Eva.

Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius’ house, which is the way: and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his try nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.  5

Sim.

Well, sir.

Eva.

Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it is a ’oman that altogether’s acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master’s desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray you, be gone: I will make an end of my dinner; there’s pippins and seese to come.  13

[Exeunt.

Scene III.— A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and Robin.

Fal.

Mine host of the Garter!

Host.

What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly and wisely.

Fal.

Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.  5

Host.

Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.

Fal.

I sit at ten pounds a week.  8

Host.

Thou’rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector?

Fal.

Do so, good mine host.  12

Host.

I have spoke; let him follow. [To Bard.] Let me see thee forth and lime: I am at a word; follow.

[Exit.

Fal.

Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered serving-man, a fresh tapster. Go; adieu.

Bard.

It is a life that I have desired. I will thrive.  20

Pist.

O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield?

[Exit Bard.

Nym.

He was gotten in drink; is not the humour conceited?  24

Fal.

I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful singer; he kept not time.

Nym.

The good humour is to steal at a minim’s rest.  29

Pist.

‘Convey,’ the wise it call. ‘Steal!’ foh! a fico for the phrase!

Fal.

Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.  32

Pist.

Why, then, let kibes ensue.

Fal.

There is no remedy; I must conycatch, I must shift.

Pist.

Young ravens must have food.  36

Fal.

Which of you know Ford of this town?

Pist.

I ken the wight: he is of substance good.

Fal.

My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.  41

Pist.

Two yards, and more.

Fal.

No quips now, Pistol! Indeed, I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford’s wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is, ‘I am Sir John Falstaff’s.’  51

Pist.

He hath studied her well, and translated her well, out of honesty into English.

Nym.

The anchor is deep: will that humour pass?  55

Fal.

Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband’s purse; he hath a legion of angels.

Pist.

As many devils entertain, and ‘To her, boy,’ say I.  60

Nym.

The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels.

Fal.

I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page’s wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious œilliades: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.

Pist.

Then did the sun on dunghill shine.  68

Nym.

I thank thee for that humour.

Fal.

O! she did so course o’er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass. Here’s another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be ’cheator to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me: they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive.  80

Pist.

Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,

And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all!

Nym.

I will run no base humour: here, take the humour-letter. I will keep the haviour of reputation.  85

Fal.

[To Robin.] Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly:

Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.

Rogues, hence! avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;

Trudge, plod away o’the hoof; seek shelter, pack!

Falstaff will learn the humour of this age,

French thrift, you rogues: myself and skirted page.

[Exeunt Falstaff and Robin.

Pist.

Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds,  92

And high and low beguile the rich and poor.

Tester I’ll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,

Base Phrygian Turk!

Nym.

I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge.  97

Pist.

Wilt thou revenge?

Nym.

By welkin and her star!

Pist.

With wit or steel?  100

Nym.

With both the humours, I:

I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.

Pist.

And I to Ford shall eke unfold

How Falstaff, varlet vile,  104

His dove will prove, his gold will hold,

And his soft couch defile.

Nym.

My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous: that is my true humour.  110

Pist.

Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on.

[Exeunt.

Scene IV.— A Room in Doctor Caius’s House.

Enter Mistress Quickly and Simple.

Quick.

What, John Rugby!—

Enter Rugby.

I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in the house, here will be an old abusing of God’s patience and the king’s English.  6

Rug.

I’ll go watch.

Quick.

Go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. [Exit Rugby.] An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way, but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is?  16

Sim.

Ay, for fault of a better.

Quick.

And Master Slender’s your master?

Sim.

Ay, forsooth.

Quick.

Does he not wear a great round beard like a glover’s paring-knife?  21

Sim.

No, forsooth: he hath but a little wheyface, with a little yellow beard—a cane-coloured beard.  24

Quick.

A softly-sprighted man, is he not?

Sim.

Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head: he hath fought with a warrener.  28

Quick.

How say you?—O! I should remember him: does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?

Sim.

Yes, indeed, does he.  32

Quick.

Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish—  36

Re-enter Rugby.

Rug.

Out, alas! here comes my master.

Quick.

We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. [Shuts Simple in the closet.] He will not stay long. What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home. [Exit Rugby.] [Sings.]

‘And down, down, adown-a,’ &c.  44

Enter Doctor Caius.

Caius.

Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet une boitine verde; a box, a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.  48

Quick.

Ay, forsooth; I’ll fetch it you. [Aside.] I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad.

Caius.

Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais à la cour,—la grande affaire.  54

Quick.

Is it this, sir?

Caius.

Oui; mettez le au mon pocket; dépêchez, quickly.—Vere is dat knave Rugby?

Quick.

What, John Rugby! John!  58

Re-enter Rugby.

Rug.

Here, sir.

Caius.

You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.

Rug.

’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.  63

Caius.

By my trot, I tarry too long.—Od’s me! Qu’ay j’oublié? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for de varld I shall leave behind.  67

Quick.

[Aside.] Ay me! he’ll find the young man there, and be mad.

Caius.

O diable! diable! vat is in my closet?—Villain! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, my rapier!  72

Quick.

Good master, be content.

Caius.

Verefore shall I be content-a?

Quick.

The young man is an honest man.

Caius.

Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet.  78

Quick.

I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.  81

Caius.

Vell.

Sim.

Ay, forsooth, to desire her to—

Quick.

Peace, I pray you.  84

Caius.

Peace-a your tongue!—Speak-a your tale.

Sim.

To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage.  89

Quick.

This is all, indeed, la! but I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and need not.

Caius.

Sir Hugh send-a you?—Rugby, baillez me some paper: tarry you a little-a while.  93

[Writes.

Quick.

I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy. But, notwithstanding, man, I’ll do your master what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,—I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself,—  102

Sim.

’Tis a great charge to come under one body’s hand.

Quick.

Are you avis’d o’ that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding,—to tell you in your ear,—I would have no words of it,—my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind, that’s neither here nor there.  111

Caius.

You jack’nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a challenge: I vill cut his troat in de Park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here: by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog.

[Exit Simple.

Quick.

Alas! he speaks but for his friend.  119

Caius.

It is no matter-a for dat:—do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jartiere to measure our weapon. By gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.

Quick.

Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer!  127

Caius.

Rugby, come to the court vit me. By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby.

[Exeunt Caius and Rugby.

Quick.

You shall have An fool’s-head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.

Fent.

[Within.] Who’s within there? ho!  136

Quick.

Who’s there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.

Enter Fenton.

Fent.

How now, good woman! how dost thou?

Quick.

The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.  141

Fent.

What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne?

Quick.

In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.

Fent.

Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit?  149

Quick.

Troth, sir, all is in his hands above; but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?  153

Fent.

Yes, marry have I; what of that?

Quick.

Well, thereby hangs a tale. Good faith, it is such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread: we had an hour’s talk of that wart. I shall never laugh but in that maid’s company;—but, indeed, she is given too much to allicholy and musing. But for you—well, go to.  161

Fent.

Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there’s money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me.  165

Quick.

Will I? i’ faith, that we will: and I will tell your worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers.  169

Fent.

Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.

Quick.

Farewell to your worship.—[Exit Fenton.] Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne’s mind as well as another does. Out upon’t! what have I forgot?

[Exit.

ACT II.

Scene I.— Before Page’s House.

Enter Mistress Page, with a Letter.

Mrs. Page.

What! have I ’scaped love-letters in the holiday-time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me see.

Ask me no reason why I love you; for though Love use Reason for his physician, he admits him not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there’s sympathy; you are merry, so am I, ha! ha! then, there’s more sympathy, you love sack, and so do I, would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page, at the least, if the love of a soldier can suffice, that I love thee I will not say, pity me,—’tis not a soldier-like phrase; but I say, love me. By me,

Thine own true knight,

By day or night,  16

Or any kind of light,

With all his might

For thee to fight,

4330.

John Falstaff.

What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked world! one that is well-nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard picked, with the devil’s name! out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company! What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my mirth:—heaven forgive me! Why, I’ll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men. How shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.  32

Enter Mistress Ford.

Mrs. Ford.

Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house.

Mrs. Page.

And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill.  36

Mrs. Ford.

Nay, I’ll ne’er believe that: I have to show to the contrary.

Mrs. Page.

Faith, but you do, in my mind.

Mrs. Ford.

Well, I do then; yet, I say I could show you to the contrary. O, Mistress Page! give me some counsel.  42

Mrs. Page.

What’s the matter, woman?

Mrs. Ford.

O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour!  45

Mrs. Page.

Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour. What is it?—dispense with trifles;—what is it?  48

Mrs. Ford.

If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so, I could be knighted.

Mrs. Page.

What? thou liest. Sir Alice Ford! These knights will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.  53

Mrs. Ford.

We burn daylight: here, read, read; perceive how I might be knighted. I shall think the worse of fat men as long as I have an eye to make difference of men’s liking: and yet he would not swear; praised women’s modesty; and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere and keep place together than the Hundredth Psalm to the tune of ‘Green Sleeves.’ What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like?  70

Mrs. Page.

Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here’s the twin brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant, he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names, sure more, and these are of the second edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two: I had rather be a grantess, and lie under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.  83

Mrs. Ford.

Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very words. What doth he think of us?

Mrs. Page.

Nay, I know not: it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I’ll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.

Mrs. Ford.

Boarding call you it? I’ll be sure to keep him above deck.  93

Mrs. Page.

So will I: if he come under my hatches, I’ll never to sea again. Let’s be revenged on him: let’s appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his suit, and lead him on with a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawned his horses to mine host of the Garter.  99

Mrs. Ford.

Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him, that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy.

Mrs. Page.

Why, look, where he comes; and my good man too: he’s as far from jealousy, as I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance.

Mrs. Ford.

You are the happier woman.  108

Mrs. Page.

Let’s consult together against this greasy knight. Come hither.

[They retire.

Enter Ford, Pistol, Page, and Nym.

Ford.

Well, I hope it be not so.

Pist.

Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs:  112

Sir John affects thy wife.

Ford.

Why, sir, my wife is not young.

Pist.

He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,

Both young and old, one with another, Ford.  116

He loves the galimaufry: Ford, perpend.

Ford.

Love my wife!

Pist.

With liver burning hot: prevent, or go thou,

Like Sir Actæon he, with Ringwood at thy heels.—

O! odious is the name!  121

Ford.

What name, sir?

Pist.

The horn, I say. Farewell:

Take heed; have open eye, for thieves do foot by night:  124

Take heed, ere summer comes or cuckoo-birds do sing.

Away, sir Corporal Nym!

Believe it, Page; he speaks sense.

[Exit.

Ford.

[Aside.] I will be patient: I will find out this.  129

Nym.

[To Page.] And this is true; I like not the humour of lying. He hath wronged me in some humours: I should have borne the humoured letter to her, but I have a sword and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife; there’s the short and the long. My name is Corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch ’tis true: my name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife. Adieu. I love not the humour of bread and cheese; and there’s the humour of it. Adieu.

[Exit.

Page.

[Aside.] ‘The humour of it,’ quoth’a! here’s a fellow frights humour out of his wits.  142

Ford.

I will seek out Falstaff.

Page.

I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue.  145

Ford.

If I do find it: well.

Page.

I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest o’ the town commended him for a true man.  149

Ford.

’Twas a good sensible fellow: well.

Page.

How now, Meg!

Mrs. Page.

Whither go you, George?—Hark you.  153

Mrs. Ford.

How now, sweet Frank! why art thou melancholy?

Ford.

I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get you home, go.  157

Mrs. Ford.

Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now. Will you go, Mistress Page?

Mrs. Page.

Have with you. You’ll come to dinner, George? [Aside to Mrs. Ford.] Look, who comes yonder: she shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.

Mrs. Ford.

Trust me, I thought on her: she’ll fit it.  165

Enter Mistress Quickly.

Mrs. Page.

You are come to see my daughter Anne?

Quick.

Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good Mistress Anne?  169

Mrs. Page.

Go in with us, and see: we’d have an hour’s talk with you.

[Exeunt Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and Mistress Quickly.

Page.

How now, Master Ford!  172

Ford.

You heard what this knave told me, did you not?

Page.

Yes; and you heard what the other told me?  176

Ford.

Do you think there is truth in them?

Page.

Hang ’em, slaves! I do not think the knight would offer it: but these that accuse him in his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his discarded men; very rogues, now they be out of service.

Ford.

Were they his men?

Page.

Marry, were they.  184

Ford.

I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at the Garter?

Page.

Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head.

Ford.

I do not misdoubt my wife, but I would be loth to turn them together. A man may be too confident: I would have nothing ‘lie on my head:’ I cannot be thus satisfied.  194

Page.

Look, where my ranting host of the Garter comes. There is either liquor in his pate or money in his purse when he looks so merrily.—  198

Enter Host and Shallow.

How now, mine host!

Host.

How now, bully-rook! thou’rt a gentleman. Cavaliero-justice, I say!  201

Shal.

I follow, mine host, I follow. Good even and twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will you go with us? we have sport in hand.  204

Host.

Tell him, cavaliero-justice; tell him, bully-rook.

Shal.

Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor.  209

Ford.

Good mine host o’ the Garter, a word with you.

Host.

What sayest thou, my bully-rook?  212

[They go aside.

Shal.

[To Page.] Will you go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons, and, I think, hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.

[They go aside.

Host.

Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavalier?  220

Ford.

None, I protest: but I’ll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him and tell him my name is Brook, only for a jest.

Host.

My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook. It is a merry knight. Will you go, mynheers?

Shal.

Have with you, mine host.  228

Page.

I have heard, the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier.

Shal.

Tut, sir! I could have told you more. In these times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and I know not what: ’tis the heart, Master Page; ’tis here, ’tis here. I have seen the time with my long sword I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.  236

Host.

Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag?

Page.

Have with you. I had rather hear them scold than fight.

[Exeunt Host, Shallow, and Page.

Ford.

Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wife’s frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily. She was in his company at Page’s house, and what they made there, I know not. Well, I will look further into’t; and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, ’tis labour well bestowed.

[Exit.

Scene II.— A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Falstaff and Pistol.

Fal.

I will not lend thee a penny.

Pist.

Why, then the world’s mine oyster,

Which I with sword will open.

I will retort the sum in equipage.  4

Fal.

Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow Nym; or else you had looked through the grate, like a geminy of baboons. I am damned in hell for swearing to gentlemen my friends, you were good soldiers and tall fellows; and when Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took’t upon mine honour thou hadst it not.  14

Pist.

Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fifteen pence?

Fal.

Reason, you rogue, reason: thinkest thou, I’ll endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me; I am no gibbet for you: go: a short knife and a throng!—to your manor of Picht-hatch! go. You’ll not bear a letter for me, you rogue!—you stand upon your honour!—Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do to keep the terms of mine honour precise. I, I, I, myself sometimes, leaving the fear of God on the left hand and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour! You will not do it, you!

Pist.

I do relent: what wouldst thou more of man?  32

Enter Robin.

Rob.

Sir, here’s a woman would speak with you.

Fal.

Let her approach.

Enter Mistress Quickly.

Quick.

Give your worship good morrow.  36

Fal.

Good morrow, good wife.

Quick.

Not so, an’t please your worship.

Fal.

Good maid, then.

Quick.

I’ll be sworn  40

As my mother was, the first hour I was born.

Fal.

I do believe the swearer. What with me?

Quick.

Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?  44

Fal.

Two thousand, fair woman; and I’ll vouchsafe thee the hearing.

Quick.

There is one Mistress Ford, sir,—I pray, come a little nearer this ways:—I myself dwell with Master Doctor Caius.  49

Fal.

Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say,—

Quick.

Your worship says very true:—I pray your worship, come a little nearer this ways.  52

Fal.

I warrant thee, nobody hears; mine own people, mine own people.

Quick.

Are they so? God bless them, and make them his servants!  56

Fal.

Well: Mistress Ford; what of her?

Quick.

Why, sir, she’s a good creature. Lord, Lord! your worship’s a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray!  60

Fal.

Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford,—

Quick.

Marry, this is the short and the long of it. You have brought her into such a canaries as ’tis wonderful: the best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary; yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches, I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly—all musk, and so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best and the fairest, that would have won any woman’s heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her. I had myself twenty angels given me this morning; but I defy all angels, in any such sort, as they say, but in the way of honesty: and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all; and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her.

Fal.

But what says she to me? be brief, my good she Mercury.  83

Quick.

Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you to notify that her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven.  88

Fal.

Ten and eleven?

Quick.

Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of: Master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; he’s a very jealousy man; she leads a very frampold life with him, good heart.

Fal.

Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her.  97

Quick.

Why, you say well. But I have another messenger to your worship: Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations to you too: and let me tell you in your ear, she’s as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe’er be the other: and she bade me tell your worship that her husband is seldom from home; but, she hopes there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man: surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth.  109

Fal.

Not I, I assure thee: setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms.

Quick.

Blessing on your heart for’t!  112

Fal.

But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford’s wife and Page’s wife acquainted each other how they love me?  115

Quick.

That were a jest indeed! they have not so little grace, I hope: that were a trick, indeed! But Mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page, of all loves: her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page; and, truly, Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does: do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will: and, truly she deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page; no remedy.  128

Fal.

Why, I will.

Quick.

Nay, but do so, then: and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and in any case have a nay-word, that you may know one another’s mind, and the boy never need to understand any thing; for ’tis not good that children should know any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world.  137

Fal.

Fare thee well: commend me to them both. There’s my purse; I am yet thy debtor.—Boy, go along with this woman.—[Exeunt Mistress Quickly and Robin.] This news distracts me.  142

Pist.

This punk is one of Cupid’s carriers.

Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights;

Give fire! she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all!

[Exit.

Fal.

Sayest thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I’ll make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let them say ’tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter.  151

Enter Bardolph, with a cup of Sack.

Bard.

Sir John, there’s one Master Brook below would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you: and hath sent your worship a morning’s draught of sack.

Fal.

Brook is his name?  156

Bard.

Ay, sir.

Fal.

Call him in. [Exit Bardolph.] Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o’erflow such liquor. Ah, ha! Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, have I encompassed you? go to; via!  161

Re-enter Bardolph, with Ford disguised.

Ford.

Bless your, sir!

Fal.

And you, sir; would you speak with me?

Ford.

I make bold to press with so little preparation upon you.  165

Fal.

You’re welcome. What’s your will?—Give us leave, drawer.

[Exit Bardolph.

Ford.

Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much: my name is Brook.  169

Fal.

Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you.

Ford.

Good Sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge you; for I must let you understand I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are: the which hath something emboldened me to this unseasoned intrusion; for, they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open.  177

Fal.

Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.

Ford.

Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me: if you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage.  183

Fal.

Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter.

Ford.

I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing.

Fal.

Speak, good Master Brook; I shall be glad to be your servant.  189

Ford.

Sir, I hear you are a scholar,—I will be brief with you, and you have been a man long known to me, though I had never so good means, as desire, to make myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection; but, good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own, that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you yourself know how easy it is to be such an offender.  200

Fal.

Very well, sir; proceed.

Ford.

There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband’s name is Ford.

Fal.

Well, sir.  204

Ford.

I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, bestowed much on her; followed her with a doting observance; engrossed opportunities to meet her; fee’d every slight occasion that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many to know what she would have given. Briefly, I have pursued her as love hath pursued me; which hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind or in my means, meed, I am sure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel that I have purchased at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to say this,

Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues;  220

Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues

Fal.

Have you received no promise of satisfaction at her hands?

Ford.

Never.  224

Fal.

Have you importuned her to such a purpose?

Ford.

Never.

Fal.

Of what quality was your love, then?  228

Ford.

Like a fair house built upon another man’s ground; so that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place where I erected it.

Fal.

To what purpose have you unfolded this to me?  233

Ford.

When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say, that though she appear honest to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her mirth so far that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your place and person, generally allowed for your many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations.

Fal.

O, sir!  244

Ford.

Believe it, for you know it. There is money; spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford’s wife: use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as any.  251

Fal.

Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.  255

Ford.

O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not present itself: she is too bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves: I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too-too strongly embattled against me. What say you to’t, Sir John?  266

Fal.

Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford’s wife.

Ford.

O good sir!

Fal.

I say you shall.  272

Ford.

Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none.

Fal.

Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her assistant or go-between parted from me: I say I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave her husband will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed.  283

Ford.

I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir?

Fal.

Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not. Yet I wrong him, to call him poor: they say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the which his wife seems to me well-favoured. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue’s coffer; and there’s my harvest-home.  292

Ford.

I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him, if you saw him.

Fal.

Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel: it shall hang like a meteor o’er the cuckold’s horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt he with his wife. Come to me soon at night. Ford’s a knave, and I will aggravate his style; thou, Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold. Come to me soon at night.

[Exit.

Ford.

What a damned Epicurean rascal is this! My heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made. Would any man have thought this? See the hell of having a false woman! My bed shall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only receive this villanous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Terms! names! Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils’ additions, the names of fiends: but Cuckold! Wittol!—Cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass: he will trust his wife; he will not be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself: then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. God be praised for my jealousy! Eleven o’clock the hour: I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it; better three hours too soon than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold!

[Exit.

Scene III.— A Field near Windsor.

Enter Caius and Rugby.

Caius.

Jack Rugby!

Rug.

Sir?

Caius.

Vat is de clock, Jack?

Rug.

’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.  5

Caius.

By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come: he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.  9

Rug.

He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him, if he came.

Caius.

By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.

Rug.

Alas, sir! I cannot fence.

Caius.

Villany, take your rapier.  16

Rug.

Forbear; here’s company.

Enter Host, Shallow, Slender, and Page.

Host.

Bless thee, bully doctor!

Shal.

Save you, Master Doctor Caius!

Page.

Now, good Master doctor!  20

Slen.

Give you good morrow, sir.

Caius.

Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?

Host.

To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my Æsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully stale? is he dead?  31

Caius.

By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he is not show his face.

Host.

Thou art a Castilian King Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy!  35

Caius.

I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.  38

Shal.

He is the wiser man, Master doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true, Master Page?  43

Page.

Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.

Shal.

Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices and doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.

Page.

’Tis true, Master Shallow.  52

Shal.

It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace: you have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me, Master doctor.

Host.

Pardon, guest-justice.—A word, Monsieur Mockwater.  60

Caius.

Mock-vater! vat is dat?

Host.

Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.

Caius.

By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as de Englishman. — Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears.

Host.

He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.

Caius.

Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?  68

Host.

That is, he will make thee amends.

Caius.

By gar, me do look, he shall clapper-de-claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it.

Host.

And I will provoke him to’t, or let him wag.  73

Caius.

Me tank you for dat.

Host.

And moreover, bully,—But first, Master guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaliero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.  77

[Aside to them.

Page.

Sir Hugh is there, is he?

Host.

He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?  81

Shal.

We will do it.

Page, Shal., and Slen.

Adieu, good Master doctor.

[Exeunt Page, Shal., and Slen.

Caius.

By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.  86

Host.

Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well?  92

Caius.

By gar, me tank you for dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.  96

Host.

For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page: said I well?

Caius.

By gar, ’tis good; vell said.

Host.

Let us wag, then.  100

Caius.

Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.

[Exeunt.

ACT III.

Scene I.— A Field near Frogmore.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple.

Eva.

I pray you now, good Master Slender’s serving-man, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic?  4

Sim.

Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the parkward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.

Eva.

I most fehemently desire you you will also look that way.  9

Sim.

I will, sir.

[Exit.

Eva.

Pless my soul! how full of chollors I am, and trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knave’s costard when I have goot opportunities for the ’ork: pless my soul!

[Sings.

To shallow rivers, to whose falls  17

Melodious birds sing madrigals;

There will we make our peds of roses,

And a thousand fragrant pasies.  20

To shallow—

Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.

[Sings.

Melodious birds sing madrigals,—

When as I sat in Pabylon,—  24

And a thousand vagram posies.

To shallow,—

Re-enter Simple.

Sim.

Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh.

Eva.

He’s welcome.

[Sings.

To shallow rivers, to whose falls—  29

Heaven prosper the right!—what weapons is he?

Sim.

No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the stile, this way.  33

Eva.

Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms.

[Reads in a book.

Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender.

Shal.

How now, Master Parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful.

Slen.

[Aside.] Ah, sweet Anne Page!  40

Page.

Save you, good Sir Hugh!

Eva.

Pless you from His mercy sake, all of you!

Shal.

What, the sword and the word! do you study them both, Master Parson?  45

Page.

And youthful still in your doublet and hose! this raw rheumatic day?

Eva.

There is reasons and causes for it.  48

Page.

We are come to you to do a good office, Master parson.

Eva.

Fery well: what is it?

Page.

Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you saw.  55

Shal.

I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.

Eva.

What is he?

Page.

I think you know him; Master Doctor Caius, the renowned French physician.  61

Eva.

Got’s will, and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.  64

Page.

Why?

Eva.

He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates and Galen,—and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave as you would desires to be acquainted withal.

Page.

I warrant you, he’s the man should fight with him.

Slen.

[Aside.] O, sweet Anne Page!  72

Shal.

It appears so, by his weapons. Keep them asunder: here comes Doctor Caius.

Enter Host, Caius, and Rugby.

Page.

Nay, good Master parson, keep in your weapon.  76

Shal.

So do you, good Master doctor.

Host.

Disarm them, and let them question: let them keep their limbs whole and hack our English.  80

Caius.

I pray you, let-a me speak a word vit your ear: verefore vill you not meet-a me?

Eva.

[Aside to Caius.] Pray you, use your patience: in good time.  84

Caius.

By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

Eva.

[Aside to Caius.] Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to other men’s humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends: [Aloud.] I will knog your urinals about your knave’s cogscomb for missing your meetings and appointments.  92

Caius.

Diable!—Jack Rugby,—mine host de Jarretierre,—have I not stay for him to kill him? have I not, at de place I did appoint?

Eva.

As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed: I’ll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.

Host.

Peace, I say, Gallia and Guallia; French and Welsh, soul-curer and body-curer!  100

Caius.

Ay, dat is very good; excellent.

Host.

Peace, I say! hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so;—give me thy hand celestial; so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of peace; follow, follow, follow.  114

Shal.

Trust me, a mad host!—Follow, gentlemen, follow.

Slen.

[Aside.] O, sweet Anne Page!

[Exeunt Shallow, Slender, Page, and Host.

Caius.

Ha! do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?  119

Eva.

This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I desire you that we may be friends and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.  124

Caius.

By gar, vit all my heart. He promise to bring me vere is Anne Page: by gar, he deceive me too.

Eva.

Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, follow.

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— A Street in Windsor.

Enter Mistress Page and Robin.

Mrs. Page.

Nay, keep your way, little gallant: you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master’s heels?  4

Rob.

I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than follow him like a dwarf.

Mrs. Page.

O! you are a flattering boy: now I see you’ll be a courtier.  8

Enter Ford.

Ford.

Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?

Mrs. Page.

Truly, sir, to see your wife: is she at home?  12

Ford.

Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.

Mrs. Page.

Be sure of that,—two other husbands.

Ford.

Where had you this pretty weathercock?

Mrs. Page.

I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of. What do you call your knight’s name, sirrah?

Rob.

Sir John Falstaff.

Ford.

Sir John Falstaff!  24

Mrs. Page.

He, he; I can never hit on’s name. There is such a league between my good man and he! Is your wife at home indeed?

Ford.

Indeed she is.  28

Mrs. Page.

By your leave, sir: I am sick till I see her.

[Exeunt Mistress Page and Robin.

Ford.

Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile, as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He pieces out his wife’s inclination; he gives her folly motion and advantage: and now she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind: and Falstaff’s boy with her! Good plots! they are laid; and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actæon; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim. [Clock strikes.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search; there I shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather praised for this than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go.  52

Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans, Caius, and Rugby.

Page, Shal., &c.

Well met, Master Ford.

Ford.

Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at home; and I pray you all go with me.

Shal.

I must excuse myself, Master Ford.  56

Slen.

And so must I, sir: we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I’ll speak of.

Shal.

We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.

Slen.

I hope I have your good will, father Page.  64

Page.

You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you: but my wife, Master doctor, is for you altogether.

Caius.

Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me: my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.  69

Host.

What say you to young Master Fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will carry’t, he will carry’t; ’tis in his buttons; he will carry’t.  74

Page.

Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having: he kept company with the wild prince and Pointz; he is of too high a region; he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance: if he take her, let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.  82

Ford.

I beseech you heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster. Master doctor, you shall go; so shall you, Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh.

Shal.

Well, fare you well: we shall have the freer wooing at Master Page’s.  89

[Exeunt Shallow and Slender.

Caius.

Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.

[Exit Rugby.

Host.

Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him.

[Exit Host.

Ford.

[Aside.] I think I shall drink in pipewine first with him; I’ll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?  96

All.

Have with you to see this monster.

[Exeunt.

Scene III.— A Room in Ford’s House.

Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page.

Mrs. Ford.

What, John! what, Robert!

Mrs. Page.

Quickly, quickly:—Is the buckbasket—

Mrs. Ford.

I warrant. What, Robin, I say!  4

Enter Servants with a Basket.

Mrs. Page.

Come, come, come.

Mrs. Ford.

Here, set it down.

Mrs. Page.

Give your men the charge; we must be brief.  8

Mrs. Ford.

Marry, as I told you before, John, and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewhouse; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and without any pause or staggering, take this basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thames side.  16

Mrs. Page.

You will do it?

Mrs. Ford.

I have told them over and over; they lack no direction. Be gone, and come when you are called.

[Exeunt Servants.

Mrs. Page.

Here comes little Robin.  21

Enter Robin.

Mrs. Ford.

How now, my eyas-musket! what news with you?

Rob.

My master, Sir John, is come in at your back-door, Mistress Ford, and requests your company.

Mrs. Page

You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been true to us?  28

Rob.

Ay, I’ll be sworn. My master knows not of your being here, and hath threatened to put me into everlasting liberty if I tell you of it; for he swears he’ll turn me away.  32

Mrs. Page.

Thou’rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee and shall make thee a new doublet and hose. I’ll go hide me.

Mrs. Ford.

Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone. [Exit Robin.] Mistress Page, remember you your cue.  38

Mrs. Page.

I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me.

[Exit.

Mrs. Ford.

Go to, then: we’ll use this unwholesome humidity, this gross watery pumpion; we’ll teach him to know turtles from jays.  44

Enter Falstaff.

Fal.

‘Have I caught my heavenly jewel?’ Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough: this is the period of my ambition: O this blessed hour!  48

Mrs. Ford.

O, sweet Sir John!

Fal.

Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would thy husband were dead. I’ll speak it before the best lord, I would make thee my lady.

Mrs. Ford.

I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady.  56

Fal.

Let the court of France show me such another. I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond: thou hast the right arched beauty of the brow that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian admittance.  61

Mrs. Ford.

A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither.  64

Fal.

By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so: thou wouldst make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it.  71

Mrs. Ford.

Believe me, there’s no such thing in me.

Fal.

What made me love thee? let that persuade thee there’s something extraordinary in thee. Come, I cannot cog and say thou art this and that, like a many of these lisping hawthornbuds, that come like women in men s apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury in simple-time; I cannot; but I love thee; none but thee; and thou deservest it.  81

Mrs. Ford.

Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love Mistress Page.

Fal.

Thou mightst as well say, I love to walk by the Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.

Mrs. Ford.

Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one day find it.  88

Fal.

Keep in that mind; I’ll deserve it.

Mrs. Ford.

Nay, I must tell you, so you do, or else I could not be in that mind.

Rob.

[Within.] Mistress Ford! Mistress Ford! here’s Mistress Page at the door, sweating and blowing and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.

Fal.

She shall not see me: I will ensconce me behind the arras.  97

Mrs. Ford.

Pray you, do so: she’s a very tattling woman.

[Falstaff hides himself.

Re-enter Mistress Page and Robin.

What’s the matter? how now!  100

Mrs. Page.

O Mistress Ford! what have you done? You’re shamed, you are overthrown, you’re undone for ever!

Mrs. Ford.

What’s the matter, good Mistress Page?  105

Mrs. Page.

O well-a-day, Mistress Ford! having an honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!  108

Mrs. Ford.

What cause of suspicion?

Mrs. Page.

What cause of suspicion! Out upon you! how am I mistook in you!

Mrs. Ford.

Why, alas, what’s the matter?  112

Mrs. Page.

Your husband’s coming hither, woman, with all the officers of Windsor, to search for a gentleman that he says is here now in the house by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: you are undone.  117

Mrs. Ford.

[Aside.] Speak louder.—’Tis not so, I hope.

Mrs. Page.

Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here! but ’tis most certain your husband’s coming with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you. If you know yourself clear, why, I am glad of it; but if you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed; call all your senses to you: defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.  128

Mrs. Ford.

What shall I do?—There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame so much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pound he were out of the house.  132

Mrs. Page.

For shame! never stand ‘you had rather’ and ‘you had rather:’ your husband’s here at hand; bethink you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot hide him. O, how have you deceived me! Look, here is a basket: if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking: or—it is whiting-time—send him by your two men to Datchet-mead.

Mrs. Ford.

He’s too big to go in there. What shall I do?  144

Fal.

[Coming forward.] Let me see’t, let me see’t, O, let me see’t! I’ll in, I’ll in. Follow your friend’s counsel. I’ll in.

Mrs. Page.

What, Sir John Falstaff! Are these your letters, knight?  149

Fal.

I love thee, and none but thee; help me away: let me creep in here. I’ll never—

[He gets into the basket; they cover him with foul linen.

Mrs. Page.

Help to cover your master, boy. Call your men, Mistress Ford. You dissembling knight!  154

Mrs. Ford.

What, John! Robert! John!

[Exit Robin.

Re-enter Servants.

Go take up these clothes here quickly; where’s the cowl-staff? look, how you drumble! carry them to the laundress in Datchet-mead; quickly, come.

Enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Ford.

Pray you, come near: if I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me; then let me be your jest; I deserve it. How now! what goes here? whither bear you this?

Serv.

To the laundress, forsooth.  163

Mrs. Ford.

Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle with buck-washing.

Ford.

Buck! I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck, buck, buck! Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck; and of the season too, it shall appear. [Exeunt Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have dreamed to-night; I’ll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers; search, seek, find out: I’ll warrant we’ll unkennel the fox. Let me stop this way first. [Locking the door.] So, now uncape.

Page.

Good Master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.  177

Ford.

True, Master Page. Up, gentlemen; you shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen.

[Exit.

Eva.

This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies.  181

Caius.

By gar, ’tis no de fashion of France; it is not jealous in France.

Page.

Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search.  185

[Exeunt Page, Caius, and Evans.

Mrs. Page.

Is there not a double excellency in this?

Mrs. Ford.

I know not which pleases me better; that my husband is deceived, or Sir John.

Mrs. Page.

What a taking was he in when your husband asked who was in the basket!  191

Mrs. Ford.

I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.

Mrs. Page.

Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same strain were in the same distress.  197

Mrs. Ford.

I think my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff’s being here; for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now.

Mrs. Page.

I will lay a plot to try that; and we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.

Mrs. Ford.

Shall we send that foolish carrion Mistress Quickly to him, and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?  207

Mrs. Page.

We will do it: let him be sent for to-morrow, eight o’clock, to have amends.  209

Re-enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Ford.

I cannot find him: may be the knave bragged of that he could not compass.

Mrs. Page.

[Aside to Mrs. Ford.] Heard you that?  213

Mrs. Ford.

[Aside to Mrs. Page.] Ay, ay, peace.—You use me well, Master Ford, do you?

Ford.

Ay, I do so.  216

Mrs. Ford.

Heaven make you better than your thoughts!

Ford.

Amen!

Mrs. Page.

You do yourself mighty wrong, Master Ford.  221

Ford.

Ay, ay; I must bear it.

Eva.

If there pe any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment!  226

Caius

By gar, nor I too, dere is no bodies.

Page.

Fie, fie, Master Ford! are you not ashamed? What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not ha’ your distemper in this kind for the wealth of Windsor Castle.

Ford.

’Tis my fault, Master Page: I suffer for it.

Eva.

You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as honest a ’omans as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.  235

Caius.

By gar, I see ’tis an honest woman.

Ford.

Well; I promised you a dinner. Come, come, walk in the Park: I pray you, pardon me; I will hereafter make known to you why I have done this. Come, wife; come, Mistress Page. I pray you, pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me.

Page.

Let’s go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we’ll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house to breakfast; after, we’ll a-birding together: I have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be so?  246

Ford.

Any thing.

Eva.

If there is one, I shall make two in the company.

Caius.

If dere be one or two, I shall make-a de turd.

Ford.

Pray you go, Master Page.  252

Eva.

I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on the lousy knave, mine host.

Caius.

Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart.

Eva.

A lousy knave! to have his gibes and his mockeries!

[Exeunt.

Scene IV.— A Room in Page’s House.

Enter Fenton, Anne Page, and Mistress Quickly. Mistress Quickly stands apart.

Fent.

I see I cannot get thy father’s love;

Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan.

Anne.

Alas! how then?

Fent.

Why, thou must be thyself.

He doth object, I am too great of birth,  4

And that my state being gall’d with my expense,

I seek to heal it only by his wealth.

Besides these, other bars he lays before me,

My riots past, my wild societies;  8

And tells me ’tis a thing impossible

I should love thee but as a property.

Anne.

May be he tells you true.

Fent.

No, heaven so speed me in my time to come!  12

Albeit I will confess thy father’s wealth

Was the first motive that I woo’d thee, Anne:

Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value

Than stamps in gold or sums in sealed bags;  16

And ’tis the very riches of thyself

That now I aim at.

Anne.

Gentle Master Fenton,

Yet seek my father’s love; still seek it, sir:

If opportunity and humblest suit  20

Cannot attain it, why, then,—hark you hither.

[They converse apart.

Enter Shallow and Slender.

Shal.

Break their talk, Mistress Quickly: my kinsman shall speak for himself.

Slen.

I’ll make a shaft or a bolt on’t. ’Slid, ’tis but venturing.  25

Shal.

Be not dismayed.

Slen.

No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, but that I am afeard.  28

Quick.

Hark ye; Master Slender would speak a word with you.

Anne.

I come to him. [Aside.] This is my father’s choice.

O, what a world of vile ill-favour’d faults  32

Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year!

Quick.

And how does good Master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you.

Shal.

She’s coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father!  37

Slen.

I had a father, Mistress Anne; my uncle can tell you good jests of him. Pray you, uncle, tell Mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.  41

Shal.

Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.

Slen.

Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in Glostershire.  44

Shal.

He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.

Slen.

Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a squire.  48

Shal.

He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

Anne.

Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself.  52

Shal.

Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I’ll leave you.

Anne.

Now, Master Slender.  56

Slen.

Now, good Mistress Anne.—

Anne.

What is your will?  58

Slen.

My will? od’s heartlings! that’s a pretty jest, indeed! I ne’er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne.

I mean, Master Slender, what would you with me?  64

Slen.

Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you. Your father and my uncle have made motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go better than I can: you may ask your father; here he comes.  70

Enter Page and Mistress Page.

Page.

Now, Master Slender: love him, daughter Anne.

Why, how now! what does Master Fenton here?

You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house:

I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos’d of.

Fent.

Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.

Mrs. Page.

Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.  76

Page.

She is no match for you.

Fent.

Sir, will you hear me?

Page.

No, good Master Fenton.

Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender, in.

Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.  80

[Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender.

Quick.

Speak to Mistress Page.

Fent.

Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter

In such a righteous fashion as I do,

Perforce, against all checks, rebukes and manners,  84

I must advance the colours of my love

And not retire: let me have your good will.

Anne.

Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool.

Mrs. Page.

I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.  88

Quick.

That’s my master, Master doctor.

Anne.

Alas! I had rather be set quick i’ the earth,

And bowl’d to death with turnips.

Mrs. Page.

Come, trouble not yourself. Good Master Fenton,  92

I will not be your friend nor enemy:

My daughter will I question how she loves you,

And as I find her, so am I affected.

’Till then, farewell, sir: she must needs go in;

Her father will be angry.  97

Fent

Farewell, gentle mistress. Farewell, Nan.

[Exeunt Mistress Page and Anne.

Quick.

This is my doing, now: ‘Nay,’ said I, ‘will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on Master Fenton.’ This is my doing.  102

Fent.

I thank thee: and I pray thee, once to-night

Give my sweet Nan this ring. There’s for thy pains.  104

Quick.

Now heaven send thee good fortune! [Exit Fenton.] A kind heart he hath: a woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I would my master had Mistress Anne; or I would Master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would Master Fenton had her. I will do what I can for them all three, for so I have promised, and I’ll be as good as my word; but speciously for Master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses: what a beast am I to slack it!

[Exit.

Scene V.— A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.

Fal.

Bardolph, I say,—

Bard.

Here, sir.

Fal.

Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in’t. [Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, and to be thrown in the Thames like a barrow of butcher’s offal? Well, if I be served such another trick, I’ll have my brains ta’en out, and buttered, and give them to a dog for a new year’s gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned a blind bitch’s puppies, fifteen i’ the litter; and you may know by my size that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking: if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drowned but that the shore was shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor, for the water swells a man, and what a thing should I have been when I had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.  19

Re-enter Bardolph, with the sack.

Bard.

Here’s Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you.  21

Fal.

Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water, for my belly’s as cold as if I had swallowed snowballs for pills to cool the reins. Call her in.  25

Bard.

Come in, woman.

Enter Mistress Quickly.

Quick.

By your leave. I cry you mercy: give your worship good morrow.  28

Fal.

Take away these chalices. Go brew me a pottle of sack finely.

Bard.

With eggs, sir?

Fal.

Simple of itself; I’ll no pullet-sperm in my brewage. [Exit Bardolph.]—How now!  33

Quick.

Marry, sir, I come to your worship from Mistress Ford.

Fal.

Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough; I was thrown into the ford; I have my belly full of ford.  38

Quick.

Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.  41

Fal.

So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman’s promise.

Quick.

Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a-birding: she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine. I must carry her word quickly: she’ll make you amends, I warrant you.  49

Fal.

Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid her think what a man is: let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.  52

Quick.

I will tell her.

Fal.

Do so. Between nine and ten, sayest thou?

Quick.

Eight and nine, sir.

Fal.

Well, be gone: I will not miss her.  56

Quick.

Peace be with you, sir.

[Exit.

Fal.

I marvel I hear not of Master Brook; he sent me word to stay within. I like his money well. O! here he comes.  60

Enter Ford.

Ford.

Bless you, sir!

Fal.

Now, Master Brook, you come to know what hath passed between me and Ford’s wife?  64

Ford.

That, indeed, Sir John, is my business.

Fal.

Master Brook, I will not lie to you: I was at her house the hour she appointed me.  68

Ford.

And how sped you, sir?

Fal.

Very ill-favouredly, Master Brook.

Ford.

How so, sir? did she change her determination?  72

Fal.

No, Master Brook; but the peaking cornuto her husband, Master Brook, dwelling in a continual ’larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, forsooth, to search his house for his wife’s love.  81

Ford.

What! while you were there?

Fal.

While I was there.

Ford.

And did he search for you, and could not find you?  85

Fal.

You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one Mistress Page; gives intelligence of Ford’s approach; and in her invention, and Ford’s wife’s distraction, they conveyed me into a buck-basket.  90

Ford.

A buck-basket!

Fal.

By the Lord, a buck-basket! rammed me in with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, greasy napkins; that, Master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villanous smell that ever offended nostril.  96

Ford.

And how long lay you there?

Fal.

Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple of Ford’s knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave their master in the door, who asked them once or twice what they had in their basket. I quaked for fear lest the lunatic knave would have searched it; but Fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well; on went he for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, Master Brook: I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, an intolerable-fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-wether; next, to be compassed, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head; and then, to be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease: think of that, a man of my kidney, think of that, that am as subject to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw: it was a miracle to ’scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of that, hissing hot, think of that, Master Brook!  127

Ford.

In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all this. My suit then is desperate; you’ll undertake her no more?

Fal.

Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a-birding: I have received from her another embassy of meeting; ’twixt eight and nine is the hour, Master Brook.  136

Ford.

’Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal.

Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed, and the conclusion shall be crowned with your enjoying her: adieu. You shall have her, Master Brook; Master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford.

[Exit.

Ford.

Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake! awake, Master Ford! there’s a hole made in your best coat, Master Ford. This ’tis to be married: this ’tis to have linen and buck-baskets! Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house; he cannot ’scape me; ’tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a half-penny purse, nor into a pepper-box; but, lest the devil that guides him should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make me mad, let the proverb go with me; I’ll be horn-mad.

[Exit.

ACT IV.

Scene I.— The Street.

Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Quickly, and William.

Mrs. Page.

Is he at Master Ford’s already, thinkest thou?  2

Quick.

Sure he is by this, or will be presently; but truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.  6

Mrs. Page.

I’ll be with her by and by: I’ll but bring my young man here to school. Look, where his master comes; ’tis a playing-day, I see.  10

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?

Eva.

No; Master Slender is get the boys leave to play.  13

Quick.

Blessing of his heart!

Mrs. Page.

Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book: I pray you, ask him some questions in his accidence.

Eva.

Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.  20

Mrs. Page.

Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your master, be not afraid.

Eva.

William, how many numbers is in nouns?

Will.

Two.  24

Quick.

Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say, ‘Od’s nouns.’

Eva.

Peace your tattlings! What is fair, William?  28

Will.

Pulcher.

Quick.

Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure.

Eva.

You are a very simplicity ’oman: I pray you peace. What is lapis, William?  33

Will.

A stone.

Eva.

And what is a stone, William?

Will.

A pebble.  36

Eva.

No, it is lapis: I pray you remember in your prain.

Will.

Lapis.

Eva.

That is a good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?  41

Will.

Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hæc, hoc.  44

Eva.

Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?

Will.

Accusativo, hinc.  48

Eva.

I pray you, have your remembrance, child; accusativo, hung, hang, hog.

Quick.

Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.  52

Eva.

Leave your prabbles, ’oman. What is the focative case, William?

Will.

O vocativo, O.

Eva.

Remember, William; focative is caret.

Quick.

And that’s a good root.  57

Eva.

’Oman, forbear.

Mrs. Page.

Peace!

Eva.

What is your genitive case plural, William?  61

Will.

Genitive case?

Eva.

Ay.

Will.

Genitive, horum, harum, horum.  64

Quick.

Vengeance of Jenny’s case! fie on her! Never name her, child, if she be a whore.

Eva.

For shame, ’oman!

Quick.

You do ill to teach the child such words. He teaches him to hick and to hack, which they’ll do fast enough of themselves, and to call ‘horum?’ fie upon you!  71

Eva.

’Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no understandings for thy cases and the numbers and the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.

Mrs. Page.

Prithee, hold thy peace.  76

Eva.

Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Will.

Forsooth, I have forgot.

Eva.

It is qui, quæ, quod; if you forget your quis, your quæs, and your quods, you must be preeches. Go your ways and play; go.

Mrs. Page.

He is a better scholar than I thought he was.  84

Eva.

He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

Mrs. Page.

Adieu, good Sir Hugh. [Exit Sir Hugh.] Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— A Room in Ford’s House.

Enter Falstaff and Mistress Ford.

Fal.

Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love, and I profess requital to a hair’s breadth; not only, Mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, complement and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your husband now?

Mrs. Ford.

He’s a-birding, sweet Sir John.  8

Mrs. Page.

[Within.] What ho! gossip Ford! what ho!

Mrs. Ford.

Step into the chamber, Sir John.

[Exit Falstaff.

Enter Mistress Page.

Mrs. Page.

How now, sweetheart! who’s at home besides yourself?  13

Mrs. Ford.

Why, none but mine own people.

Mrs. Page.

Indeed!

Mrs. Ford.

No, certainly.—[Aside to her.] Speak louder.  17

Mrs. Page.

Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.

Mrs. Ford.

Why?  20

Mrs. Page.

Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again: he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve’s daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying, ‘Peer out, peer out!’ that any madness I ever yet beheld seemed but tameness, civility and patience, to this his distemper he is in now. I am glad the fat knight is not here.  30

Mrs. Ford.

Why, does he talk of him?

Mrs. Page.

Of none but him; and swears he was carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket: protests to my husband he is now here, and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion. But I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.

Mrs. Ford.

How near is he, Mistress Page?  40

Mrs. Page.

Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon.

Mrs. Ford.

I am undone! the knight is here.

Mrs. Page.

Why then you are utterly shamed, and he’s but a dead man. What a woman are you! Away with him, away with him! better shame than murder.  47

Mrs. Ford.

Which way should he go? how should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again?

Re-enter Falstaff.

Fal.

No, I’ll come no more i’ the basket. May I not go out ere he come?  52

Mrs. Page.

Alas! three of Master Ford’s brothers watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?  56

Fal.

What shall I do? I’ll creep up into the chimney.

Mrs. Ford.

There they always use to discharge their birding-pieces.  60

Mrs. Page.

Creep into the kiln-hole.

Fal.

Where is it?

Mrs. Ford.

He will seek there, on my word. Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house.

Fal.

I’ll go out, then.  68

Mrs. Page.

If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir John. Unless you go out disguised,—

Mrs. Ford.

How might we disguise him?  72

Mrs. Page.

Alas the day! I know not. There is no woman’s gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape.  76

Fal.

Good hearts, devise something: any extremity rather than a mischief.

Mrs. Ford.

My maid’s aunt, the fat woman of Brainford, has a gown above.  80

Mrs. Page.

On my word, it will serve him; she’s as big as he is: and there’s her thrummed hat and her muffler too. Run up, Sir John.

Mrs. Ford.

Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page and I will look some linen for your head.

Mrs. Page.

Quick, quick! we’ll come dress you straight; put on the gown the while.  87

[Exit Falstaff.

Mrs. Ford.

I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brainford; he swears she’s a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her.

Mrs. Page.

Heaven guide him to thy husband’s cudgel, and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!  94

Mrs. Ford.

But is my husband coming?

Mrs. Page.

Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.

Mrs. Ford.

We’ll try that; for I’ll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time.  101

Mrs. Page.

Nay, but he’ll be here presently: let’s go dress him like the witch of Brainford.

Mrs. Ford.

I’ll first direct my men what they shall do with the basket. Go up; I’ll bring linen for him straight.

[Exit.

Mrs. Page.

Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.  108

We’ll leave a proof, by that which we will do,

Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:

We do not act that often jest and laugh;

’Tis old, but true, ‘Still swine eats all the draff.’

[Exit.

Re-enter Mistress Ford, with two Servants.

Mrs. Ford.

Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders: your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it down, obey him. Quickly; dispatch.

[Exit.

First Serv.

Come, come, take it up.  117

Sec. Serv.

Pray heaven, it be not full of knight again.

First Serv.

I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead.  121

Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Ford.

Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you any way then to unfool me again? Set down the basket, villains. Somebody call my wife. Youth in a basket! O you panderly rascals! there’s a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy against me: now shall the devil be shamed. What, wife, I say! Come, come forth! Behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching!  130

Page.

Why, this passes! Master Ford, you are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned.  133

Eva.

Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad dog!

Shal.

Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed.  137

Ford.

So say I too, sir.—

Re-enter Mistress Ford.

Come hither, Mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her husband! I suspect without cause, mistress, do I?

Mrs. Ford.

Heaven by my witness, you do, if you suspect me in any dishonesty.  144

Ford.

Well said, brazen-face! hold it out. Come forth, sirrah!

[Pulls the clothes out of the basket.

Page.

This passes!

Mrs. Ford.

Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.  149

Ford.

I shall find you anon.

Eva.

’Tis unreasonable. Will you take up your wife’s clothes? Come away.  152

Ford.

Empty the basket, I say!

Mrs. Ford.

Why, man, why?

Ford.

Master Page, as I am an honest man, there was one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this basket: why may not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is; my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable. Pluck me out all the linen.  160

Mrs. Ford.

If you find a man there he shall die a flea’s death.

Page.

Here’s no man.

Shal.

By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford; this wrongs you.  165

Eva.

Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.  168

Ford.

Well, he’s not here I seek for.

Page.

No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.

[Servants carry away the basket.

Ford.

Help to search my house this one time: if I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity; let me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of me, ‘As jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow walnut for his wife’s leman.’ Satisfy me once more; once more search with me.  177

Mrs. Ford.

What ho, Mistress Page! come you and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.  180

Ford.

Old woman! What old woman’s that?

Mrs. Ford.

Why, it is my maid’s aunt of Brainford.  183

Ford.

A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what’s brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as this is, beyond our element: we know nothing. Come down, you witch, you hag, you; come down, I say!  192

Mrs. Ford.

Nay, good, sweet husband! good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman.

Enter Falstaff in women’s clothes, led by Mistress Page.

Mrs. Page.

Come, Mother Prat; come, give me your hand.  196

Ford.

I’ll ‘prat’ her.—[Beats him.] Out of my door, you witch, you rag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon! out, out! I’ll conjure you, I’ll fortune-tell you.

[Exit Falstaff.

Mrs. Page.

Are you not ashamed? I think you have killed the poor woman.

Mrs. Ford.

Nay, he will do it. ’Tis a goodly credit for you.  204

Ford.

Hang her, witch!

Eva.

By yea and no, I think the ’oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a ’oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muffler.  209

Ford.

Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow: see but the issue of my jealousy. If I cry out thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open again.  213

Page.

Let’s obey his humour a little further. Come, gentlemen.

[Exeunt Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius, and Evans.

Mrs. Page.

Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.  217

Mrs. Ford.

Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully methought.

Mrs. Page.

I’ll have the cudgel hallowed and hung o’er the altar: it hath done meritorious service.  222

Mrs. Ford.

What think you? May we, with the warrant of womanhood and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?  226

Mrs. Page.

The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him: if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.

Mrs. Ford.

Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?  232

Mrs. Page.

Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband’s brains. If they can find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers.  237

Mrs. Ford.

I’ll warrant they’ll have him publicly shamed, and methinks there would be no period to the jest, should he not be publicly shamed.  241

Mrs. Page.

Come, to the forge with it then; shape it: I would not have things cool.

[Exeunt.

Scene III.— A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Host and Bardolph.

Bard.

Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and they are going to meet him.  3

Host.

What duke should that be comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court. Let me speak with the gentlemen; they speak English?

Bard.

Ay, sir; I’ll call them to you.  8

Host.

They shall have my horses, but I’ll make them pay; I’ll sauce them: they have had my house a week at command; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off; I’ll sauce them. Come.

[Exeunt.

Scene IV.— A Room in Ford’s House.

Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Eva.

’Tis one of the pest discretions of a ’oman as ever I did look upon.

Page.

And did he send you both these letters at an instant?  4

Mrs. Page.

Within a quarter of an hour.

Ford.

Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt;

I rather will suspect the sun with cold

Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand,  8

In him that was of late an heretic,

As firm as faith.

Page.

’Tis well, ’tis well; no more.

Be not as extreme in submission

As in ofrence;  12

But let our plot go forward: let our wives

Yet once again, to make us public sport,

Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,

Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.

Ford.

There is no better way than that they spoke of.  17

Page.

How? to send him word they’ll meet him in the Park at midnight? Fie, fie! he’ll never come.  20

Eva.

You say he has been thrown into the rivers, and has been grievously peaten as an old ’oman: methinks there should be terrors in him that he should not come; methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.  25

Page.

So think I too.

Mrs. Ford.

Devise but how you’ll use him when he comes,

And let us two devise to bring him thither.  28

Mrs. Page.

There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,

Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight,

Walk round about an oak, with great ragg’d horns;  32

And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,

And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain

In a most hideous and dreadful manner:

You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know  36

The superstitious idle-headed eld

Receiv’d and did deliver to our age

This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Page.

Why, yet there want not many that do fear  40

In deep of night to walk by this Herne’s oak.

But what of this?

Mrs. Ford.

Marry, this is our device;

That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,

Disguis’d like Herne with huge horns on his head.  44

Page.

Well, let it not be doubted but he’ll come,

And in this shape when you have brought him thither,

What shall be done with him? what is your plot?

Mrs. Page.

That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:  48

Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,

And three or four more of their growth, we’ll dress

Like urchins, ouphs and fairies, green and white,

With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,  52

And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,

As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,

Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once

With some diffused song: upon their sight,  56

We two in great amazedness will fly:

Then let them all encircle him about,

And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight;

And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,  60

In their so sacred paths he dares to tread

In shape profane.

Mrs. Ford.

And till he tell the truth,

Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound

And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page.

The truth being known,  64

We’ll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,

And mock him home to Windsor.

Ford.

The children must

Be practis’d well to this, or they’ll ne’er do’t.

Eva.

I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

Ford.

That will be excellent. I’ll go buy them vizards.  72

Mrs. Page.

My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,

Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page.

That silk will I go buy:—[Aside] and in that time

Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away,  76

And marry her at Eton. Go, send to Falstaff straight.

Ford.

Nay, I’ll to him again in name of Brook;

He’ll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he’ll come.

Mrs. Page.

Fear not you that. Go, get us properties,  80

And tricking for our fairies.

Eva.

Let us about it: it is admirable pleasures and fery honest knaveries.

[Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans.

Mrs. Page.

Go, Mistress Ford,  84

Send Quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.

[Exit Mistress Ford.

I’ll to the doctor: he hath my good will,

And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.

That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;  88

And him my husband best of all affects:

The doctor is well money’d, and his friends

Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her,

Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.

[Exit.

Scene V.— A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Host and Simple.

Host.

What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

Sim.

Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from Master Slender.  5

Host.

There’s his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed and truckle-bed: ’tis painted about with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go knock and call: he’ll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: knock, I say.  11

Sim.

There’s an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber: I’ll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down; I come to speak with her, indeed.  15

Host.

Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I’ll call. Bully knight! Bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal.

[Above.] How now, mine host!  20

Host.

Here’s a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully; let her descend; my chambers are honourable: fie! privacy? fie!  24

Enter Falstaff.

Fal.

There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me, but she’s gone.

Sim.

Pray you, sir, was’t not the wise woman of Brainford?  28

Fal.

Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell: what would you with her?

Sim.

My Master, sir, Master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain or no.  34

Fal.

I spake with the old woman about it.

Sim.

And what says she, I pray, sir?  36

Fal.

Marry, she says that the very same man that beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him of it.

Sim.

I would I could have spoken with the woman herself: I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal.

What are they? let us know.

Host.

Ay, come; quick.  44

Sim.

I may not conceal them, sir.

Host.

Conceal them, or thou diest.

Sim.

Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress Anne Page; to know if it were my master’s fortune to have her or no.  49

Fal.

’Tis, ’tis his fortune.

Sim.

What, sir?

Fal.

To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told me so.  53

Sim.

May I be bold to say so, sir?

Fal.

Ay, Sir Tike; who more bold?

Sim.

I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad with these tidings.

[Exit.

Host.

Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was there a wise woman with thee?  59

Fal.

Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.  63

Enter Bardolph.

Bard.

Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage!

Host.

Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto.  66

Bard.

Run away, with the cozeners; for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.  71

Host.

They are gone but to meet the duke, villain. Do not say they be fled: Germans are honest men.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

Eva.

Where is mine host?

Host.

What is the matter, sir?  76

Eva.

Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three cozen-germans that has cozened all the hosts of Readins, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good will, look you: you are wise and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs, and ’tis not convenient you should be cozened. Fare you well.

[Exit.

Enter Doctor Caius.

Caius.

Vere is mine host de Jarteer?  85

Host.

Here, Master doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma.

Caius.

I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a me dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by my trot, dere is no duke dat de court is know to come. I tell you for good vill: adieu.

[Exit.

Host.

Hue and cry, villain! go. Assist me, knight; I am undone. Fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone!  95

[Exeunt Host and Bardolph.

Fal.

I would all the world might be cozened, for I have been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat drop by drop, and liquor fishermen’s boots with me: I warrant they would whip me with their fine wits till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself at primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.  107

Enter Mistress Quickly.

Now, whence come you?

Quick.

From the two parties, forsooth.

Fal.

The devil take one party and his dam the other! and so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffered more for their sakes, more than the villanous inconstancy of man’s disposition is able to bear.  114

Quick.

And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them: Mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.  118

Fal.

What tellest thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brainford: but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, delivered me, the knave constable had set me i’ the stocks, i’ the common stocks, for a witch.  126

Quick.

Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber; you shall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts! what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed.

Fal.

Come up into my chamber.

[Exeunt.

Scene VI.— Another Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Fenton and Host.

Host.

Master Fenton, talk not to me: my mind is heavy; I will give over all.

Fent.

Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,

And, as I am a gentleman, I’ll give thee  4

A hundred pound in gold more than your loss.

Host.

I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will, at the least, keep your counsel.

Fent.

From time to time I have acquainted you

With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;  9

Who, mutually hath answer’d my affection,

So far forth as herself might be her chooser,

Even to my wish. I have a letter from her  12

Of such contents as you will wonder at;

The mirth whereof so larded with my matter,

That neither singly can be manifested,

Without the show of both; wherein fat Falstaff

Hath a great scare: the image of the jest  17

I’ll show you here at large [Pointing to the Letter]. Hark, good mine host:

To-night at Herne’s oak, just ’twixt twelve and one,

Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen;

The purpose why, is here: in which disguise,  21

While other jests are something rank on foot,

Her father hath commanded her to slip

Away with Slender, and with him at Eton  24

Immediately to marry: she hath consented:

Now, sir,

Her mother, even strong against that match

And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed  28

That he shall likewise shuffle her away,

While other sports are tasking of their minds;

And at the deanery, where a priest attends,

Straight marry her: to this her mother’s plot

She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath  33

Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests:

Her father means she shall be all in white,

And in that habit, when Slender sees his time

To take her by the hand and bid her go,  37

She shall go with him: her mother hath intended,

The better to denote her to the doctor,—

For they must all be mask’d and vizarded—  40

That quaint in green she shall be loose enrob’d,

With ribands pendent, flaring ’bout her head;

And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,

To pinch her by the hand; and on that token  44

The maid hath given consent to go with him.

Host.

Which means she to deceive, father or mother?

Fent.

Both, my good host, to go along with me:

And here it rests, that you’ll procure the vicar

To stay for me at church ’twixt twelve and one,

And, in the lawful name of marrying,  51

To give our hearts united ceremony.

Host.

Well, husband your device; I’ll to the vicar.

Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.

Fent.

So shall I evermore be bound to thee;

Besides, I’ll make a present recompense.  56

[Exeunt.

ACT V.

Scene I.— A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Falstaff and Mistress Quickly.

Fal.

Prithee, no more prattling; go: I’ll hold. This is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers. Away! go. They say there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance or death. Away!  5

Quick.

I’ll provide you a chain, and I’ll do what I can to get you a pair of horns.

Fal.

Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince.

[Exit Mistress Quickly.

Enter Ford.

How now, Master Brook! Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne’s oak, and you shall see wonders.  13

Ford.

Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Fal.

I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man; but I came from her, Master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, Master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you: he beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of a man, Master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver’s beam, because I know also life is a shuttle. I am in haste: go along with me; I’ll tell you all, Master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played traunt, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten till lately. Follow me: I’ll tell you strange things of this knave Ford, on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow. Strange things in hand, Master Brook! Follow.

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— Windsor Park.

Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender.

Page.

Come, come; we’ll couch i’ the castle-ditch till we see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender, my daughter.  3

Slen.

Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her and we have a nayword how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry, ‘mum;’ she cries, ‘budget;’ and by that we know one another.  8

Shal.

That’s good too: but what needs either your ‘mum,’ or her ‘budget?’ the white will decipher her well enough. It hath struck ten o’clock.  12

Page.

The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let’s away; follow me.

[Exeunt.

Scene III.— The Street in Windsor.

Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and Dr. Caius.

Mrs. Page.

Master Doctor, my daughter is in green: when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly. Go before into the Park: we two must go together.  5

Caius.

I know vat I have to do. Adieu.

Mrs. Page.

Fare you well, sir. [Exit Caius.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor’s marrying my daughter: but ’tis no matter; better a little chiding than a great deal of heart break.

Mrs. Ford.

Where is Nan now and her troop of fairies, and the Welsh devil, Hugh?  13

Mrs. Page.

They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne’s oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff’s and our meeting, they will at once display to the night.  17

Mrs. Ford.

That cannot choose but amaze him.

Mrs. Page.

If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.

Mrs. Ford.

We’ll betray him finely.

Mrs. Page.

Against such lewdsters and their lechery,  24

Those that betray them do no treachery.

Mrs. Ford.

The hour draws on: to the oak, to the oak!

[Exeunt.

Scene IV.— Windsor Park.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans, disguised, and others as Fairies.

Eva.

Trib, trib, fairies: come; and remember your parts. Be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit, and when I give the watch-ords, do as I pid you. Come, come; trib, trib.

[Exeunt.

Scene V.— Another part of the Park.

Enter Falstaff disguised as Herne, with a buck’s head on.

Fal.

The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns. O powerful love! that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast. You were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love of Leda; O omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose! A fault done first in the form of a beast; O Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl: think on ’t, Jove; a foul fault! When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i’ the forest: send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe?  17

Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page.

Mrs. Ford.

Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my male deer?

Fal.

My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of ‘Green Sleeves;’ hail kissing-comfits and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here.

[Embracing her.

Mrs. Ford.

Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.  26

Fal.

Divide me like a brib’d buck, each a haunch: I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands. Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Herne the hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome!

[Noise within.

Mrs. Page.

Alas! what noise?

Mrs. Ford.

Heaven forgive our sins!  36

Fal.

What should this be?

Mrs. Ford.

Away, away!

Mrs. Page.

Away, away!

[They run off.

Fal.

I think the devil will not have me damned, lest the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he would never else cross me thus.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans, like a Satyr: Pistol as Hobgoblin; Anne Page, as the Fairy Queen, attended by her Brother and Others, as Fairies, with waxen tapers on their heads.

Anne.

Fairies, black, grey, green, and white,

You moonshine revellers, and shades of night,  44

You orphan heirs of fixed destiny,

Attend your office and your quality.

Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.

Pist.

Elves, list your names: silence, you airy toys!  48

Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap:

Where fires thou find’st unrak’d and hearths unswept,

There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry:

Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery.  52

Fal.

They are fairies; he that speaks to them shall die:

I’ll wink and couch: no man their works must eye.

[Lies down upon his face.

Eva.

Where’s Bede? Go you, and where you find a maid

That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said,

Rein up the organs of her fantasy,  57

Sleep she as sound as careless infancy;

But those that sleep and think not on their sins,

Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and shins.  60

Anne.

About, about!

Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out:

Strew good luck, ouphs, on every sacred room,

That it may stand till the perpetual doom,  64

In state as wholesome as in state ’tis fit,

Worthy the owner, and the owner it.

The several chairs of order look you scour

With juice of balm and every precious flower:  68

Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,

With loyal blazon, ever more be blest!

And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing,

Like to the Garter’s compass, in a ring:  72

The expressure that it bears, green let it be,

More fertile-fresh than all the field to see;

And, Honi soit qui mal y pense write

In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white;

Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,  77

Buckled below fair knighthood’s bending knee:

Fairies use flowers for their charactery.

Away! disperse! But, till ’tis one o’clock,  80

Our dance of custom round about the oak

Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.

Eva.

Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set;

And twenty glow-worms shall our lanthorns be,

To guide our measure round about the tree.  85

But, stay; I smell a man of middle-earth.

Fal.

Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he transform me to a piece of cheese!

Pist.

Vile worm, thou wast o’erlook’d even in thy birth.

Anne.

With trial-fire touch me his finger-end:

If he be chaste, the flame will back descend

And turn him to no pain; but if he start,  92

It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.

Pist.

A trial! come.

Eva.

Come, will this wood take fire?

[They burn him with their tapers.

Fal.

Oh, oh, oh!

Anne.

Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire!  96

About him, fairies, sing a scornful rime;

And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time.

SONG.

Fie on sinful fantasy!

Fie on lust and luxury!  100

Lust is but a bloody fire,

Kindled with unchaste desire,

Fed in heart, whose flames aspire,

As thoughts do blow them higher and higher.  104

Pinch him, fairies, mutually;

Pinch him for his villany;

Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about,

Till candles and star-light and moonshine be out.

During this song, the Fairies pinch Falstaff. Doctor Caius comes one way, and steals away a Fairy in green; Slender another way, and takes off a Fairy in white; and Fenton comes, and steals away Anne Page. A noise of hunting is heard within. The Fairies run away. Falstaff pulls off his buck’s head, and rises.

Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page and Mistress Ford. They lay hold on Falstaff.

Page.

Nay, do not fly: I think we have watch’d you now:  109

Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn?

Mrs. Page.

I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher.

Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives?  112

See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes

Become the forest better than the town?

Ford.

Now sir, who’s a cuckold now? Master Brook, Falstaff’s a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his horns, Master Brook: and, Master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford’s but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds of money, which must be paid too, Master Brook; his horses are arrested for it, Master Brook.  121

Mrs. Ford.

Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again, but I will always count you my deer.  125

Fal.

I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.

Ford.

Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are extant.  129

Fal.

And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought they were not fairies; and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rime and reason, that they were fairies. See now how wit may be made a Jack-a-lent, when ’tis upon ill employment!

Eva.

Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you.  140

Ford.

Well said, fairy Hugh.

Eva.

And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you.

Ford.

I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English.  145

Fal.

Have I laid my brain in the sun and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o’er-reaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? shall I have a coxcomb of frize? ’Tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted cheese.

Eva.

Seese is not goot to give putter: your pelly is all putter.  153

Fal.

‘Seese’ and ‘putter!’ have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking through the realm.  157

Mrs. Page.

Why, Sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight?

Ford.

What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax?

Mrs. Page.

A puffed man?  164

Page.

Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails?

Ford.

And one that is as slanderous as Satan?

Page.

And as poor as Job?  168

Ford.

And as wicked as his wife?

Eva.

And given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack and wine and metheglins, and to drinkings and swearings and starings, pribbles and prabbles?  173

Fal.

Well, I am your theme: you have the start of me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh flannel. Ignorance itself is a plummet o’er me: use me as you will.  177

Ford.

Marry, sir, we’ll bring you to Windsor, to one Master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to whom you should have been a pander: over and above that you have suffered, I think, to repay that money will be a biting affliction.

Mrs. Ford.

Nay, husband, let that go to make amends;

Forgive that sum, and so we’ll all be friends.  184

Ford.

Well, here’s my hand: all is forgiven at last.

Page.

Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee. Tell her, Master Slender hath married her daughter.

Mrs. Page.

[Aside.] Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my daughter, she is, by this Doctor Caius’ wife.  193

Enter Slender.

Slen.

Whoa, ho! ho! father Page!

Page.

Son, how now! how now, son! have you dispatched?  196

Slen.

Dispatched! I’ll make the best in Gloster-shire know on ’t; would I were hanged, la, else!

Page.

Of what, son?  200

Slen.

I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page, and she’s a great lubberly boy: if it had not been i’ the church, I would have swinged him, or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page, would I might never stir! and ’tis a postmaster’s boy.  206

Page.

Upon my life, then, you took the wrong.

Slen.

What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for all he was in woman’s apparel, I would not have had him.  211

Page.

Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how you should know my daughter by her garments?

Slen.

I went to her in white, and cried, ‘mum,’ and she cried ‘budget,’ as Anne and I had appointed; and yet it was not Anne, but a postmaster’s boy.

Eva.

Jeshu! Master Slender, cannot you see put marry poys?  220

Page.

O I am vexed at heart: what shall I do?

Mrs. Page.

Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she is now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married.  226

Enter Doctor Caius.

Caius.

Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened: I ha’ married un garçon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened.  230

Mrs. Page.

Why, did you not take her in green?

Caius.

Ay, by gar, and ’tis a boy: by gar, I’ll raise all Windsor.

[Exit.

Ford.

This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne?  235

Page.

My heart misgives me: here comes Master Fenton.

Enter Fenton and Anne Page.

How now, Master Fenton!

Anne.

Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon!  240

Page.

Now, mistress, how chance you went not with Master Slender?

Mrs. Page.

Why went you not with Master Doctor, maid?  244

Fent.

You do amaze her: hear the truth of it.

You would have married her most shamefully,

Where there was no proportion held in love.

The truth is, she and I, long since contracted,  248

Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.

The offence is holy that she hath committed,

And this deceit loses the name of craft,

Of disobedience, or unduteous title,  252

Since therein she doth evitate and shun

A thousand irreligious cursed hours,

Which forced marriage would have brought upon her.

Ford.

Stand not amaz’d: here is no remedy:

In love the heavens themselves do guide the state:  257

Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate.

Fal.

I am glad, though you have ta’en a special stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced.  261

Page.

Well, what remedy?—Fenton, heaven give thee joy!

What cannot be eschew’d must be embrac’d.

Fal.

When night dogs run all sorts of deer are chas’d.  264

Mrs. Page.

Well, I will muse no further. Master Fenton,

Heaven give you many, many merry days!

Good husband, let us every one go home,

And laugh this sport o’er by a country fire;  268

Sir John and all.

Ford.

Let it be so. Sir John,

To Master Brook you yet shall hold your word;

For he to-night shall lie with Mistress Ford.  272

[Exeunt.

 


 

MEASURE FOR MEASURE

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

Vincentio, the Duke.
Angelo, Lord Deputy in the Duke’s absence.
Escalus, an Ancient Lord, joined with Angelo in the deputation.
Claudio, a young Gentleman.
Lucio, a Fantastic.
Two other like Gentlemen.
Varrius, a Gentleman attending on the Duke.
Provost.
Thomas, } two Friars.
Peter,    }
A Justice.
Elbow, a simple Constable.
Froth, a foolish Gentleman.
Pompey, Tapster to Mistress Overdone.
Abhorson, an Executioner.
Barnardine, a dissolute Prisoner.
Isabella, sister to Claudio.
Mariana, betrothed to Angelo.
Juliet, beloved of Claudio.
Francisca, a Nun.
Mistress Overdone, a Bawd.
Lords, Officers, Citizens, Boy, and Attendants.

 


 

Scene.Vienna.

ACT I.

Scene I.— An Apartment in the Duke’s Palace.

Enter Duke, Escalus, Lords, and Attendants.

Duke.

Escalus.

Escal.

My lord?

Duke.

Of government the properties to unfold,

Would seem in me to affect speech and discourse,

Since I am put to know that your own science  5

Exceeds, in that, the lists of all advice

My strength can give you: then no more remains,

But that, to your sufficiency, as your worth is able,

And let them work. The nature of our people,  9

Our city’s institutions, and the terms

For common justice, you’re as pregnant in,

As art and practice hath enriched any  12

That we remember. There is our commission,

[Giving it.

From which we would not have you warp. Call hither,

I say, bid come before us Angelo.

[Exit an Attendant.

What figure of us think you he will bear?  16

For you must know, we have with special soul

Elected him our absence to supply,

Lent him our terror, drest him with our love,

And given his deputation all the organs  20

Of our own power: what think you of it?

Escal.

If any in Vienna be of worth

To undergo such ample grace and honour,

It is Lord Angelo.

Duke.

Look where he comes.  24

Enter Angelo.

Ang.

Always obedient to your Grace’s will,

I come to know your pleasure.

Duke.

Angelo,

There is a kind of character in thy life,

That, to th’ observer doth thy history  28

Fully unfold. Thyself and thy belongings

Are not thine own so proper, as to waste

Thyself upon thy virtues, they on thee.

Heaven doth with us as we with torches do,  32

Not light them for themselves; for if our virtues

Did not go forth of us, ’twere all alike

As if we had them not. Spirits are not finely touch’d

But to fine issues, nor Nature never lends  36

The smallest scruple of her excellence,

But, like a thrifty goddess, she determines

Herself the glory of a creditor,

Both thanks and use. But I do bend my speech

To one that can my part in him advertise;  41

Hold, therefore, Angelo:

[Tendering his commission.

In our remove be thou at full ourself;

Mortality and mercy in Vienna  44

Live in thy tongue and heart. Old Escalus,

Though first in question, is thy secondary.

Take thy commission.

[Giving it.

Ang.

Now, good my lord,

Let there be some more test made of my metal,

Before so noble and so great a figure  49

Be stamp’d upon it.

Duke.

No more evasion:

We have with a leaven’d and prepared choice

Proceeded to you; therefore take your honours.

Our haste from hence is of so quick condition  53

That it prefers itself, and leaves unquestion’d

Matters of needful value. We shall write to you,

As time and our concernings shall importune,  56

How it goes with us; and do look to know

What doth befall you here. So, fare you well:

To the hopeful execution do I leave you

Of your commissions.

Ang.

Yet, give leave, my lord,  60

That we may bring you something on the way.

Duke.

My haste may not admit it;

Nor need you, on mine honour, have to do

With any scruple: your scope is as mine own,  64

So to enforce or qualify the laws

As to your soul seems good. Give me your hand;

I’ll privily away: I love the people,

But do not like to stage me to their eyes.  68

Though it do well, I do not relish well

Their loud applause and Aves vehement,

Nor do I think the man of safe discretion

That does affect it. Once more, fare you well.  72

Ang.

The heavens give safety to your purposes!

Escal.

Lead forth and bring you back in happiness!

Duke.

I thank you. Fare you well.

[Exit.

Escal.

I shall desire you, sir, to give me leave

To have free speech with you; and it concerns me

To look into the bottom of my place:

A power I have, but of what strength and nature

I am not yet instructed.  80

Ang.

’Tis so with me. Let us withdraw together,

And we may soon our satisfaction have

Touching that point.

Escal.

I’ll wait upon your honour.

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— A Street.

Enter Lucio and two Gentlemen.

Lucio.

If the Duke with the other dukes come not to composition with the King of Hungary, why then, all the dukes fall upon the king.

First Gent.

Heaven grant us its peace, but not the King of Hungary’s!  5

Second Gent.

Amen.

Lucio.

Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate, that went to sea with the Ten Commandments, but scraped one out of the table.

Second Gent.

‘Thou shalt not steal?’  10

Lucio.

Ay, that he razed.

First Gent.

Why, ’twas a commandment to command the captain and all the rest from their functions: they put forth to steal. There’s not a soldier of us all, that, in the thanksgiving before meat, doth relish the petition well that prays for peace.  17

Second Gent.

I never heard any soldier dislike it.

Lucio.

I believe thee, for I think thou never wast where grace was said.  21

Second Gent.

No? a dozen times at least.

First Gent.

What, in metre?

Lucio.

In any proportion or in any language.

First Gent.

I think, or in any religion.  25

Lucio.

Ay; why not? Grace is grace, despite of all controversy: as, for example, thou thyself art a wicked villain, despite of all grace.  28

First Gent.

Well, there went but a pair of shears between us.

Lucio.

I grant; as there may between the lists and the velvet: thou art the list.  32

First Gent.

And thou the velvet: thou art good velvet; thou art a three-piled piece, I warrant thee. I had as lief be a list of an English kersey as be piled, as thou art piled, for a French velvet. Do I speak feelingly now?  37

Lucio.

I think thou dost; and, indeed, with most painful feeling of thy speech: I will, out of thine own confession, learn to begin thy health; but, whilst I live, forget to drink after thee.

First Gent.

I think I have done myself wrong, have I not?  44

Second Gent.

Yes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted or free.

Lucio.

Behold, behold, where Madam Mitigation comes! I have purchased as many diseases under her roof as come to—  49

Second Gent.

To what, I pray?

Lucio.

Judge.

Second Gent.

To three thousand dolours a year.  53

First Gent.

Ay, and more.

Lucio.

A French crown more.

First Gent.

Thou art always figuring diseases in me; but thou art full of error: I am sound.  57

Lucio.

Nay, not as one would say, healthy; but so sound as things that are hollow: thy bones are hollow; impiety has made a feast of thee.  61

Enter Mistress Overdone.

First Gent.

How now! which of your hips has the most profound sciatica?

Mrs. Ov.

Well, well; there’s one yonder arrested and carried to prison was worth five thousand of you all.  66

Second Gent.

Who’s that, I pray thee?

Mrs. Ov.

Marry, sir, that’s Claudio, Signior Claudio.

First Gent.

Claudio to prison! ’tis not so.  70

Mrs. Ov.

Nay, but I know ’tis so: I saw him arrested; saw him carried away; and, which is more, within these three days his head to be chopped off.

Lucio.

But, after all this fooling, I would not have it so. Art thou sure of this?  76

Mrs. Ov.

I am too sure of it; and it is for getting Madam Julietta with child.

Lucio.

Believe me, this may be: he promised to meet me two hours since, and he was ever precise in promise-keeping.  81

Second Gent.

Besides, you know, it draws something near to the speech we had to such a purpose.  84

First Gent.

But most of all, agreeing with the proclamation.

Lucio.

Away! let’s go learn the truth of it.

[Exeunt Lucio and Gentlemen.

Mrs. Ov.

Thus, what with the war, what with the sweat, what with the gallows and what with poverty, I am custom-shrunk.

Enter Pompey.

How now! what’s the news with you?

Pom.

Yonder man is carried to prison.  92

Mrs. Ov.

Well: what has he done?

Pom.

A woman.

Mrs. Ov.

But what’s his offence?

Pom.

Groping for trouts in a peculiar river.

Mrs. Ov.

What, is there a maid with child by him?

Pom.

No; but there’s a woman with maid by him. You have not heard of the proclamation, have you?  101

Mrs. Ov.

What proclamation, man?

Pom.

All houses of resort in the suburbs of Vienna must be plucked down  104

Mrs. Ov.

And what shall become of those in the city?

Pom.

They shall stand for seed: they had gone down too, but that a wise burgher put in for them.  109

Mrs. Ov.

But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs be pulled down?

Pom.

To the ground, mistress.  112

Mrs. Ov.

Why, here’s a change indeed in the commonwealth! What shall become of me?

Pom.

Come; fear not you: good counsellors lack no clients: though you change your place, you need not change your trade; I’ll be your tapster still. Courage! there will be pity taken on you; you that have worn your eyes almost out in the service, you will be considered.  120

Mrs. Ov.

What’s to do here, Thomas tapster?

Let’s withdraw.

Pom.

Here comes Signior Claudio, led by the provost to prison; and there’s Madam Juliet.

[Exeunt.

Enter Provost, Claudio, Juliet, and Officers.

Claud.

Fellow, why dost thou show me thus to the world?

Bear me to prison, where I am committed.

Prov.

I do it not in evil disposition,

But from Lord Angelo by special charge.  128

Claud.

Thus can the demi-god Authority

Make us pay down for our offence’ by weight.

The words of heaven; on whom it will, it will;

On whom it will not, so: yet still ’tis just.  132

Re-enter Lucio and two Gentlemen.

Lucio.

Why, how now, Claudio! whence comes this restraint?

Claud.

From too much liberty, my Lucio, liberty:

As surfeit is the father of much fast,

So every scope by the immoderate use  136

Turns to restraint. Our natures do pursue—

Like rats that ravin down their proper bane,—

A thirsty evil, and when we drink we die.

Lucio.

If I could speak so wisely under an arrest, I would send for certain of my creditors. And yet, to say the truth, I had as lief have the foppery of freedom as the morality of imprisonment. What’s thy offence, Claudio?  144

Claud.

What but to speak of would offend again.

Lucio.

What, is’t murder?

Claud.

No.  148

Lucio.

Lechery?

Claud.

Call it so.

Prov.

Away, sir! you must go.

Claud.

One word, good friend. Lucio, a word with you.

[Takes him aside.

Lucio.

A hundred, if they’ll do you any good.

Is lechery so looked after?

Claud.

Thus stands it with me: upon a true contract

I got possession of Julietta’s bed:  156

You know the lady; she is fast my wife,

Save that we do the denunciation lack

Of outward order: this we came not to,

Only for propagation of a dower  160

Remaining in the coffer of her friends,

From whom we thought it meet to hide our love

Till time had made them for us. But it chances

The stealth of our most mutual entertainment

With character too gross is writ on Juliet.  165

Lucio.

With child, perhaps?

Claud.

Unhappily, even so.

And the new deputy now for the duke,—

Whether it be the fault and glimpse of newness,  168

Or whether that the body public be

A horse whereon the governor doth ride,

Who, newly in the seat, that it may know

He can command, lets it straight feel the spur;

Whether the tyranny be in his place,  173

Or in his eminence that fills it up,

I stagger in:—but this new governor

Awakes me all the enrolled penalties  176

Which have, like unscour’d armour, hung by the wall

So long that nineteen zodiacs have gone round,

And none of them been worn; and, for a name,

Now puts the drowsy and neglected act  180

Freshly on me: ’tis surely for a name.

Lucio.

I warrant it is: and thy head stands so tickle on thy shoulders that a milkmaid, if she be in love, may sigh it off. Send after the duke and appeal to him.  185

Claud.

I have done so, but he’s not to be found.

I prithee, Lucio, do me this kind service.

This day my sister should the cloister enter,  188

And there receive her approbation:

Acquaint her with the danger of my state;

Implore her, in my voice, that she make friends

To the strict deputy; bid herself assay him:  192

I have great hope in that; for in her youth

There is a prone and speechless dialect,

Such as move men; beside, she hath prosperous art

When she will play with reason and discourse,

And well she can persuade.  197

Lucio.

I pray she may: as well for the encouragement of the like, which else would stand under grievous imposition, as for the enjoying of thy life, who I would be sorry should be thus foolishly lost at a game of tick-tack. I’ll to her.

Claud.

I thank you, good friend Lucio.

Lucio.

Within two hours.

Claud.

Come, officer, away!

[Exeunt.

Scene III.— A Monastery.

Enter Duke and Friar Thomas.

Duke.

No, holy father; throw away that thought:

Believe not that the dribbling dart of love

Can pierce a complete bosom. Why I desire thee

To give me secret harbour, hath a purpose  4

More grave and wrinkled than the aims and ends

Of burning youth.

Fri. T.

May your Grace speak of it?

Duke.

My holy sir, none better knows than you

How I have ever lov’d the life remov’d,  8

And held in idle price to haunt assemblies

Where youth, and cost, and witless bravery keeps.

I have deliver’d to Lord Angelo—

A man of stricture and firm abstinence—  12

My absolute power and place here in Vienna,

And he supposes me travell’d to Poland;

For so I have strew’d it in the common ear,

And so it is receiv’d. Now, pious sir,  16

You will demand of me why I do this?

Fri. T.

Gladly, my lord.

Duke.

We have strict statutes and most biting laws,—

The needful bits and curbs to headstrong steeds,—  20

Which for this fourteen years we have let sleep;

Even like an o’ergrown lion in a cave,

That goes not out to prey. Now, as fond fathers,

Having bound up the threat’ning twigs of birch,

Only to stick it in their children’s sight  25

For terror, not to use, in time the rod

Becomes more mock’d than fear’d; so our decrees,

Dead to infliction, to themselves are dead,  28

And liberty plucks justice by the nose;

The baby beats the nurse, and quite athwart

Goes all decorum.

Fri. T.

It rested in your Grace

T’ unloose this tied-up justice when you pleas’d;

And it in you more dreadful would have seem’d

Than in Lord Angelo.

Duke.

I do fear, too dreadful:

Sith ’twas my fault to give the people scope,  35

’Twould be my tyranny to strike and gall them

For what I bid them do: for we bid this be done,

When evil deeds have their permissive pass

And not the punishment. Therefore, indeed, my father,

I have on Angelo impos’d the office,  40

Who may, in the ambush of my name, strike home,

And yet my nature never in the sight

To do it slander. And to behold his sway,

I will, as ’twere a brother of your order,  44

Visit both prince and people: therefore, I prithee,

Supply me with the habit, and instruct me

How I may formally in person bear me

Like a true friar. Moe reasons for this action

At our more leisure shall I render you;  49

Only, this one: Lord Angelo is precise;

Stands at a guard with envy; scarce confesses

That his blood flows, or that his appetite  52

Is more to bread than stone: hence shall we see,

If power change purpose, what our seemers be.

[Exeunt.

Scene IV.— A Nunnery.

Enter Isabella and Francisca.

Isab.

And have you nuns no further privileges?

Fran.

Are not these large enough?

Isab.

Yes, truly: I speak not as desiring more,

But rather wishing a more strict restraint  4

Upon the sisterhood, the votarists of Saint Clare.

Lucto.

[Within.] Ho! Peace be in this place!

Isab.

Who’s that which calls?

Fran.

It is a man’s voice. Gentle Isabella,

Turn you the key, and know his business of him:

You may, I may not; you are yet unsworn.  9

When you have vow’d, you must not speak with men

But in the presence of the prioress:

Then, if you speak, you must not show your face,

Or, if you show your face, you must not speak.

He calls again; I pray you, answer him.

[Exit.

Isab.

Peace and prosperity! Who is’t that calls?

Enter Lucio.

Lucio.

Hail, virgin, if you be, as those cheek-roses  16

Proclaim you are no less! Can you so stead me

As bring me to the sight of Isabella,

A novice of this place, and the fair sister

To her unhappy brother Claudio?  20

Isab.

Why ‘her unhappy brother?’ let me ask;

The rather for I now must make you know

I am that Isabella and his sister.

Lucio.

Gentle and fair, your brother kindly greets you:  24

Not to be weary with you, he’s in prison.

Isab.

Woe me! for what?

Lucio.

For that which, if myself might be his judge,

He should receive his punishment in thanks:  28

He hath got his friend with child.

Isab.

Sir, make me not your story.

Lucio.

It is true.

I would not, though ’tis my familiar sin

With maids to seem the lapwing and to jest,  32

Tongue far from heart, play with all virgins so:

I hold you as a thing ensky’d and sainted;

By your renouncement an immortal spirit,

And to be talk’d with in sincerity,  36

As with a saint.

Isab.

You do blaspheme the good in mocking me.

Lucio.

Do not believe it. Fewness and truth, ’tis thus:

Your brother and his lover have embrac’d:  40

As those that feed grow full, as blossoming time

That from the seedness the bare fallow brings

To teeming foison, even so her plenteous womb

Expresseth his full tilth and husbandry.  44

Isab.

Some one with child by him? My cousin Juliet?

Lucio.

Is she your cousin?

Isab.

Adoptedly; asschool-maids change their names

By vain, though apt affection.

Lucio.

She it is.  48

Isab.

O! let him marry her.

Lucio.

This is the point.

The duke is very strangely gone from hence;

Bore many gentlemen, myself being one,

In hand and hope of action; but we do learn  52

By those that know the very nerves of state,

His givings out were of an infinite distance

From his true-meant design. Upon his place,

And with full line of his authority,  56

Governs Lord Angelo; a man whose blood

Is very snow-broth; one who never feels

The wanton stings and motions of the sense,

But doth rebate and blunt his natural edge  60

With profits of the mind, study and fast.

He,—to give fear to use and liberty,

Which have for long run by the hideous law,

As mice by lions, hath pick’d out an act,  64

Under whose heavy sense your brother’s life

Falls into forfeit: he arrests him on it,

And follows close the rigour of the statute,

To make him an example. All hope is gone,  68

Unless you have the grace by your fair prayer

To soften Angelo; and that’s my pith of business

Twixt you and your poor brother.

Isab.

Doth he so seek his life?

Lucio.

He’s censur’d him  72

Already; and, as I hear, the provost hath

A warrant for his execution.

Isab.

Alas! what poor ability’s in me

To do him good?

Lucio.

Assay the power you have.  76

Isab.

My power? alas! I doubt—

Lucio.

Our doubts are traitors,

And make us lose the good we oft might win,

By fearing to attempt. Go to Lord Angelo,

And let him learn to know, when maidens sue,  80

Men give like gods; but when they weep and kneel,

All their petitions are as freely theirs

As they themselves would owe them.

Isab.

I’ll see what I can do.

Lucio.

But speedily.  84

Isab.

I will about it straight;

No longer staying but to give the Mother

Notice of my affair. I humbly thank you:

Commend me to my brother; soon at night  88

I’ll send him certain word of my success.

Lucio.

I take my leave of you.

Isab.

Good sir, adieu.

[Exeunt.

ACT II.

Scene I.— A Hall in Angelo’s House.

Enter Angelo, Escalus, a Justice, Provost, Officers, and other Attendants.

Ang.

We must not make a scarecrow of the law,

Setting it up to fear the birds of prey,

And let it keep one shape, till custom make it

Their perch and not their terror.

Escal.

Ay, but yet  4

Let us be keen and rather cut a little,

Than fall, and bruise to death. Alas! this gentleman,

Whom I would save, had a most noble father.

Let but your honour know,—  8

Whom I believe to be most strait in virtue,—

That, in the working of your own affections,

Had time coher’d with place or place with wishing,

Or that the resolute acting of your blood  12

Could have attain’d the effect of your own purpose,

Whether you had not, some time in your life,

Err’d in this point which now you censure him,

And pull’d the law upon you.  16

Ang.

’Tis one thing to be tempted, Escalus,

Another thing to fall. I not deny,

The jury, passing on the prisoner’s life,

May in the sworn twelve have a thief or two  20

Guiltier than him they try; what’s open made to justice,

That justice seizes: what know the laws

That thieves do pass on thieves? ’Tis very pregnant,

The jewel that we find, we stoop and take it  24

Because we see it; but what we do not see

We tread upon, and never think of it.

You may not so extenuate his offence

For I have had such faults; but rather tell me,

When I, that censure him, do so offend,  29

Let mine own judgment pattern out my death,

And nothing come in partial. Sir, he must die.

Escal.

Be it as your wisdom will.

Ang.

Where is the provost?

Prov.

Here, if it like your honour.

Ang.

See that Claudio

Be executed by nine to-morrow morning:

Bring him his confessor, let him be prepar’d;

For that’s the utmost of his pilgrimage.  36

[Exit Provost.

Escal.

Well, heaven forgive him, and forgive us all!

Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall:

Some run from brakes of ice, and answer none,

And some condemned for a fault alone.  40

Enter Elbow and Officers, with Froth and Pompey.

Elb.

Come, bring them away: if these be good people in a common-weal that do nothing but use their abuses in common houses, I know no law: bring them away.  44

Ang.

How now, sir! What’s your name, and what’s the matter?

Elb.

If it please your honour, I am the poor duke’s constable, and my name is Elbow: I do lean upon justice, sir; and do bring in here before your good honour two notorious benefactors.  51

Ang.

Benefactors! Well; what benefactors are they? are they not malefactors?

Elb.

If it please your honour, I know not well what they are; but precise villains they are, that I am sure of, and void of all profanation in the world that good Christians ought to have.  57

Escal.

This comes off well: here’s a wise officer.

Ang.

Go to: what quality are they of? Elbow is your name? why dost thou not speak, Elbow?

Pom.

He cannot, sir: he’s out at elbow.  62

Ang.

What are you, sir?

Elb.

He, sir! a tapster, sir; parcel-bawd; one that serves a bad woman, whose house, sir, was, as they say, plucked down in the suburbs; and now she professes a hot-house, which, I think, is a very ill house too.  68

Escal.

How know you that?

Elb.

My wife, sir, whom I detest before heaven and your honour,—

Escal.

How! thy wife?  72

Elb.

Ay, sir; whom, I thank heaven, is an honest woman,—

Escal.

Dost thou detest her therefore?

Elb.

I say, sir, I will detest myself also, as well as she, that this house, if it be not a bawd’s house, it is pity of her life, for it is a naughty house.  79

Escal.

How dost thou know that, constable?

Elb.

Marry, sir, by my wife; who, if she had been a woman cardinally given, might have been accused in fornication, adultery, and all uncleanliness there.  84

Escal.

By the woman’s means?

Elb.

Ay, sir, by Mistress Overdone’s means; but as she spit in his face, so she defied him.

Pom.

Sir, if it please your honour, this is not so.  89

Elb.

Prove it before these varlets here, thou honourable man, prove it.

Escal.

[To Angelo.] Do you hear how he misplaces?  93

Pom.

Sir, she came in, great with child, and longing,—saving your honour’s reverence,—for stewed prunes. Sir, we had but two in the house, which at that very distant time stood, as it were, in a fruit-dish, a dish of some three-pence; your honours have seen such dishes; they are not China dishes, but very good dishes.

Escal.

Go to, go to: no matter for the dish, sir.

Pom.

No, indeed, sir, not of a pin; you are therein in the right: but to the point. As I say, this Mistress Elbow, being, as I say, with child, and being great-bellied, and longing, as I said, for prunes, and having but two in the dish, as I said, Master Froth here, this very man, having eaten the rest, as I said, and, as I say, paying for them very honestly; for, as you know, Master Froth, I could not give you three-pence again.

Froth.

No, indeed.  112

Pom.

Very well: you being then, if you be remembered, cracking the stones of the foresaid prunes,—

Froth.

Ay, so I did, indeed.  116

Pom.

Why, very well: I telling you then, if you be remembered, that such a one and such a one were past cure of the thing you wot of, unless they kept very good diet, as I told you,—  120

Froth.

All this is true.

Pom.

Why, very well then.—

Escal.

Come, you are a tedious fool: to the purpose. What was done to Elbow’s wife, that he hath cause to complain of? Come me to what was done to her.

Pom.

Sir, your honour cannot come to that yet.  128

Escal.

No, sir, nor I mean it not.

Pom.

Sir, but you shall come to it, by your honour’s leave. And, I beseech you, look into Master Froth here, sir; a man of fourscore pound a year, whose father died at Hallowmas. Was’t not at Hallowmas, Master Froth?  134

Froth.

All-hallownd eve.

Pom.

Why, very well: I hope here be truths. He, sir, sitting, as I say, in a lower chair, sir; ’twas in the Bunch of Grapes, where indeed, you have a delight to sit, have you not?  139

Froth.

I have so, because it is an open room and good for winter.

Pom.

Why, very well then: I hope here be truths.

Ang.

This will last out a night in Russia,  144

When nights are longest there: I’ll take my leave,

And leave you to the hearing of the cause,

Hoping you’ll find good cause to whip them all.

Escal.

I think no less. Good morrow to your lordship.

[Exit Angelo.

Now, sir, come on: what was done to Elbow’s wife, once more?

Pom.

Once, sir? there was nothing done to her once.  152

Elb.

I beseech you, sir, ask him what this man did to my wife.

Pom.

I beseech your honour, ask me.

Escal.

Well, sir, what did this gentleman to her?  157

Pom.

I beseech you, sir, look in this gentleman’s face. Good Master Froth, look upon his honour; ’tis for a good purpose. Doth your honour mark his face?  161

Escal.

Ay, sir, very well.

Pom.

Nay, I beseech you, mark it well.

Escal.

Well, I do so.  164

Pom.

Doth your honour see any harm in his face?

Escal.

Why, no.

Pom.

I’ll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him. Good, then; if his face be the worst thing about him, how could Master Froth do the constable’s wife any harm? I would know that of your honour.  172

Escal.

He’s in the right. Constable, what say you to it?

Elb.

First, an’ it like you, the house is a respected house; next, this is a respected fellow, and his mistress is a respected woman.  177

Pom.

By this hand, sir, his wife is a more respected person than any of us all.

Elb.

Varlet, thou liest: thou liest, wicked varlet. The time is yet to come that she was ever respected with man, woman, or child.  182

Pom.

Sir, she was respected with him before he married with her.

Escal.

Which is the wiser here? Justice, or Iniquity? Is this true?  186

Elb.

O thou caitiff! O thou varlet! O thou wicked Hannibal! I respected with her before I was married to her? If ever I was respected with her, or she with me, let not your worship think me the poor duke’s officer. Prove this, thou wicked Hannibal, or I’ll have mine action of battery on thee.  193

Escal.

If he took you a box o’ th’ ear, you might have your action of slander too.

Elb.

Marry, I thank your good worship for it. What is’t your worship’s pleasure I shall do with this wicked caitiff?  198

Escal.

Truly, officer, because he hath some offences in him that thou wouldest discover if thou couldst, let him continue in his courses till thou knowest what they are.  202

Elb.

Marry, I thank your worship for it. Thou seest, thou wicked varlet, now, what’s come upon thee: thou art to continue now, thou varlet, thou art to continue.

Escal.

Where were you born, friend?

Froth.

Here in Vienna, sir.  208

Escal.

Are you of fourscore pounds a year?

Froth.

Yes, an’t please you, sir.

Escal.

So. [To Pompey.] What trade are you of, sir?  212

Pom.

A tapster; a poor widow’s tapster.

Escal.

Your mistress’ name?

Pom.

Mistress Overdone.

Escal.

Hath she had any more than one husband?

Pom.

Nine, sir; Overdone by the last.  218

Escal.

Nine!—Come hither to me, Master Froth. Master Froth, I would not have you acquainted with tapsters; they will draw you, Master Froth, and you will hang them. Get you gone, and let me hear no more of you.

Froth.

I thank your worship. For mine own part, I never come into any room in a taphouse, but I am drawn in.  226

Escal.

Well: no more of it, Master Froth: farewell. [Exit Froth.]—Come you hither to me, Master tapster. What’s your name, Master tapster?

Pom.

Pompey.

Escal.

What else?  232

Pom.

Bum, sir.

Escal.

Troth, and your bum is the greatest thing about you, so that, in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great. Pompey, you are partly a bawd, Pompey, howsoever you colour it in being a tapster, are you not? come, tell me true: it shall be the better for you.  239

Pom.

Truly, sir, I am a poor fellow that would live.

Escal.

How would you live, Pompey? by being a bawd? What do you think of the trade, Pompey? is it a lawful trade?  244

Pom.

If the law would allow it, sir.

Escal.

But the law will not allow it, Pompey; nor it shall not be allowed in Vienna.

Pom.

Does your worship mean to geld and splay all the youth of the city?

Escal.

No, Pompey.  250

Pom.

Truly, sir, in my humble opinion, they will to’t then. If your worship will take order for the drabs and the knaves, you need not to fear the bawds.

Escal.

There are pretty orders beginning, I can tell you: it is but heading and hanging.  256

Pom.

If you head and hang all that offend that way but for ten year together, you’ll be glad to give out a commission for more heads. If this law hold in Vienna ten year, I’ll rent the fairest house in it after threepence a bay. If you live to see this come to pass, say, Pompey told you so.  263

Escal.

Thank you, good Pompey; and, in requital of your prophecy, hark you: I advise you, let me not find you before me again upon any complaint whatsoever; no, not for dwelling where you do: if I do, Pompey, I shall beat you to your tent, and prove a shrewd Cæsar to you. In plain dealing, Pompey, I shall have you whipt. So, for this time, Pompey, fare you well.  272

Pom.

I thank your worship for your good counsel;—[Aside.] but I shall follow it as the flesh and fortune shall better determine.

Whip me! No, no; let carman whip his jade;

The valiant heart’s not whipt out of his trade.

[Exit.

Escal.

Come hither to me, Master Elbow; come hither, Master constable. How long have you been in this place of constable?  280

Elb.

Seven year and a half, sir.

Escal.

I thought, by your readiness in the office, you had continued in it some time. You say, seven years together?  284

Elb.

And a half, sir.

Escal.

Alas! it hath been great pains to you! They do you wrong to put you so oft upon ’t. Are there not men in your ward sufficient to serve it?  289

Elb.

Faith, sir, few of any wit in such matters. As they are chosen, they are glad to choose me for them: I do it for some piece of money, and go through with all.  293

Escal.

Look you bring me in the names of some six or seven, the most sufficient of your parish.  296

Elb.

To your worship’s house, sir?

Escal.

To my house. Fare you well.

[Exit Elbow.

What’s o’clock, think you?

Just.

Eleven, sir.  300

Escal.

I pray you home to dinner with me.

Just.

I humbly thank you.

Escal.

It grieves me for the death of Claudio;

But there is no remedy.  304

Just.

Lord Angelo is severe.

Escal.

It is but needful:

Mercy is not itself, that oft looks so;

Pardon is still the nurse of second woe.

But yet, poor Claudio! There’s no remedy.  308

Come, sir.

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— Another Room in the Same.

Enter Provost and a Servant.

Serv.

He’s hearing of a cause: he will come straight:

I’ll tell him of you.

Prov.

Pray you, do. [Exit Serv.] I’ll know

His pleasure; may be he will relent. Alas!

He hath but as offended in a dream:  4

All sects, all ages smack of this vice, and he

To die for it!

Enter Angelo.

Ang.

Now, what’s the matter, provost?

Prov.

Is it your will Claudio shall die to-morrow?

Ang.

Did I not tell thee, yea? hadst thou not order?  8

Why dost thou ask again?

Prov.

Lest I might be too rash.

Under your good correction, I have seen,

When, after execution, Judgment hath

Repented o’er his doom.

Ang

Go to; let that be mine:  12

Do you your office, or give up your place,

And you shall well be spar’d.

Prov.

I crave your honour’s pardon.

What shall be done, sir, with the groaning Juliet?

She’s very near her hour.

Ang.

Dispose of her  16

To some more fitter place; and that with speed.

Re-enter Servant.

Serv.

Here is the sister of the man condemn’d

Desires access to you.

Ang.

Hath he a sister?

Prov.

Ay, my good lord; a very virtuous maid,  20

And to be shortly of a sisterhood,

If not already.

Ang.

Well, let her be admitted.

[Exit Servant.

See you the fornicatress be remov’d:

Let her have needful, but not lavish, means;  24

There shall be order for’t.

Enter Isabella and Lucio.

Prov.

God save your honour!

[Offering to retire.

Ang.

Stay a little while.—[To Isab.] You’re welcome: what’s your will?

Isab.

I am a woful suitor to your honour,

Please but your honour hear me.

Ang.

Well; what’s your suit?  28

Isab.

There is a vice that most I do abhor,

And most desire should meet the blow of justice,

For which I would not plead, but that I must;

For which I must not plead, but that I am  32

At war ’twixt will and will not.

Ang.

Well; the matter?

Isab.

I have a brother is condemn’d to die:

I do beseech you, let it be his fault,

And not my brother.

Prov.

[Aside.] Heaven give thee moving graces!  36

Ang.

Condemn the fault, and not the actor of it?

Why, every fault’s condemn’d ere it be done.

Mine were the very cipher of a function,

To fine the faults whose fine stands in record,  40

And let go by the actor.

Isab.

O just, but severe law!

I had a brother, then.—Heaven keep your honour!

[Retiring.

Lucio.

[Aside to Isab.] Give’t not o’er so: to him again, entreat him;

Kneel down before him, hang upon his gown;

You are too cold; if you should need a pin,  45

You could not with more tame a tongue desire it.

To him. I say!

Isab.

Must he needs die?

Ang.

Maiden, no remedy.

Isab.

Yes; I do think that you might pardon him,  49

And neither heaven nor man grieve at the mercy.

Ang.

I will not do’t.

Isab.

But can you, if you would?

Ang.

Look, what I will not, that I cannot do.

Isab.

But might you do’t, and do the world no wrong,  53

If so your heart were touch’d with that remorse

As mine is to him?

Ang.

He’s sentenc’d: ’tis too late.

Lucio.

[Aside to Isab.] You are too cold.  56

Isab.

Too late? why, no; I, that do speak a word,

May call it back again. Well, believe this,

No ceremony that to great ones ’longs,

Not the king’s crown, nor the deputed sword,  60

The marshal’s truncheon, nor the judge’s robe,

Become them with one half so good a grace

As mercy does.

If he had been as you, and you as he,  64

You would have slipt like him; but he, like you,

Would not have been so stern.

Ang.

Pray you, be gone.

Isab.

I would to heaven I had your potency,

And you were Isabel! should it then be thus?  68

No; I would tell what ’twere to be a judge,

And what a prisoner.

Lucio.

[Aside to Isab.] Ay, touch him; there’s the vein.

Ang.

Your brother is a forfeit of the law,

And you but waste your words.

Isab.

Alas! alas!  72

Why, all the souls that were were forfeit once;

And He that might the vantage best have took,

Found out the remedy. How would you be,

If He, which is the top of judgment, should  76

But judge you as you are? O! think on that,

And mercy then will breathe within your lips,

Like man new made.

Ang.

Be you content, fair maid;

It is the law, not I, condemn your brother:  80

Were he my kinsman, brother, or my son,

It should be thus with him: he must die to-morrow.

Isab.

To-morrow! O! that’s sudden! Spare him, spare him!

He’s not prepar’d for death. Even for our kitchens  84

We kill the fowl of season: shall we serve heaven

With less respect than we do minister

To our gross selves? Good, good my lord, bethink you:

Who is it that hath died for this offence?  88

There’s many have committed it.

Lucio.

[Aside to Isab.] Ay, well said.

Ang.

The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept:

Those many had not dar’d to do that evil,

If that the first that did th’ edict infringe  92

Had answer’d for his deed: now ’tis awake,

Takes note of what is done, and, like a prophet,

Looks in a glass, that shows what future evils,

Either new, or by remissness new-conceiv’d,  96

And so in progress to be hatch’d and born,

Are now to have no successive degrees,

But, ere they live, to end.

Isab.

Yet show some pity.

Ang.

I show it most of all when I show justice;

For then I pity those I do not know,  101

Which a dismiss’d offence would after gall,

And do him right, that, answering one foul wrong,

Lives not to act another. Be satisfied:  104

Your brother dies to-morrow: be content.

Isab.

So you must be the first that gives this sentence,

And he that suffers. O! it is excellent

To have a giant’s strength, but it is tyrannous

To use it like a giant.

Lucio.

[Aside to Isab.] That’s well said.  109

Isab.

Could great men thunder

As Jove himself does, Jove would ne’er be quiet,

For every pelting, petty officer  112

Would use his heaven for thunder; nothing but thunder.

Merciful heaven!

Thou rather with thy sharp and sulphurous bolt

Split’st the unwedgeable and gnarled oak  116

Than the soft myrtle; but man, proud man,

Drest in a little brief authority,

Most ignorant of what he’s most assur’d,

His glassy essence, like an angry ape,  120

Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven

As make the angels weep; who, with our spleens,

Would all themselves laugh mortal.

Lucio.

[Aside to Isab.] O, to him, to him, wench! He will relent:  124

He’s coming: I perceive’t.

Prov.

[Aside.] Pray heaven she win him!

Isab.

We cannot weigh our brother with ourself:

Great men may jest with saints; ’tis wit in them,

But, in the less foul profanation.  128

Lucio.

[Aside to Isab.] Thou’rt in the right, girl: more o’ that.

Isab.

That in the captain’s but a choleric word,

Which in the soldier is flat blasphemy.

Lucio.

[Aside to Isab.] Art advis’d o’ that? more on ’t.  132

Ang.

Why do you put these sayings upon me?

Isab.

Because authority, though it err like others,

Hath yet a kind of medicine in itself,

That skins the vice o’ the top. Go to your bosom;

Knock there, and ask your heart what it doth know  137

That’s like my brother’s fault: if it confess

A natural guiltiness such as is his,

Let it not sound a thought upon your tongue  140

Against my brother’s life.

Ang.

She speaks, and ’tis

Such sense that my sense breeds with it. Fare you well.

Isab.

Gentle my lord, turn back.

Ang.

I will bethink me. Come again to-morrow.  144

Isab.

Hark how I’ll bribe you. Good my lord, turn back.

Ang.

How! bribe me?

Isab.

Ay, with such gifts that heaven shall share with you.

Lucio.

[Aside to Isab.] You had marr’d all else.  148

Isab.

Not with fond sicles of the tested gold,

Or stones whose rates are either rich or poor

As fancy values them; but with true prayers

That shall be up at heaven and enter there  152

Ere sun-rise: prayers from preserved souls,

From fasting maids whose minds are dedicate

To nothing temporal.

Ang.

Well; come to me to-morrow.

Lucio.

[Aside to Isab.] Go to; ’tis well: away!

Isab.

Heaven keep your honour safe!

Ang.

[Aside.] Amen:

For I am that way going to temptation,

Where prayers cross.

Isab.

At what hour to-morrow

Shall I attend your lordship?

Ang.

At any time ’fore noon.  160

Isab.

Save your honour!

[Exeunt Isabella, Lucio, and Provost.

Ang.

From thee; even from thy virtue!

What’s this? what’s this? Is this her fault or mine?

The tempter or the tempted, who sins most?

Ha!  164

Not she; nor doth she tempt: but it is I,

That, lying by the violet in the sun,

Do as the carrion does, not as the flower,

Corrupt with virtuous season. Can it be  168

That modesty may more betray our sense

Than woman’s lightness? Having waste ground enough,

Shall we desire to raze the sanctuary,

And pitch our evils there? O, fie, fie, fie!  172

What dost thou, or what art thou, Angelo?

Dost thou desire her foully for those things

That make her good? O, let her brother live!

Thieves for their robbery have authority  176

When judges steal themselves. What! do I love her,

That I desire to hear her speak again,

And feast upon her eyes? What is’t I dream on?

O cunning enemy, that, to catch a saint,  180

With saints dost bait thy hook! Most dangerous

Is that temptation that doth goad us on

To sin in loving virtue: never could the strumpet,

With all her double vigour, art and nature,  184

Once stir my temper; but this virtuous maid

Subdues me quite. Ever till now,

When men were fond, I smil’d and wonder’d how.

[Exit.

Scene III.— A Room in a Prison.

Enter Duke, disguised as a friar, and Provost.

Duke.

Hail to you, provost! so I think you are.

Prov.

I am the provost. What’s your will, good friar?

Duke.

Bound by my charity and my bless’d order,

I come to visit the afflicted spirits  4

Here in the prison: do me the common right

To let me see them and to make me know

The nature of their crimes, that I may minister

To them accordingly.  8

Prov.

I would do more than that, if more were needful.

Look, here comes one: a gentlewoman of mine,

Who, falling in the flaws of her own youth,

Hath blister’d her report. She is with child,  12

And he that got it, sentenc’d; a young man

More fit to do another such offence,

Than die for this.

Enter Juliet.

Duke.

When must he die?

Prov.

As I do think, to-morrow.

[To Juliet.] I have provided for you: stay a while,  17

And you shall be conducted.

Duke.

Repent you, fair one, of the sin you carry?

Juliet.

I do, and bear the shame most patiently.  20

Duke.

I’ll teach you how you shall arraign your conscience,

And try your penitence, if it be sound,

Or hollowly put on.

Juliet.

I’ll gladly learn.

Duke.

Love you the man that wrong’d you?

Juliet.

Yes, as I love the woman that wrong’d him.

Duke.

So then it seems your most offenceful act

Was mutually committed?

Juliet.

Mutually.

Duke.

Then was your sin of heavier kind than his.  28

Juliet.

I do confess it, and repent it, father.

Duke.

’Tis meet so, daughter: but lest you do repent,

As that the sin hath brought you to this shame,

Which sorrow is always toward ourselves, not heaven,  32

Showing we would not spare heaven as we love it,

But as we stand in fear,—

Juliet.

I do repent me, as it is an evil,

And take the shame with joy.

Duke.

There rest.  36

Your partner, as I hear, must die to-morrow,

And I am going with instruction to him.

God’s grace go with you! Benedicite!

[Exit.

Juliet.

Must die to-morrow! O injurious love,

That respites me a life, whose very comfort  41

Is still a dying horror!

Prov.

’Tis pity of him.

[Exeunt.

Scene IV.— A Room in Angelo’s House.

Enter Angelo.

Ang.

When I would pray and think, I think and pray

To several subjects: heaven hath my empty words,

Whilst my invention, hearing not my tongue,

Anchors on Isabel: heaven in my mouth,  4

As if I did but only chew his name,

And in my heart the strong and swelling evil

Of my conception. The state, whereon I studied,

Is like a good thing, being often read,  8

Grown fear’d and tedious; yea, my gravity,

Wherein, let no man hear me, I take pride,

Could I with boot change for an idle plume,

Which the air beats for vain. O place! O form!

How often dost thou with thy case, thy habit,  13

Wrench awe from fools, and tie the wiser souls

To thy false seeming! Blood, thou art blood:

Let’s write good angel on the devil’s horn,  16

’Tis not the devil’s crest.

Enter a Servant.

How now! who’s there?

Serv.

One Isabel, a sister,

Desires access to you.

Ang.

Teach her the way.

[Exit Servant.

O heavens!  20

Why does my blood thus muster to my heart,

Making both it unable for itself,

And dispossessing all my other parts

Of necessary fitness?  24

So play the foolish throngs with one that swounds;

Come all to help him, and so stop the air

By which he should revive: and even so

The general, subject to a well-wish’d king,  28

Quit their own part, and in obsequious fondness

Crowd to his presence, where their untaught love

Must needs appear offence.

Enter Isabella.

How now, fair maid!

Isab.

I am come to know your pleasure.  32

Ang.

That you might know it, would much better please me,

Than to demand what ’tis. Your brother cannot live.

Isab.

Even so. Heaven keep your honour!

Ang.

Yet may he live awhile; and, it may be,

As long as you or I: yet he must die.  37

Isab.

Under your sentence?

Ang.

Yea.

Isab.

When, I beseech you? that in his reprieve,  40

Longer or shorter, he may be so fitted

That his soul sicken not.

Ang.

Ha! fie, these filthy vices! It were as good

To pardon him that hath from nature stolen  44

A man already made, as to remit

Their saucy sweetness that do coin heaven’s image

In stamps that are forbid: ’tis all as easy

Falsely to take away a life true made,  48

As to put metal in restrained means

To make a false one.

Isab.

’Tis set down so in heaven, but not in earth.

Ang.

Say you so? then I shall pose you quickly.  52

Which had you rather, that the most just law

Now took your brother’s life; or, to redeem him,

Give up your body to such sweet uncleanness

As she that he hath stain’d?

Isab.

Sir, believe this,  56

I had rather give my body than my soul.

Ang.

I talk not of your soul. Our compell’d sins

Stand more for number than for accompt.

Isab.

How say you?

Ang.

Nay, I’ll not warrant that; for I can speak  60

Against the thing I say. Answer to this:

I, now the voice of the recorded law,

Pronounce a sentence on your brother’s life:

Might there not be a charity in sin  64

To save this brother’s life?

Isab.

Please you to do’t,

I’ll take it as a peril to my soul;

It is no sin at all, but charity.

Ang.

Pleas’d you to do’t, at peril of your soul,

Were equal poise of sin and charity.

Isab.

That I do beg his life, if it be sin,

Heaven let me bear it! you granting of my suit,

If that be sin, I’ll make it my morn prayer  72

To have it added to the faults of mine,

And nothing of your answer.

Ang.

Nay, but hear me.

Your sense pursues not mine: either you are ignorant,

Or seem so craftily; and that’s not good.  76

Isab.

Let me be ignorant, and in nothing good,

But graciously to know I am no better.

Ang.

Thus wisdom wishes to appear most bright

When it doth tax itself; as these black masks  80

Proclaim an enshield beauty ten times louder

Than beauty could, display’d. But mark me;

To be received plain, I’ll speak more gross:

Your brother is to die.  84

Isab.

So.

Ang.

And his offence is so, as it appears

Accountant to the law upon that pain.

Isab.

True.  88

Ang.

Admit no other way to save his life,—

As I subscribe not that, nor any other,

But in the loss of question,—that you, his sister,

Finding yourself desir’d of such a person,  92

Whose credit with the judge, or own great place,

Could fetch your brother from the manacles

Of the all-building law; and that there were

No earthly mean to save him, but that either  96

You must lay down the treasures of your body

To this suppos’d, or else to let him suffer;

What would you do?

Isab.

As much for my poor brother, as myself:

That is, were I under the terms of death,  101

Th’ impression of keen whips I’d wear as rubies,

And strip myself to death, as to a bed

That, longing, have been sick for, ere I’d yield

My body up to shame.

Ang.

Then must your brother die.

Isab.

And ’twere the cheaper way:

Better it were a brother died at once,

Than that a sister, by redeeming him,  108

Should die for ever.

Ang.

Were not you then as cruel as the sentence

That you have slander’d so?

Isab.

Ignomy in ransom and free pardon  112

Are of two houses: lawful mercy

Is nothing kin to foul redemption.

Ang.

You seem’d of late to make the law a tyrant;

And rather prov’d the sliding of your brother  116

A merriment than a vice.

Isab.

O, pardon me, my lord! it oft falls out,

To have what we would have, we speak not what we mean.

I something do excuse the thing I hate,  120

For his advantage that I dearly love.

Ang.

We are all frail.

Isab.

Else let my brother die,

If not a feodary, but only he

Owe and succeed thy weakness.  124

Ang.

Nay, women are frail too.

Isab.

Ay, as the glasses where they view themselves,

Which are as easy broke as they make forms.

Women! Help heaven! men their creation mar

In profiting by them. Nay, call us ten times frail,

For we are soft as our complexions are,

And credulous to false prints.

Ang.

I think it well:

And from this testimony of your own sex,—  132

Since I suppose we are made to be no stronger

Than faults may shake our frames,—let me be bold;

I do arrest your words. Be that you are,

That is, a woman; if you be more, you’re none;

If you be one, as you are well express’d  137

By all external warrants, show it now,

By putting on the destin’d livery.

Isab.

I have no tongue but one: gentle my lord,  140

Let me entreat you speak the former language.

Ang.

Plainly conceive, I love you.

Isab.

My brother did love Juliet; and you tell me

That he shall die for’t.  144

Ang.

He shall not, Isabel, if you give me love.

Isab.

I know your virtue hath a licence in’t.

Which seems a little fouler than it is,

To pluck on others.

Ang.

Believe me, on mine honour,

My words express my purpose.  149

Isab.

Ha! little honour to be much believ’d,

And most pernicious purpose! Seeming, seeming!

I will proclaim thee, Angelo; look for’t:  152

Sign me a present pardon for my brother,

Or with an outstretch’d throat I’ll tell the world aloud

What man thou art.

Ang.

Who will believe thee, Isabel?

My unsoil’d name, the austereness of my life,  156

My vouch against you, and my place i’ the state,

Will so your accusation overweigh,

That you shall stifle in your own report

And smell of calumny. I have begun;  160

And now I give my sensual race the rein:

Fit thy consent to my sharp appetite;

Lay by all nicety and prolixious blushes,

That banish what they sue for; redeem thy brother  164

By yielding up thy body to my will,

Or else he must not only die the death,

But thy unkindness shall his death draw out

To lingering sufferance. Answer me to-morrow,

Or, by the affection that now guides me most,

I’ll prove a tyrant to him. As for you,  170

Say what you can, my false o’erweighs your true.

[Exit.

Isab.

To whom should I complain? Did I tell this,  172

Who would believe me? O perilous mouths!

That bear in them one and the self-same tongue,

Either of condemnation or approof,

Bidding the law make curt’sy to their will;  176

Hooking both right and wrong to th’ appetite,

To follow as it draws. I’ll to my brother:

Though he hath fallen by prompture of the blood,

Yet hath he in him such a mind of honour,  180

That, had he twenty heads to tender down

On twenty bloody blocks, he’d yield them up,

Before his sister should her body stoop

To such abhorr’d pollution.  184

Then, Isabel, live chaste, and, brother, die:

More than our brother is our chastity.

I’ll tell him yet of Angelo’s request,

And fit his mind to death, for his soul’s rest.  188

[Exit.

ACT III.

Scene I.— A Room in the Prison.

Enter Duke, as a friar, Claudio, and Provost.

Duke.

So then you hope of pardon from Lord Angelo?

Claud.

The miserable have no other medicine

But only hope:

I have hope to live, and am prepar’d to die.  4

Duke.

Be absolute for death; either death or life

Shall thereby be the sweeter. Reason thus with life:

If I do lose thee, I do lose a thing

That none but fools would keep: a breath thou art,  8

Servile to all the skyey influences,

That dost this habitation, where thou keep’st,

Hourly afflict. Merely, thou art death’s fool;

For him thou labour’st by thy flight to shun,  12

And yet run’st toward him still. Thou art not noble:

For all th’ accommodations that thou bear’st

Are nurs’d by baseness. Thou art by no means valiant;

For thou dost fear the soft and tender fork  16

Of a poor worm. Thy best of rest is sleep,

And that thou oft provok’st; yet grossly fear’st

Thy death, which is no more. Thou art not thyself;

For thou exist’st on many a thousand grains  20

That issue out of dust. Happy thou art not;

For what thou hast not, still thou striv’st to get,

And what thou hast, forget’st. Thou art not certain;

For thy complexion shifts to strange effects,  24

After the moon. If thou art rich, thou’rt poor;

For, like an ass whose back with ingots bows,

Thou bear’st thy heavy riches but a journey,

And death unloads thee. Friend hast thou none;

For thine own bowels, which do call thee sire,

The mere effusion of thy proper loins,

Do curse the gout, serpigo, and the rheum,

For ending thee no sooner. Thou hast nor youth nor age;  32

But, as it were, an after-dinner’s sleep,

Dreaming on both; for all thy blessed youth

Becomes as aged, and doth beg the alms

Of palsied eld; and when thou art old and rich,

Thou hast neither heat, affection, limb, nor beauty,  37

To make thy riches pleasant. What’s yet in this

That bears the name of life? Yet in this life

Lie hid moe thousand deaths: yet death we fear,

That makes these odds all even.

Claud.

I humbly thank you.

To sue to live, I find I seek to die,

And, seeking death, find life: let it come on.

Isab.

[Within.] What ho! Peace here; grace and good company!  44

Prov.

Who’s there? come in: the wish deserves a welcome.

Duke.

Dear sir, ere long I’ll visit you again.

Claud.

Most holy sir, I thank you.  47

Enter Isabella.

Is.

My business is a word or two with Claudio.

Prov.

And very welcome. Look, signior; here’s your sister.

Duke.

Provost, a word with you.

Prov.

As many as you please.

Duke.

Bring me to hear them speak, where I may be conceal’d.  52

[Exeunt Duke and Provost.

Claud.

Now, sister, what’s the comfort?

Isab.

Why, as all comforts are; most good, most good indeed.

Lord Angelo, having affairs to heaven,

Intends you for his swift ambassador,  56

Where you shall be an everlasting leiger:

Therefore, your best appointment make with speed;

To-morrow you set on.

Claud.

Is there no remedy?

Isab.

None, but such remedy, as to save a head  60

To cleave a heart in twain.

Claud.

But is there any?

Isab.

Yes, brother, you may live:

There is a devilish mercy in the judge,

If you’ll implore it, that will free your life,  64

But fetter you till death.

Claud.

Perpetual durance?

Isab.

Ay, just; perpetual durance, a restraint,

Though all the world’s vastidity you had,

To a determin’d scope.

Claud.

But in what nature?  68

Isab.

In such a one as, you consenting to’t,

Would bark your honour from that trunk you bear,

And leave you naked.

Claud.

Let me know the point.

Isab.

O, I do fear thee, Claudio; and I quake,

Lest thou a feverous life shouldst entertain,

And six or seven winters more respect

Than a perpetual honour. Dar’st thou die?

The sense of death is most in apprehension,  76

And the poor beetle, that we tread upon,

In corporal sufferance finds a pang as great

As when a giant dies.

Claud.

Why give you me this shame?

Think you I can a resolution fetch  80

From flowery tenderness? If I must die,

I will encounter darkness as a bride,

And hug it in mine arms.

Isab.

There spake my brother: there my father’s grave  84

Did utter forth a voice. Yes, thou must die:

Thou art too noble to conserve a life

In base appliances. This outward-sainted deputy,

Whose settled visage and deliberate word  88

Nips youth i’ the head, and follies doth enmew

As falcon doth the fowl, is yet a devil;

His filth within being cast, he would appear

A pond as deep as hell.

Claud.

The prenzie Angelo?  92

Isab.

O, ’tis the cunning livery of hell,

The damned’st body to invest and cover

In prenzie guards! Dost thou think, Claudio?

If I would yield him my virginity,  96

Thou mightst be freed.

Claud.

O heavens! it cannot be.

Isab.

Yes, he would give’t thee, from this rank offence,

So to offend him still. This night’s the time

That I should do what I abhor to name,  100

Or else thou diest to-morrow.

Claud.

Thou shalt not do’t.

Isab.

O! were it but my life,

I’d throw it down for your deliverance

As frankly as a pin.

Claud.

Thanks, dear Isabel.  104

Isab.

Be ready, Claudio, for your death to-morrow.

Claud.

Yes. Has he affections in him,

That thus can make him bite the law by the nose,

When he would force it? Sure, it is no sin;  108

Or of the deadly seven it is the least.

Isab.

Which is the least?

Claud.

If it were damnable, he being so wise,

Why would he for the momentary trick  112

Be perdurably fin’d? O Isabel!

Isab.

What says my brother?

Claud.

Death is a fearful thing.

Isab.

And shamed life a hateful.

Claud.

Ay, but to die, and go we know not where;  116

To lie in cold obstruction and to rot;

This sensible warm motion to become

A kneaded clod; and the delighted spirit

To bathe in fiery floods, or to reside  120

In thrilling region of thick-ribbed ice;

To be imprison’d in the viewless winds,

And blown with restless violence round about

The pendant world; or to be worse than worst

Of those that lawless and incertain thoughts

Imagine howling: ’tis too horrible!

The weariest and most loathed worldly life

That age, ache, penury and imprisonment  128

Can lay on nature is a paradise

To what we fear of death.

Isab.

Alas! alas!

Claud.

Sweet sister, let me live:

What sin you do to save a brother’s life,  132

Nature dispenses with the deed so far

That it becomes a virtue.

Isab.

O you beast!

O faithless coward! O dishonest wretch!

Wilt thou be made a man out of my vice?  136

Is’t not a kind of incest, to take life

From thine own sister’s shame? What should I think?

Heaven shield my mother play’d my father fair;

For such a warped slip of wilderness  140

Ne’er issu’d from his blood. Take my defiance;

Die, perish! Might but my bending down

Reprieve thee from thy fate, it should proceed.

I’ll pray a thousand prayers for thy death,  144

No word to save thee.

Claud.

Nay, hear me, Isabel.

Isab.

O, fie, fie, fie!

Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.

Mercy to thee would prove itself a bawd:  148

’Tis best that thou diest quickly.

[Going.

Claud.

O hear me, Isabella.

Re-enter Duke.

Duke.

Vouchsafe a word, young sister, but one word.

Isab.

What is your will?  151

Duke.

Might you dispense with your leisure, I would by and by have some speech with you: the satisfaction I would require is likewise your own benefit.

Isab.

I have no superfluous leisure: my stay must be stolen out of other affairs; but I will attend you a while.  158

Duke.

[Aside to Claudio.] Son, I have overheard what hath past between you and your sister. Angelo had never the purpose to corrupt her; only he hath made an assay of her virtue to practise his judgment with the disposition of natures. She, having the truth of honour in her, hath made him that gracious denial which he is most glad to receive: I am confessor to Angelo, and I know this to be true; therefore prepare yourself to death. Do not satisfy your resolution with hopes that are fallible: to-morrow you must die; go to your knees and make ready.  170

Claud.

Let me ask my sister pardon. I am so out of love with life that I will sue to be rid of it.

Duke.

Hold you there: farewell.  174

[Exit Claudio.

Re-enter Provost.

Provost, a word with you.

Prov.

What’s your will, father?

Duke.

That now you are come, you will be gone. Leave me awhile with the maid: my mind promises with my habit no loss shall touch her by my company.  180

Prov.

In good time.

[Exit.

Duke.

The hand that hath made you fair hath made you good: the goodness that is cheap in beauty makes beauty brief in goodness; but grace, being the soul of your complexion, shall keep the body of it ever fair. The assault that Angelo hath made to you, fortune hath conveyed to my understanding; and, but that frailty hath examples for his falling, I should wonder at Angelo. How would you do to content this substitute, and to save your brother?  192

Isab.

I am now going to resolve him; I had rather my brother die by the law than my son should be unlawfully born. But O, how much is the good duke deceived in Angelo! If ever he return and I can speak to him. I will open my lips in vain, or discover his government.  198

Duke.

That shall not be much amiss: yet, as the matter now stands, he will avoid your accusation; ‘he made trial of you only.’ Therefore, fasten your ear on my advisings: to the love I have in doing good a remedy presents itself. I do make myself believe that you may most uprighteously do a poor wronged lady a merited benefit, redeem your brother from the angry law, do no stain to your own gracious person, and much please the absent duke, if peradventure he shall ever return to have hearing of this business.  210

Isab.

Let me hear you speak further. I have spirit to do anything that appears not foul in the truth of my spirit.

Duke.

Virtue is bold, and goodness never fearful. Have you not heard speak of Mariana, the sister of Frederick, the great soldier who miscarried at sea?

Isab.

I have heard of the lady, and good words went with her name.  219

Duke.

She should this Angelo have married; was affianced to her by oath, and the nuptial appointed: between which time of the contract, and limit of the solemnity, her brother Frederick was wracked at sea, having in that perished vessel the dowry of his sister. But mark how heavily this befell to the poor gentlewoman: there she lost a noble and renowned brother, in his love toward her ever most kind and natural; with him the portion and sinew of her fortune, her marriage-dowry with both, her combinate husband, this well-seeming Angelo.  231

Isab.

Can this be so? Did Angelo so leave her?

Duke.

Left her in her tears, and dried not one of them with his comfort; swallowed his vows whole, pretending in her discoveries of dishonour: in few, bestowed her on her own lamentation, which she yet wears for his sake; and he, a marble to her tears, is washed with them, but relents not.  239

Isab.

What a merit were it in death to take this poor maid from the world! What corruption in this life, that it will let this man live! But how out of this can she avail?  243

Duke.

It is a rupture that you may easily heal; and the cure of it not only saves your brother, but keeps you from dishonour in doing it.

Isab.

Show me how, good father.  248

Duke.

This forenamed maid hath yet in her the continuance of her first affection: his unjust unkindness, that in all reason should have quenched her love, hath, like an impediment in the current, made it more violent and unruly. Go you to Angelo: answer his requiring with a plausible obedience: agree with his demands to the point; only refer yourself to this advantage, first, that your stay with him may not be long, that the time may have all shadow and silence in it, and the place answer to convenience. This being granted in course, and now follows all, we shall advise this wronged maid to stead up your appointment, go in your place; if the encounter acknowledge itself hereafter, it may compel him to her recompense; and here by this is your brother saved, your honour untainted, the poor Mariana advantaged, and the corrupt deputy scaled. The maid will I frame and make fit for his attempt. If you think well to carry this, as you may, the doubleness of the benefit defends the deceit from reproof. What think you of it?  271

Isab.

The image of it gives me content already, and I trust it will grow to a most prosperous perfection.

Duke.

It lies much in your holding up. Haste you speedily to Angelo: if for this night he entreat you to his bed, give him promise of satisfaction. I will presently to St. Luke’s; there, at the moated grange, resides this dejected Mariana: at that place call upon me, and dispatch with Angelo, that it may be quickly.  281

Isab.

I thank you for this comfort. Fare you well, good father.

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— The Street before the Prison.

Enter Duke, as a friar; to him Elbow, Pompey, and Officers.

Elb.

Nay, if there be no remedy for it, but that you will needs buy and sell men and women like beasts, we shall have all the world drink brown and white bastard.  4

Duke.

O heavens! what stuff is here?

Pom.

’Twas never merry world, since, of two usuries, the merriest was put down, and the worser allowed by order of law a furred gown to keep him warm; and furred with fox and lamb skins too, to signify that craft, being richer than innocency, stands for the facing.

Elb.

Come your way, sir. Bless you, good father friar.  13

Duke.

And you, good brother father. What offence hath this man made you, sir?

Elb.

Marry, sir, he hath offended the law: and, sir, we take him to be a thief too, sir; for we have found upon him, sir, a strange picklock, which we have sent to the deputy.

Duke.

Fie, sirrah: a bawd, a wicked bawd!  20

The evil that thou causest to be done,

That is thy means to live. Do thou but think

What ’tis to cram a maw or clothe a back

From such a filthy vice: say to thyself,  24

From their abominable and beastly touches

I drink, I eat, array myself, and live.

Canst thou believe thy living is a life,

So stinkingly depending? Go mend, go mend.  28

Pom.

Indeed, it does stink in some sort, sir; but yet, sir, I would prove—

Duke.

Nay, if the devil have given thee proofs for sin,

Thou wilt prove his. Take him to prison, officer;  32

Correction and instruction must both work

Ere this rude beast will profit.

Elb.

He must before the deputy, sir; he has given him warning. The deputy cannot abide a whoremaster: if he be a whoremonger, and comes before him, he were as good go a mile on his errand.

Duke.

That we were all, as some would seem to be,  40

From our faults, as faults from seeming, free!

Elb.

His neck will come to your waist,—a cord, sir.

Pom.

I spy comfort: I cry, bail. Here’s a gentleman and a friend of mine.  45

Enter Lucio.

Lucio.

How now, noble Pompey! What, at the wheels of Cæsar? Art thou led in triumph? What, is there none of Pygmalion’s images, newly made woman, to he had now, for putting the hand in the pocket and extracting it clutched? What reply? ha? What say’st thou to this tune, matter and method? Is’t not drowned i’ the last rain, ha? What sayest thou Trot? Is the world as it was, man? Which is the way? Is it sad, and few words, or how? The trick of it?  56

Duke.

Still thus, and thus, still worse!

Lucio.

How doth my dear morsel, thy mistress? Procures she still, ha?

Pom.

Troth, sir, she hath eaten up all her beef, and she is herself in the tub.  61

Lucio.

Why, ’tis good; it is the right of it; it must be so: ever your fresh whore and your powdered bawd: an unshunned consequence; it must be so. Art going to prison, Pompey?

Pom.

Yes, faith, sir.  66

Lucio.

Why, ’tis not amiss, Pompey. Farewell. Go, say I sent thee thither. For debt, Pompey? or how?

Elb.

For being a bawd, for being a bawd.  70

Lucio.

Well, then, imprison him. If imprisonment be the due of a bawd, why, ’tis his right: bawd is he, doubtless, and of antiquity too; bawd-born. Farewell, good Pompey. Commend me to the prison, Pompey. You will turn good husband now, Pompey; you will keep the house.  77

Pom.

I hope, sir, your good worship will be my bail.

Lucio.

No, indeed will I not, Pompey; it is not the wear. I will pray, Pompey, to increase your bondage: if you take it not patiently, why, your mettle is the more. Adieu, trusty Pompey. Bless you, friar.  84

Duke.

And you.

Lucio.

Does Bridget paint still, Pompey, ha?

Elb.

Come your ways, sir; come.

Pom.

You will not bail me then, sir?  88

Lucio.

Then, Pompey, nor now. What news abroad, friar? What news?

Elb.

Come your ways, sir; come.

Lucio.

Go to kennel, Pompey; go.  92

[Exeunt Elbow, Pompey and Officers.

What news, friar, of the duke?

Duke.

I know none. Can you tell me of any?

Lucio.

Some say he is with the Emperor of Russia; other some, he is in Rome: but where is he, think you?  97

Duke.

I know not where; but wheresoever, I wish him well.

Lucio.

It was a mad fantastical trick of him to steal from the state, and usurp the beggary he was never born to. Lord Angelo dukes it well in his absence; he puts transgression to’t.

Duke.

He does well in’t.  104

Lucio.

A little more lenity to lechery would do no harm in him: something too crabbed that way, friar.

Duke.

It is too general a vice, and severity must cure it.  109

Lucio.

Yes, in good sooth, the vice is of a great kindred; it is well allied; but it is impossible to extirp it quite, friar, till eating and drinking be put down. They say this Angelo was not made by man and woman after this downright way of creation: is it true, think you?

Duke.

How should he be made, then?  116

Lucio.

Some report a sea-maid spawn’d him; some that he was begot between two stock-fishes. But it is certain that when he makes water his urine is congealed ice; that I know to be true; and he is a motion generative; that’s infallible.

Duke.

You are pleasant, sir, and speak apace.

Lucio.

Why, what a ruthless thing is this in him, for the rebellion of a cod-piece to take away the life of a man! Would the duke that is absent have done this? Ere he would have hanged a man for the getting a hundred bastards, he would have paid for the nursing a thousand: he had some feeling of the sport; he knew the service, and that instructed him to mercy.  131

Duke.

I never heard the absent duke much detected for women; he was not inclined that way.

Lucio.

O, sir, you are deceived.

Duke.

’Tis not possible.  136

Lucio.

Who? not the duke? yes, your beggar of fifty, and his use was to put a ducat in her clack-dish; the duke had crotchets in him. He would be drunk too; that let me inform you.  140

Duke.

You do him wrong, surely.

Lucio.

Sir, I was an inward of his. A shy fellow was the duke; and, I believe I know the cause of his withdrawing.  144

Duke.

What, I prithee, might be the cause?

Lucio.

No, pardon; ’tis a secret must be locked within the teeth and the lips; but this I can let you understand, the greater file of the subject held the duke to be wise.

Duke.

Wise! why, no question but he was.

Lucio.

A very superficial, ignorant, unweighing fellow.  152

Duke.

Either this is envy in you, folly, or mistaking: the very stream of his life and the business he hath helmed must, upon a warranted need, give him a better proclamation. Let him be but testimonied in his own bringings forth, and he shall appear to the envious a scholar, a statesman and a soldier. Therefore you speak unskilfully; or, if your knowledge be more, it is much darkened in your malice.

Lucio.

Sir, I know him, and I love him.  162

Duke.

Love talks with better knowledge, and knowledge with dearer love.

Lucio.

Come, sir, I know what I know.

Duke.

I can hardly believe that, since you know not what you speak. But, if ever the duke return,—as our prayers are he may,—let me desire you to make your answer before him: if it be honest you have spoke, you have courage to maintain it. I am bound to call upon you; and, I pray you, your name?  172

Lucio.

Sir, my name is Lucio, well known to the duke.

Duke.

He shall know you better, sir, if I may live to report you.  176

Lucio.

I fear you not.

Duke.

O! you hope the duke will return no more, or you imagine me too unhurtful an opposite. But indeed I can do you little harm; you’ll forswear this again.

Lucio.

I’ll be hanged first: thou art deceived in me, friar. But no more of this. Canst thou tell if Claudio die to-morrow or no?  184

Duke.

Why should he die, sir?

Lucio.

Why? for filling a bottle with a tundish. I would the duke we talk of were returned again: this ungenitured agent will unpeople the province with continency; sparrows must not build in his house-eaves, because they are lecherous. The duke yet would have dark deeds darkly answered; he would never bring them to light: would he were returned! Marry, this Claudio is condemned for untrussing. Farewell, good friar; I prithee, pray for me. The duke, I say to thee again, would eat mutton on Fridays. He’s not past it yet, and I say to thee, he would mouth with a beggar, though she smelt brown bread and garlic: say that I said so. Farewell.

[Exit.

Duke.

No might nor greatness in mortality

Can censure ’scape: back-wounding calumny

The whitest virtue strikes. What king so strong

Can tie the gall up in the slanderous tongue?

But who comes here?  204

Enter Escalus, Provost, and Officers with Mistress Overdone.

Escal.

Go; away with her to prison!

Mrs. Ov.

Good my lord, be good to me; your honour is accounted a merciful man; good my lord.  208

Escal.

Double and treble admonition, and still forfeit in the same kind? This would make mercy swear, and play the tyrant.

Prov.

A bawd of eleven years’ continuance, may it please your honour.  213

Mrs. Ov.

My lord, this is one Lucio’s information against me. Mistress Kate Keepdown was with child by him in the duke’s time; he promised her marriage; his child is a year and a quarter old, come Philip and Jacob: I have kept it myself, and see how he goes about to abuse me!  220

Escal.

That fellow is a fellow of much licence: let him be called before us. Away with her to prison! Go to; no more words. [Exeunt Officers with Mistress Overdone.] Provost, my brother Angelo will not be altered; Claudio must die to-morrow. Let him be furnished with divines, and have all charitable preparation: if my brother wrought by my pity, it should not be so with him.  229

Prov.

So please you, this friar hath been with him, and advised him for the entertainment of death.  232

Escal.

Good even, good father.

Duke.

Bliss and goodness on you!

Escal.

Of whence are you?

Duke.

Not of this country, though my chance is now  236

To use it for my time: I am a brother

Of gracious order, late come from the See,

In special business from his Holiness.

Escal.

What news abroad i’ the world?  240

Duke.

None, but there is so great a fever on goodness, that the dissolution of it must cure it: novelty is only in request; and it is as dangerous to be aged in any kind of course, as it is virtuous to be constant in any undertaking: there is scarce truth enough alive to make societies secure, but security enough to make fellowships accursed. Much upon this riddle runs the wisdom of the world. This news is old enough, yet it is every day’s news. I pray you, sir, of what disposition was the duke?  251

Escal.

One that, above all other strifes, contended especially to know himself.

Duke.

What pleasure was he given to?  254

Escal.

Rather rejoicing to see another merry, than merry at anything which professed to make him rejoice: a gentleman of all temperance. But leave we him to his events, with a prayer they may prove prosperous; and let me desire to know how you find Claudio prepared. I am made to understand, that you have lent him visitation.  262

Duke.

He professes to have received no sinister measure from his judge, but most willingly humbles himself to the determination of justice; yet had he framed to himself, by the instruction of his frailty, many deceiving promises of life, which I, by my good leisure have discredited to him, and now is he resolved to die.  269

Escal.

You have paid the heavens your function, and the prisoner the very debt of your calling. I have laboured for the poor gentleman to the extremest shore of my modesty; but my brother justice have I found so severe, that he hath forced me to tell him he is indeed Justice.  276

Duke.

If his own life answer the straitness of his proceeding, it shall become him well; wherein if he chance to fail, he hath sentenced himself.

Escal.

I am going to visit the prisoner. Fare you well.

Duke.

Peace be with you!

[Exeunt Escalus and Provost.

He, who the sword of heaven will bear

Should be as holy as severe;  284

Pattern in himself to know,

Grace to stand, and virtue go;

More nor less to others paying

Than by self offences weighing.  288

Shame to him whose cruel striking

Kills for faults of his own liking!

Twice treble shame on Angelo,

To weed my vice and let his grow!  292

O, what may man within him hide,

Though angel on the outward side!

How many likeness made in crimes,

Making practice on the times,  296

To draw with idle spiders’ strings

Most pond’rous and substantial things!

Craft against vice I must apply:

With Angelo to-night shall lie  300

His old betrothed but despis’d:

So disguise shall, by the disguis’d,

Pay with falsehood false exacting,

And perform an old contracting.

[Exit.

ACT IV.

Scene I.— The moated Grange at St. Luke’s.

Enter Mariana and a Boy: Boy sings.

Take, O take those lips away,

That so sweetly were forsworn;

And those eyes, the break of day,

Lights that do mislead the morn:  4

But my kisses bring again,

bring again,

Seals of love, but seal’d in vain,

seal’d in vain.  8

Mari.

Break off thy song, and haste thee quick away:

Here comes a man of comfort, whose advice

Hath often still’d my brawling discontent.

[Exit Boy.

Enter Duke, disguised as before.

I cry you mercy, sir; and well could wish  12

You had not found me here so musical:

Let me excuse me, and believe me so,

My mirth it much displeas’d, but pleas’d my woe.

Duke.

’Tis good; though music oft hath such a charm  16

To make bad good, and good provoke to harm.

I pray you tell me, hath anybody inquired for me here to-day? much upon this time have I promised here to meet.  20

Mari.

You have not been inquired after: I have sat here all day.

Duke.

I do constantly believe you. The time is come even now. I shall crave your forbearance a little; may be I will call upon you anon, for some advantage to yourself.

Mari.

I am always bound to you.

[Exit.

Enter Isabella.

Duke.

Very well met, and well come.  28

What is the news from this good deputy?

Isab.

He hath a garden circummur’d with brick,

Whose western side is with a vineyard back’d;

And to that vineyard is a planched gate,  32

That makes his opening with this bigger key;

This other doth command a little door

Which from the vineyard to the garden leads;

There have I made my promise  36

Upon the heavy middle of the night

To call upon him.

Duke.

But shall you on your knowledge find this way?

Isab.

I have ta’en a due and wary note upon’t:  40

With whispering and most guilty diligence,

In action all of precept, he did show me

The way twice o’er.

Duke.

Are there no other tokens

Between you ’greed concerning her observance?

Isab.

No, none, but only a repair i’ the dark;

And that I have possess’d him my most stay

Can be but brief; for I have made him know

I have a servant comes with me along,  48

That stays upon me, whose persuasion is

I come about my brother.

Duke.

’Tis well borne up.

I have not yet made known to Mariana

A word of this. What ho! within! come forth.

Re-enter Mariana.

I pray you, be acquainted with this maid;  53

She comes to do you good.

Isab.

I do desire the like.

Duke.

Do you persuade yourself that I respect you?

Mari.

Good friar, I know you do, and oft have found it.  56

Duke.

Take then this your companion by the hand,

Who hath a story ready for your ear.

I shall attend your leisure: but make haste;

The vaporous night approaches.

Mari.

Will’t please you walk aside?  60

[Exeunt Mariana and Isabella.

Duke.

O place and greatness! millions of false eyes

Are stuck upon thee: volumes of report

Run with these false and most contrarious quests

Upon thy doings: thousand escapes of wit  64

Make thee the father of their idle dream,

And rack thee in their fancies!

Re-enter Mariana and Isabella.

Welcome! How agreed?

Isab.

She’ll take the enterprise upon her, father,

If you advise it.

Duke.

It is not my consent,  68

But my entreaty too.

Isab.

Little have you to say

When you depart from him, but, soft and low,

‘Remember now my brother.’

Mari.

Fear me not.

Duke.

Nor, gentle daughter, fear you not at all.

He is your husband on a pre-contract:  73

To bring you thus together, ’tis no sin,

Sith that the justice of your title to him

Doth flourish the deceit. Come, let us go:  76

Our corn’s to reap, for yet our tithe’s to sow.

[Exeunt.

Scene II.— A Room in the Prison.

Enter Provost and Pompey.

Prov.

Come hither, sirrah. Can you cut off a man’s head?

Pom.

If the man be a bachelor, sir, I can; but if he be a married man, he is his wife’s head, and I can never cut off a woman’s head.  5

Prov.

Come, sir, leave me your snatches, and yield me a direct answer. To-morrow morning are to die Claudio and Barnardine. Here is in our prison a common executioner, who in his office lacks a helper: if you will take it on you to assist him, it shall redeem you from your gyves; if not, you shall have your full time of imprisonment, and your deliverance with an unpitied whipping, for you have been a notorious bawd.  15

Pom.

Sir, I have been an unlawful bawd time out of mind; but yet I will be content to be a lawful hangman. I would be glad to receive some instruction from my fellow partner.

Prov.

What ho, Abhorson! Where’s Abhorson, there?  21

Enter Abhorson.

Abhor.

Do you call, sir?

Prov.

Sirrah, here’s a fellow will help you to-morrow in your execution. If you think it meet, compound with him by the year, and let him abide here with you; if not, use him for the present, and dismiss him. He cannot plead his estimation with you; he hath been a bawd.  28

Abhor.

A bawd, sir? Fie upon him! he will discredit our mystery.

Prov.

Go to, sir; you weigh equally; a feather will turn the scale.

[Exit.

Pom.

Pray, sir, by your good favour—for surely, sir, a good favour you have, but that you have a hanging look,—do you call, sir, your occupation a mystery?  36

Abhor.

Ay, sir; a mystery.

Pom.

Painting, sir, I have heard say, is a mystery; and your whores, sir, being members of my occupation, using painting, do prove my occupation a myste